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Old November 12th, 2017, 05:30 AM   #1
EthanK
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Exclamation Kinda have a problem.

Ok so i recently got a gf, she is really nice, smart and kind but her bestfriend also likes me. Now here comes the problem. I go to a christian school ( i am not christian that much. Like i beleive in god and everything but think that lgbt+ is good. And dont pray all the time) so anyways i started dating her and this is my 5th gf ( and im 13 ) and suddenly everything has changed. I dont know what too say without being weird, and i am also not as satistfied by it as i thought i would be. I am also bicurious and dont know what to do. Now i also have body issues and get depressed really easily ( not just coz of my body ) and IT GETS REAL BAD. so please could you answer these questions.

Should i break up with her?

Should i wait before my next gf?

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and dont tell her?

What do i do too not get depressed?

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off?


Thanks for your help
-Ethan

My name is Ethan and im 14. I am here to make friends and chat. Shoot me a message.
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Old November 12th, 2017, 07:48 AM   #2
cfg427
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanK View Post
Ok so i recently got a gf, she is really nice, smart and kind but her bestfriend also likes me. Now here comes the problem. I go to a christian school ( i am not christian that much. Like i beleive in god and everything but think that lgbt+ is good. And dont pray all the time) so anyways i started dating her and this is my 5th gf ( and im 13 ) and suddenly everything has changed. I dont know what too say without being weird, and i am also not as satistfied by it as i thought i would be. I am also bicurious and dont know what to do. Now i also have body issues and get depressed really easily ( not just coz of my body ) and IT GETS REAL BAD. so please could you answer these questions.

Should i break up with her?

If you feel that being with her has had a negative impact on your life, then it might be for the best. Youíve said youíve had other girlfriends and so if you didnít feel this way with the others then you know she is the reason.


Should i wait before my next gf?
You donít have to, but if you feel that you need a break to take more time to figure out yourself than go ahead. Just donít go out with her bestfriend that likes you.

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and dont tell her?
I doubt that youíre gay, just because youíve said youíve had many girlfriends. And if youíve jerked off and watch porn and you like the girls on there thatís not changing. You could be bi, and you should tell her either way ( gay or bi) but being bi wouldnít really effect your relationship with her because you still like girls and you still like her.

What do i do too not get depressed?
Wish I could help you here but idk what to do haha

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off?
I had the same problem. I didnít like taking my shirt off to go in the pool and
At the beach. I eventually realized, that you look more stupid wearing a shirt then your body would ever make you look. And to become more okay with
Taking your shirt off you just have to do it. At least thatís what worked for me. Now I donít care about taking my shirt off at all.

Thanks for your help
-Ethan

I think I messed up and typed in the quote even tho I wasnít
Supposed to. Haha hopefully it shows up
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Old November 12th, 2017, 11:53 AM   #3
scott2002
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanK View Post
... and this is my 5th gf ( and im 13 )
-Ethan
Whoa! Whoa!! You're 13 years old and this is your FIFTH girlfriend???
I got some news for you. At 13 you are not nearly emotionally mature enough to have even ONE "girlfriend" yet. A girlfriend is different that a friend that happens to be a girl. That's okay.
My advice is to SLOW DOWN. Have friends that are girls, but wait at least another year or two before thinking about an official girlfriend.
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Old November 12th, 2017, 01:00 PM   #4
ska8er
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Ur a ladies man-Huh Bro?
Before u start getting all the girls in ur
school into a harem u have to pick one
girl at a time and give her ur utmost
attention and then maybe u will b able
to keep her. At 13 ur going thru a lot of
different feelings. Its too early for u to
know what ur orientation u r if u have to
ask. Don't worry bout that now. As for ur
body issues again at 13 ur going through
a lot of changes. Others r going thru the
same thing so u r not alone. If u have to
take ur shirt off just do it and then after
awhile it wont matter and u will get used
to it. If the girls like u then I'm sure they
don't really care bout ur body.
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Old November 12th, 2017, 02:50 PM   #5
zzzzzzzzzz
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanK View Post
Ok so i recently got a gf, she is really nice, smart and kind but her bestfriend also likes me. Now here comes the problem. I go to a christian school ( i am not christian that much. Like i beleive in god and everything but think that lgbt+ is good. And dont pray all the time) so anyways i started dating her and this is my 5th gf ( and im 13 ) and suddenly everything has changed. I dont know what too say without being weird, and i am also not as satistfied by it as i thought i would be. I am also bicurious and dont know what to do. Now i also have body issues and get depressed really easily ( not just coz of my body ) and IT GETS REAL BAD. so please could you answer these questions.

Should i break up with her?

Should i wait before my next gf?

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and dont tell her?

What do i do too not get depressed?

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off?


Thanks for your help
-Ethan
Quote:
Originally Posted by scott2002 View Post
Whoa! Whoa!! You're 13 years old and this is your FIFTH girlfriend???
I got some news for you. At 13 you are not nearly emotionally mature enough to have even ONE "girlfriend" yet. A girlfriend is different that a friend that happens to be a girl. That's okay.
My advice is to SLOW DOWN. Have friends that are girls, but wait at least another year or two before thinking about an official girlfriend.
Agreed with Scott. At 13 you are way over analysing everything. get to know the girls better, keep them as good friends. GFs should not be something you change every few weeks. You sound worried about your own feeling and body too. Don't be. Take time to find yourself too. If you can be happy in yourself you will be able to connet with girls that you partner up with
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Old November 12th, 2017, 04:01 PM   #6
hesaidhesaid
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanK View Post
Ok so i recently got a gf, she is really nice, smart and kind but her bestfriend also likes me. Now here comes the problem. I go to a christian school ( i am not christian that much. Like i beleive in god and everything but think that lgbt+ is good. And dont pray all the time) so anyways i started dating her and this is my 5th gf ( and im 13 ) and suddenly everything has changed. I dont know what too say without being weird, and i am also not as satistfied by it as i thought i would be. I am also bicurious and dont know what to do. Now i also have body issues and get depressed really easily ( not just coz of my body ) and IT GETS REAL BAD. so please could you answer these questions.

Should i break up with her?

Should i wait before my next gf?

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and dont tell her?

What do i do too not get depressed?

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off?


Thanks for your help
-Ethan
Firstly, calm the heck down. 13 and 5th girlfriend? That's normally a cue that you're just a 'yes man' - and I can tell you from friends who are like this that it NEVER pays off in the end. So chill, and live.

If you turn out to be bi or gay or whatever, you have a responsibility to tell her. She has a right to know. As for not being depressed, don't worry - time and experience will tell whether you are one or the other. You just need to focus on what's ahead of you.

Body issues are normal at that age - I mean, right about now (and I mean starting at 13, not having a fifth girlfriend at 13), boys do start to look at girls and think "gee, I'd ask her out etc. etc." If you're really concerned, take a more active lifestyle - and don't be worried about the little things. If you really want something, hard work and persistence will only pay off.

That's a long advice copy, but the issues here are plentiful. Good luck.

Writer, Phone Photographer, Funny after I've had my morning coffee.

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Old November 12th, 2017, 05:31 PM   #7
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Should i break up with her? Yes if you don't really care for her.

Should i wait before my next gf? Yes you are only 13 and have your whole life ahead of you.

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and don't tell her? Well first you need to know what your sexuality is. Then decide.

What do i do too not get depressed? Life has it's ups and downs. Learn to deal with them.

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off? Well again you are only 13. Your body will change dramatically in the next 5 years so you will probably be happier with it down the road.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old November 12th, 2017, 06:08 PM   #8
bojack
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scott2002 View Post
Whoa! Whoa!! You're 13 years old and this is your FIFTH girlfriend???
I got some news for you. At 13 you are not nearly emotionally mature enough to have even ONE "girlfriend" yet. A girlfriend is different that a friend that happens to be a girl. That's okay.
My advice is to SLOW DOWN. Have friends that are girls, but wait at least another year or two before thinking about an official girlfriend.

Definitely this. At 13 any relationship you have isn't going to be anywhere close to an actual adult (or late teen) relationship. Taking a break could help for sure, to just give you time to mature and come into your own

Open to talk about anything anytime. huge nerd/really into video games and music. bi-curious. feel free to hit me up whenever
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Old November 13th, 2017, 01:07 AM   #9
nebula
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Puberty for Boys Relationships and Dating

This is better suited here.

nebula ~ help and advice moderator


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*Mars was here*
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Old November 13th, 2017, 01:48 PM   #10
Just JT
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Should i break up with her?

Why are you thinking about breaking up? If you like her and enjoy her company, no, but if your in this with her just for sex or the wrong reasons then yes, cause thatís not right

Should i wait before my next Gf?

For what? Another girl friend? Dude, slow down. Youíve had more girlfriends than Iíve had winter boots bro....

What do i do if i do turn out to be bi or gay and dont tell her?

What if? Nothing, if you end up bi or gay then thatís what you are. Donít rush identifying with any sexuality now. Your way to young and may be years before you can define that completely for yourself

What do i do too not get depressed?

Some people talk to supportive friends or family. Some people use a counselor or therapist. Depends on the person. Perhaps you should talk to a professional before depressions gets a stronger hold on you.

My body issues how do i overcome them and feel okay about taking my shirt off?

What kind of body issues?
As mentioned earlier yiur still growing. Itíll be years before your body begins to level off, a.m. day then youíll begin to be able to see what youíll look like long term

Bro just relax and chilaxe a bit. Enjoy whatís in front of you now and be thankful for what you have. Things wil change in life. Nothingís forever. And all the questions you have about you.... your then only one who can really answer those for yourself. And that just takes time to figure out.

Being ok within yourself can be hard. So just try and do that first. Change what you want, and can, but also accept what you can not. Sometimes your body you just canít change, just like your sexuality. So just enjoy what you got

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Old November 15th, 2017, 12:00 AM   #11
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Kinda have a problem.

Ok. Slow down.

Lets start by talking about you. You say that you are bi-curious. At the beginning of puberty I think most guys are. Don't be so quick to label yourself. Labels, especially at 13, are not important. Do not leave her for this reason until and unless you are sure that you are not satisfied with her because she is a female.

As far as her friend goes you need to talk to the friend and say that you are not available and that and flirting needs to end immediately. If you don't, you will have left the window for you two open and you might want to cheat. Also, it is smart to take that poor girl off of your hook. If you break up with ur current gf, let a significant amount of time pass before considering dating the friend. Rebounding would do nothing other than hurt your current gf.

You haven't given a good reason to leave ur gf so I think that you should stay with her. Remember that nothing has to permanent. Good luck!


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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