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Old December 27th, 2017, 07:51 PM   #1
Caver
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Default Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

So I moved to university 3 months ago, 5 hours away from home. I love living in the city, and the freedom but I'm very lonely. I haven't met any friends and as a result I don't do anything at weekends or on my days off other than sit in my room on my laptop or sleeping. I have virtually no friends at home I can talk to either and it's just making me feel really lonely and isolated. Also, I can't help but compare myself to other people whether it's because they're thin, or the girls my age who are engaged, or at least in a relationship, or even have a child. I'm questioning my own existence atm because I have nothing to look forward to or nobody to see and have a conversation with and it's just making me feel super shit.

18 | London | Straight | Feel free to pm me!
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Old December 28th, 2017, 01:45 AM   #2
Sevun
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

Hi there.
It sounds pretty hard, hey? I'm still 15, so I can't say that I've been to uni and I can't say that I know everything and I can't say that everything for certain will be okay. But I just want to say that Virtual Teen is here for you. There are so many amazing supportive people here, and maybe you'll be able to meet up with one of the UK members on the forum.
Have you considered applying for clubs, or going to campus pubs, or trying to do an activity like sports you're interested in? Do you like gaming? I'm sure there are over 100 people just like you at your university! All it takes is just a little bit of courage to reach out! You can find someone who takes the same classes as you perhaps
I have the same problem when it comes to comparing, so I may not be very helpful. But my good friend once said that it's no use comparing their strengths to your weaknesses, however in this case, being engaged/in a relationship/a mother doesn't necessarily they are better than you! It just means you are waiting for the right one to come along, or maybe you want to focus on your uni course more
Also, be proud of your body! Society says so many stupid things and sticking to a body type is exactly that!
Have you tried talking to the campus counsellor or a psychologist?

I'm suffering my quarter-life crisis 10 years premature but hopefully I'll find a way and be ok. Don't be afraid to chat, I'm open to every experience and opinion!
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Old December 28th, 2017, 09:34 PM   #3
Juliarules832
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

It is hard for everyone but you can do it. Message me if you ever want someone to talk to.

13 year old girl from Massachusetts. Feel free to message me about anything!
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Old December 29th, 2017, 01:19 PM   #4
Dimentio
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

When i was in college no one spoke to me for my first year or so, and i recently had a friend go to Uni and it too her a fair while to get friends too, it's only within the first 3 months, don't be too hard on yourself okay? Experiencing it myself, i know how miserable and lonely it can feel, and i am guessing you're not the most comfortable really going out there, so just sorta break the ice with course work, ask questions about it, see if people have answers, talk to them through that and things can build

Also, please never compare yourself to others, a different example but one way people do this is with art, people always compare their art to others and think they're not good as in their eyes it's not as good, but one thing i always like to say is, people come from different backgrounds, start at different points, have different mediums, styles, equipment, views, mindsets, everything, and art is yes, subjective, it may not be as good to you as you don't have things you desire, but to others your life is an object of desire because you have things they don't have yet want

The fact that you're in Uni, that is great! It means you did well in school/college, and you have the intelligence and personal willpower and strength to go to and make it through Uni and that is amazing and you should be proud of that!
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Old December 29th, 2017, 01:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

Moving away is always a big step, so you're definitely not alone when you're feeling this way. Why don't you try to go to some groups/societies at your uni? That will be a great way to meet people with similar interests to you, and to make new friends.




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Old January 4th, 2018, 11:47 AM   #6
gdude
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

Never question yourself, wherever you are is for a reason Anna its you that chooses too make it a good or a bad reason
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Old January 8th, 2018, 07:42 AM   #7
AussieNicholas
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caver View Post
So I moved to university 3 months ago, 5 hours away from home. I love living in the city, and the freedom but I'm very lonely. I haven't met any friends and as a result I don't do anything at weekends or on my days off other than sit in my room on my laptop or sleeping. I have virtually no friends at home I can talk to either and it's just making me feel really lonely and isolated. Also, I can't help but compare myself to other people whether it's because they're thin, or the girls my age who are engaged, or at least in a relationship, or even have a child. I'm questioning my own existence atm because I have nothing to look forward to or nobody to see and have a conversation with and it's just making me feel super shit.
I'm the same age as yourself, although I'm still finishing high school. I completely get the loneliness that you're talking about. I tend to enjoy my own company a lot but a lot of times I do feel lonely. It can be really hard to find the motivation to do anything when you're feeling this way. As someone who's in a similar position to you, here's what I can offer:

Try to just stop caring about how you measure up to people around you. It might be a difficult thing to do, but it's something that I know I should do. Not everyone has a relationship at our age (I certainly don't and the same is true for a lot of people who are 18 at my school). Plenty of people just find the right person late, so don't worry about having a relationship now because it's better not to rush into a relationship that might not work out.

I would also suggest looking at your hobbies as well. Have a look for some new passions if you don't have much to do, because you'll find that there's an entire community that has the same interests as you. Seek out those people either online or in person.

I'll finish up by saying that even though I'm the same age as you and also have to deal with stress and loneliness, I'm still in high school and I don't have to support myself yet, so I'm sure what you're dealing with is much more difficult. I'm always happy to talk, so feel free to message me whenever you like.

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Old January 16th, 2018, 02:31 AM   #8
Anthony17
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimentio View Post
When i was in college no one spoke to me for my first year or so, and i recently had a friend go to Uni and it too her a fair while to get friends too, it's only within the first 3 months, don't be too hard on yourself okay? Experiencing it myself, i know how miserable and lonely it can feel, and i am guessing you're not the most comfortable really going out there, so just sorta break the ice with course work, ask questions about it, see if people have answers, talk to them through that and things can build

Also, please never compare yourself to others, a different example but one way people do this is with art, people always compare their art to others and think they're not good as in their eyes it's not as good, but one thing i always like to say is, people come from different backgrounds, start at different points, have different mediums, styles, equipment, views, mindsets, everything, and art is yes, subjective, it may not be as good to you as you don't have things you desire, but to others your life is an object of desire because you have things they don't have yet want

The fact that you're in Uni, that is great! It means you did well in school/college, and you have the intelligence and personal willpower and strength to go to and make it through Uni and that is amazing and you should be proud of that!
I like your way of thinking.

"I enjoy the sun and the beauty of summer as long as I can. Who knows whether one of these days I shall not be prevented from doing it?" - Alexei Nikolaevich

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. - Anne Frank
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Old January 17th, 2018, 11:35 AM   #9
abc91
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

the good news is one you get past school and thinking thats all the life there is life gets better. the people you thought mattered didnt and its easier to move on.
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Old January 25th, 2018, 09:25 AM   #10
Danieldv77
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Default Re: Everything is getting on top of me ;_;

I can definitely relate; even at my college, I don't have much to look forward to, if only because i'm too socially awkward to form proper relations with people.
If anything, try not to focus on the isolated aspect of it; it's not really important. College isn't like high school; it's not about goofing off, making friends, or dating. College is about setting up your future, and most, in an attempt to get that degree, are less socially interactive than others as a result of this.
Mind you, that's all that I've noted from my 3 weeks at college. Answers may vary.
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