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Old November 18th, 2017, 10:15 AM   #21
heymynameis
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake445 View Post
I don’t see anything wrong here especially with her parents in the room.
Cuddling or hugging is something you can enjoy without having any plans to go further.
It can just be really nice and pleasant.
exactly
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Old November 22nd, 2017, 07:33 PM   #22
Princesa77
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex0Shaw View Post
So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange.

- Alex
I'm glad her parents were in the room because it makes it feel nice being with her family. Her parents must think a lot of you to be so gentle to their 11 year old daughter, but remember that feelings in young girls still run as deep as those in their early teens. By all means cuddle her, but treat her gently, and in a brotherly manner.

In time if you go gently and sensitively, your friendship will grow as will may her parents come to trust you more and more. She is far too young to even think about having a boyfriend, but I bet she looks up to you as a good role model, and I hope your friendship continues.

Be aware also that though the age gap is only three years, your interests may well be more advanced than your young friend. Balance your interests, so having board games such as Monopoly puts you both on an even setting. Does she have a compact camera? Do you? Go out taking pictures in the garden, and take pics of you two, and dogs and cats... here again is this shared interest.

You will always remember your first girlfriend.boyfriend. Long may your friendship last. Have happy times growing together, but nothing serious for a long time yet.

Julie

The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.
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Old November 24th, 2017, 03:22 PM   #23
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Smile Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

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Originally Posted by Princesa77 View Post
I'm glad her parents were in the room because it makes it feel nice being with her family. Her parents must think a lot of you to be so gentle to their 11 year old daughter, but remember that feelings in young girls still run as deep as those in their early teens. By all means cuddle her, but treat her gently, and in a brotherly manner.

In time if you go gently and sensitively, your friendship will grow as will may her parents come to trust you more and more. She is far too young to even think about having a boyfriend, but I bet she looks up to you as a good role model, and I hope your friendship continues.

Be aware also that though the age gap is only three years, your interests may well be more advanced than your young friend. Balance your interests, so having board games such as Monopoly puts you both on an even setting. Does she have a compact camera? Do you? Go out taking pictures in the garden, and take pics of you two, and dogs and cats... here again is this shared interest.

You will always remember your first girlfriend.boyfriend. Long may your friendship last. Have happy times growing together, but nothing serious for a long time yet.

Julie
Aw, thanks Julie for them kinds words

Yeah her parents seem to really fine with me and kind to me, and say i'm always welcomed to come over anytime, which is nice, but i don't really talk as much when i'm around her parents i go pretty quiet mostly cause i think i'm going to say something bad or weird, but anyways i'm mostly quiet.

She does seem to get bullied which isn't nice, i always try to help her, and protect her if that happens when i'm around, so that's good of me. I do think of her as my sister and always will.

I mean when i was 11 i did date, when i was in primary in Year 6 a girl asked me out i don't think i really thought much of it really, but i went with it and she says she has a "boyfriend" but her parents say that, that boyfriend used to be not nice to her and said nasty words to her... so maybe she doesn't understand too well.. when i saw her yesterday i think that was one of the best days i have had with her, we walked the long way back to her house after i picked her up from school, since it was a school day and i don't go to school only on a Wednesday, then we talked, cuddled, it was nice i like doing stuff like this i just never really done it before so it makes me really happy.


What i have known, from her friend next door, that apparently her (my friend) thinks i like her, since okay i'ma admit this i kissed her on the cheek, i think that's a friendly thing to do, nothing as bad, so yeah that happened, and yeah i'm going to try to explain to her about are friendship on Sunday

We have done stuff together like go to park which i don't really do anymore but if it's with a friend that's fine also i went on a trampoline with her since she has one in her backyard, went on that once even though i didn't really want to but it was alright, also she likes to go on snapchat on my phone even though it kinda annoys me maybe do that once but more than that kinda annoys me since she gets weird xD but oh well i'm sure we will do new things sometimes, but i like the days when we just talk and cuddle, since i'm pretty chilled person, that likes to play video games now and then or watch movies, so yeah but friendship seems to get better and better each time we see eachother

Thanks again Julie
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Old November 24th, 2017, 09:04 PM   #24
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Smile Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Hi @Alex0Shaw

I am concerned that your 11 yo friend 'seems to get bullied a lot' is something you must tell her parents because bullying as we are aware is not acceptable neither is cyber-bullying, both can escalate quite dreadfully if it's not tackled with. To add to this, you should tell her Head of Class in writing that your friend seems to be getting bullied and you have been looking out for her.

Writing a short letter to the Head of Class will mean the teacher will action on it at their staff meeting. Written like this could help..

"Dear Head of Class (insert name),

My friend (insert her name and class at school) appears to be bullied by her peers and I am reporting this to you to take action during your next staff meeting.

Yours sincerely (insert your name and class)


and tell her parents you have also written, and print off a copy for them to see.

This opens the door to your talking to them more, and will be helpful by increasing your shyness and reticence to natter.

Your kissing her cheek is lovely enough as is a brotherly hug as it will impress on your young friend that she has someone who watches over her. I am moved that she lay her head on your shoulder while sat on the sofa. Your companionship must mean a lot to her, and her parents will have noticed and likely felt impressed their daughter has a good and trustworthy friend, and they will see how your friendship grows over the weeks to come.

Maybe you could buy her a little Christmas present, be it a CD or if she loved a soft toy like my 13 yo sister, nicknamed 'Belle. I tease her saying though she acts all grown up, still she loves her teddybears. I got a poke for that!

Importantly regarding Snapchat. There has been wide concerns from parents about this social media because images can find their way onto the internet and google images. I took Belle immediately off snapchat because I'd read an online article:

https://familyshare.com/19793/10-thi...e-snapchat-app

I feel it's important you also show that article to her parents, but speak to her first so it's not a shock if they delete the app. I became unpopular for deleting Bell's app, but she realised it was for her online safety.

I think you are being resposible for your young friend. Do feel welcome to PM me if you have any other concerns. This weekend I have band practise and a recording session, so it may take a while before I get back to reply.

All the best to you Alex

Julie

The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.
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Old November 25th, 2017, 02:09 PM   #25
Alex0Shaw
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Princesa77 View Post
Hi @Alex0Shaw

I am concerned that your 11 yo friend 'seems to get bullied a lot' is something you must tell her parents because bullying as we are aware is not acceptable neither is cyber-bullying, both can escalate quite dreadfully if it's not tackled with. To add to this, you should tell her Head of Class in writing that your friend seems to be getting bullied and you have been looking out for her.

Writing a short letter to the Head of Class will mean the teacher will action on it at their staff meeting. Written like this could help..

"Dear Head of Class (insert name),

My friend (insert her name and class at school) appears to be bullied by her peers and I am reporting this to you to take action during your next staff meeting.

Yours sincerely (insert your name and class)


and tell her parents you have also written, and print off a copy for them to see.

This opens the door to your talking to them more, and will be helpful by increasing your shyness and reticence to natter.

Your kissing her cheek is lovely enough as is a brotherly hug as it will impress on your young friend that she has someone who watches over her. I am moved that she lay her head on your shoulder while sat on the sofa. Your companionship must mean a lot to her, and her parents will have noticed and likely felt impressed their daughter has a good and trustworthy friend, and they will see how your friendship grows over the weeks to come.

Maybe you could buy her a little Christmas present, be it a CD or if she loved a soft toy like my 13 yo sister, nicknamed 'Belle. I tease her saying though she acts all grown up, still she loves her teddybears. I got a poke for that!

Importantly regarding Snapchat. There has been wide concerns from parents about this social media because images can find their way onto the internet and google images. I took Belle immediately off snapchat because I'd read an online article:

https://familyshare.com/19793/10-thi...e-snapchat-app

I feel it's important you also show that article to her parents, but speak to her first so it's not a shock if they delete the app. I became unpopular for deleting Bell's app, but she realised it was for her online safety.

I think you are being resposible for your young friend. Do feel welcome to PM me if you have any other concerns. This weekend I have band practise and a recording session, so it may take a while before I get back to reply.

All the best to you Alex

Julie
Her parents know about the bullying, and trying to do something about it, she has been bullied outside of school before like around her area and her parents said they have spoken to the child's mother who bullied her but about school i'm not too sure that if they know anything about it, but i'm pretty sure they do, i don't really wanna get involved with all that kind of stuff but i will be there for her when i can.

Me kissing her cheek i didn't think anything bad about it, i thought it as a nice friendly thing to do since i have seen other people do that but she has never experienced a friend kissing her cheek so that's funny i'm very glad i'm close to her, i feel like we get on very well, i have never had a friendship like this so it makes me very happy I feel like she trusts me also which i'm glad about, i trust her now and then... sometimes she jokes but it's whatever xd

I feel like i'm getting along with her parents well maybe not so much the dad, but he's fine with me, mother seems to talk to me now and then which is good and she seems to be happy with me one of her little brothers likes me hanging around which is cool i guess xD even though he can get a little bit annoying but he's a little kid, i can understand they just want attention.

I'm thinking maybe if getting her a present for Christmas i'll have to think about it, but maybe a teddy, i have a dog teddy that i sleep with and i'm 14 its just nice to have something to cuddle while you sleep

Tbh i know her mother is a little bit protective over her daughter but i see no problem with snapchat, so i'm sure it's okay a lot of teens and pre-teens do it in the UK so don't think some people care and i had Facebook when i was like 9 so.. yeah xD it'll be okay

Thanks again Julie

Alex
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Old November 26th, 2017, 03:13 AM   #26
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Hi @Alex0Shaw thanks for updating me.

Keep in contact cos I'm interested in this special friendship you have with her. Any probs, pm me or continue on your thread here.

My little sister who is very pretty recently turned 13. She has a 14 yo admirer, too. He makes her feel good about herself, and he's always welcome to visit. He's very mindful of her and that's a good sign, similar I expect to how your friend's parents feel.

Mums are protective; it's their natural instinct. Dads also though not always. A teddy bear would be great if you could find one that has a character. If you google up 'christmas presents for 11 year olds', you're sure to get inspiration. I've just found a fun penguin print bag for my little sis. I bet she'll love it.

The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.
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Old November 26th, 2017, 12:46 PM   #27
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

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Originally Posted by Princesa77 View Post
Hi @Alex0Shaw thanks for updating me.

Keep in contact cos I'm interested in this special friendship you have with her. Any probs, pm me or continue on your thread here.

My little sister who is very pretty recently turned 13. She has a 14 yo admirer, too. He makes her feel good about herself, and he's always welcome to visit. He's very mindful of her and that's a good sign, similar I expect to how your friend's parents feel.

Mums are protective; it's their natural instinct. Dads also though not always. A teddy bear would be great if you could find one that has a character. If you google up 'christmas presents for 11 year olds', you're sure to get inspiration. I've just found a fun penguin print bag for my little sis. I bet she'll love it.
Yeah sure I can do that
Hopefully me and her stay friends for awhile don't know what it's gonna be like when shes a teen, eh some can be okay anyways
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Old November 26th, 2017, 12:50 PM   #28
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

well, it doesn't really sound like a big deal to me, so I shouldn't worry too much about it
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Old November 29th, 2017, 05:21 PM   #29
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Sounds like you are both just being friendly
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Old January 18th, 2018, 11:47 AM   #30
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex0Shaw View Post
So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange.

- Alex
It’s fine... you can have female friends without them being girlfriends
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Old January 19th, 2018, 05:03 AM   #31
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex0Shaw View Post
So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange.

- Alex
Reading your replies to this thread, it seems like you both already know that you are just friends and nothing more. There's no wrong with cuddling or putting your head on her shoulders, especially if you are that close. I do it sometimes with my very close cousins and my close friends. Her parents doesn't mind this as well.

Maybe you are feeling off about this because you are just overwhelmed about how quick things go by since you just met her a few weeks ago. Just enjoy being friends with her and let things flow, and whenever you feel uncomfortable about how things go, you should talk to her.



it's ya boi artful
i'd like to talk n' stuff

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Old January 21st, 2018, 04:14 AM   #32
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

Maybe she has a little crush on you but as u said just handle it
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Old January 22nd, 2018, 06:08 PM   #33
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Default Re: need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

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Reading your replies to this thread, it seems like you both already know that you are just friends and nothing more. There's no wrong with cuddling or putting your head on her shoulders, especially if you are that close. I do it sometimes with my very close cousins and my close friends. Her parents doesn't mind this as well.

Maybe you are feeling off about this because you are just overwhelmed about how quick things go by since you just met her a few weeks ago. Just enjoy being friends with her and let things flow, and whenever you feel uncomfortable about how things go, you should talk to her.
Well recently things have been different we like to treat each,other as brother and sister now, maybe cause i'm always there for her, always see her so often, and whenever i feel anxious or upset about something sometimes i go to her mother i message her, she says i can always talk to her if I'm ever feeling depressed or something like that, so basically she's like a second mother even though most of the things i say to her i probs wouldn't say to my mum since i never really like to express my feelings unless i feel like if i don't, i would probs do something bad..

it hasn't been just cuddling, it has moved on to kissing her on the cheek and head to kissing her on the lips, nothing sexual about it, just sibling love, even though we aren't biologically siblings.

But yeah I'm pretty overwhelmed since i never had this kind of relationship with anyone in my life i don't think so this is new to me, but yeah things are going okay now i just feel like when I'm with her we don't talk as much since i don't know what to say since I'm bad at socializing.

thanks for the reply

Quote:
Originally Posted by skittlesh View Post
Maybe she has a little crush on you but as u said just handle it
Um maybe as a big brother now since recently i haven't noticed any kind of signs of her crushing, don't think i would be able to tell xD Thanks for the reply, but yeah i think i got it handled just find it hard sometimes
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