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Old December 9th, 2017, 12:28 AM   #1
Aquamrine
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Old December 9th, 2017, 12:43 AM   #2
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

How old are you?
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Old December 9th, 2017, 02:06 AM   #3
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

What is the abuse you are takling about.

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Old December 9th, 2017, 02:39 AM   #4
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Old December 9th, 2017, 02:41 AM   #5
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Old December 9th, 2017, 03:00 AM   #6
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

I think a boy getting an erection is something he can control probably but I don't know about massaging. I wouldn't want a boy to see me naked but maybe it's normal in other countries. It just sounds as if they are different in that country and I don't think it sounds like abuse.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 03:14 AM   #7
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Old December 9th, 2017, 03:34 AM   #8
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquamrine View Post
I don't know much about erections. Maybe they cannot control it when it's warm around in sauna.
I don't know anything about them but when my cousin got one after we went swimming he tried to hide it so I guess he was embarrassed by it lol
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Old December 9th, 2017, 05:33 AM   #9
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

@auqamrine are you from Germany too or where? When you were talking about sauna I thought maybe they were from Finland or Norway or somewhere where sauna is VERY popular. But I bet it's somewhat popular in many European countries.

Anyway it definitely doesn't sound like abuse that you described. You didn't mention anybody was forced to do anything they didn't want to do. I bet this stuff happens a ton in Europe. I have done naked sauna with my dad (used towells tho). I have hot tubbed naked with my brother and sisters. My sisters have seen me hard. Only weird thing is your cousin giving his sister a massage naked while he had a boner. But that could just mean that they are comfortable with nudity and know that erections can happen almost anytime for almost any reason. Boys typically try to hide erections for two reasons: in US (and most places where modesty is the norm) it's embarrassing to have boners. Also whether you're modest or not it's usually considered polite to hide boners (but among family, politeness may not be important). In other words getting hard in shorts at the pool may make you hide your boner. But getting hard naked you can't really hide it lol. All you can do is cover with towell or excuse yourself.

Finally it's not impolite to turn down a massage. That's always your right.

You never mentioned how you felt? Did you like the naked sauna or hate it or somewhere in between?

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Old December 9th, 2017, 06:34 AM   #10
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Old December 9th, 2017, 07:03 AM   #11
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

Attitudes to nudity do vary a lot. They vary from one country to another with the Scandinavians being known to be especially open about nudity. I also remember going to Holland on a holiday and some girls and women were topless on the beach. It wasn't a nude beach, it is just that they don't see being topless as a big deal there while here in the UK you would never see that.

It is also something that varies from one family to another. A friend of mine thinks nothing of using the bathroom to pee while his sister is in there showering or vice versa. Other friends wouldn't want to be seen by their sister even undressed down to their underwear.

So there isn't really any right or wrong about nudity it is just a case of what you are comfortable with.

Where it becomes abuse is when someone touches someone else in a sexual way without consent, or when an adult touches a child in a sexual way because children are considered too young to consent, particularly as they may feel coerced. Massage doesn't have to be sexual, though obviously it can be, so it depends on the massage.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 09:51 AM   #12
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermes View Post
Attitudes to nudity do vary a lot. They vary from one country to another with the Scandinavians being known to be especially open about nudity. I also remember going to Holland on a holiday and some girls and women were topless on the beach. It wasn't a nude beach, it is just that they don't see being topless as a big deal there while here in the UK you would never see that.

It is also something that varies from one family to another. A friend of mine thinks nothing of using the bathroom to pee while his sister is in there showering or vice versa. Other friends wouldn't want to be seen by their sister even undressed down to their underwear.

So there isn't really any right or wrong about nudity it is just a case of what you are comfortable with.

Where it becomes abuse is when someone touches someone else in a sexual way without consent, or when an adult touches a child in a sexual way because children are considered too young to consent, particularly as they may feel coerced. Massage doesn't have to be sexual, though obviously it can be, so it depends on the massage.
Well said Hermes....nudity is nothing to be ashamed of and in different cultures or even in different families in the same culture it is perfectly acceptable...My brothers and I are always naked together in our area of the house and it just seems natural for us..Abuse as Hermes said abuse is something that isn't consensual or between an adult/child ... as far as as s 14 year old boy having an erection in a warm sauna with other people there that too is not uncommon...even if it were all boys there it probably can happen just do to the fact that they were naked and in the sauna......I love massages and my brothers and I do massage each other...yes naked...but it is nothing sexual...just very relaxing....

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Old December 9th, 2017, 10:04 AM   #13
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Old December 9th, 2017, 10:56 AM   #14
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

As long as nobody gets forced to do something, I wouldn't call it abuse.
If you don't feel comfortable with what they seem to regularly do, then you can simply say No. That's totally fine.
Everyone feels differently about things, and nobody should be forced to do anything they don't want to do.

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Old December 9th, 2017, 12:46 PM   #15
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

I think that it's just a natural normal thing for the family to do. They were brought up that way just as a family who are nudists it's perfectly normal for them to be naked around each other and they don't think anything about it. They aren't modest or ashamed of their bodies and it's just a normal part of their lives. There is no way this is abuse and I suppose you could say that they are open minded about their lifestyle.

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Old December 9th, 2017, 03:14 PM   #16
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

I see no abuse here. The people in the sauna were simply following the family's routine. No one got out of line. If a parent took his/her daughters to a nude beach where some young boys get boners, that is not abuse. Perhaps it is if daughters get very upset.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 06:58 PM   #17
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquamrine View Post
So you guys think it's just ok when a boy has erection in front of a girl. But I think there is something sexual about this.

That 16 yo girl said that once she was massaging her brother while he was lying facedown; and after he stood up she found white stuff on a bench. It was sperm, evidentially. He had ejaculation. Is it OK?
Did the girl forced him to ejaculate?

There is no harm in asking.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 08:46 PM   #18
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

Like everyone said, definitely not abuse since nobody forced anybody to do anything. Everything sounds pretty typical for an open minded European family. I would be up for all of it. Imo the massage was too much but just imo. But still not wrong. Its just that I personally get hard when ANYBODY gives me a massage. Gf has, both sisters, 2 female professionals at my gym, even my dad im afraid to say. It's not necessarily sexual. But if you massage my upper legs im gonna get hard. Especislly if you touch my junk on accident massaging my legs. And the white stuff was probably pre cum and probably a bit of real cum. If you massage a boy who is hard long enough, eventually he will cum.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 09:23 PM   #19
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

i guess as long as there is not sexual contact it is ok.

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Old December 9th, 2017, 11:24 PM   #20
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Default Re: Open-mindedness or abuse?

I don't see how this is abuse.

I think that you are concerned about the boy massaging his sister while he was erect. At his age, erections happen often and randomly. It was probably not because of some type of incestual attraction. And obviously the girl wasn't bothered by it.

And you were not obligated to accept his massage. Since it clearly bothered you I don't think that you should sauna with them again. At least not until you have become more open minded or the boy becomes a bit more mature and in control of his erections.


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