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Old November 1st, 2017, 08:45 PM   #1
orangeyes
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Join Date: March 19, 2016
Location: Canada
Age: 17
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Exclamation Developing feelings for someone curious...

Hey, It is been a long while since I've posted on here... last November hahaha; my relationship problems always happens at this time of the year lol.

So, let me break this down. I've known this guy for about 6 years, we were more of acquaintances than friends before but this year our relationship is getting closer. He's a cool dude, farm boy style, It's nice to be around him. I've always suspected before that he might be Bi or even gay because of his choice of friends, or just out of instinct. For the story to make sense, let's call him Joe.

Last week, in class, Joe 'came out' to me that he's always found both girls and guys attractive which is normal but he also said that he had an romantic attraction to guys too.

The day after I went over to his house, we watched movies, played games etc. We didn't have any body contact whatsoever but we had fun.

When I went back home the same night, I texted Joe good night and he said "Hey I was actually thinking of you" I was flattered. He started to send big texts about how much he liked our evening together, even if we didn't have any romantic contact. He said that he felt so good in my company and It made him discover something he's been burying for so long, he ended up saying he MIGHT be pansexual or bi. Joe told me he found me very attractive since a long time and awhile ago when he had a girlfriend (She broke up with him) and I had a boyfriend (We broke up) and when Joe looked at me and my boyfriend he could see the happiness in our eyes and he thought it would be cool if he had a boyfriend too. He wasn't very sure about his feelings. He was confused.

Fast forward to Saturday, Joe, our friends and I went to Six Flags and we had a day full of fun and it all brought us together. We drank alcohol and we started saying all types of things... and Joe finally told the group all he told me the other day about his situation and one of our friend said "Well there's one way to find out! Try to kiss (my name here)!" He wasn't sure if he should. Suddenly, he looked at me in the eyes and we kissed. He realized that it's nothing different. The same night, my best friend made sure that Joe and I would sleep together.. so we did. During that night, he pulled my hand so we would spoon, and we had a few french kisses.

The next morning, there was no awkwardness and he acted as if nothing happened. I was confused. Later that day he texted me that he's very unsure of everything and he doesn't know if he wants to continue to have something between us. He's very confused, I can feel it.

Two days ago Joe started talking to this girl at school, but the girl doesn't seem really interested for now but he is.

How do I feel in this situation? I feel bad, confused because I suddenly appreciate someone curious, I would say. My friends said that if he just ignores these types of feelings it would resurface one day, harder than ever. What can I do to help him? Or what should I do?
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Old November 1st, 2017, 09:45 PM   #2
ska8er
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Default Re: Developing feelings for someone curious...

Hes confused. Ur friends r probably right
that his feelings will resurface one day but
for now I would say u have been friends for
a long time continue with the relationship.
The girl hes interested in has no feelings for
him so prepare that his feelings will swing to u.
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Old November 2nd, 2017, 02:01 AM   #3
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Developing feelings for someone curious...

I think that you and Joe need to have a conversation. When someone acts like they want a homosexual relationship but won't go for it I wonder if they regret coming out, they aren't ready to come out to their family, or if they don't want people in public to judge them. And that's obviously very unfortunate as everyone should be proud of who they are even if they are a minority.

Don't force him or give him an ultimatum. Just talk to him and if he needs time to think give it to him.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old November 2nd, 2017, 05:01 AM   #4
azurzg
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Default Re: Developing feelings for someone curious...

Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeyes View Post
What can I do to help him? Or what should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewLeafsFan View Post
I think that you and Joe need to have a conversation. Don't force him or give him an ultimatum. Just talk to him and if he needs time to think give it to him.

I agree. I think you and Joe need to have a proper conversation. The important thing; however, is that do not pressure him nor make him feel like you have predefined expectations. Relax and just have a proper, honest conversation. Give him time to express his feelings, his fears and his wishes. Then, you do the same, share how you feel. Be honest and direct about it, and do not make him feel guilty about his choices.

Last edited by azurzg; November 2nd, 2017 at 05:05 AM.
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Old November 2nd, 2017, 11:13 AM   #5
mick01
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Default Re: Developing feelings for someone curious...

Like the others have said, I think you should support him as his friend. But I would also suggest, for the sake of your feelings, that you tell him that the two of you are just friends and that no relationship is possible for the foreseeable future. In my opinion, he's so unsure of himself right now, and you shouldn't get hurt.
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