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Old September 12th, 2017, 08:12 AM   #1
virtualhuman
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Name: olivia
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Location: australia
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Unhappy Confusion!

I wasn't sure what eating disorder forum to put this under so, I put it under here. I hope I choose the right one, i'm sorry if I didn't!

I am a 17 year old girl. I'm 5 foot and 98 pounds. *I've never liked my weight and i've always thought I was fat.I've been told that i'm under weight ever since I was born due to the fact that I was 6 weeks early, people tell me that i'm thin, sometimes I believe them sometimes I don't. When I think i'm thin, I still want to lose some weight, when I think i'm not you know the drill. I've never forced my self to vomit. *I suffer with constipation and take laxative pills when I think i'm constipated sometimes my mother tells me i'm not when I feel like I am but take them anyway.*



All of my doctors have put on my file "to keep an eye out on my weight, eating etc" Every now and then my mother tells me i've lost a lot of weight. She also constantly tells me I have an eating disorder.*



I didn't think I had an eating disorder but since my mother keeps telling me I'm starting to think I do. I've took a lot of tests online and they've assured me that most possibly do.*

If there's food infront of me I can't help but eat it even if i'm not hungry..

Sometimes I binge eat and can't control my self, I mostly binge eat at night.

I eat when i'm bored, sad, down and depressed.



A couple days after I binge eat I go to *a low restriction diet and tell my parents i'm not hungry and sometimes skip meals.*

Some days I go through a whole day without eating or drinking and hardly eat my dinner. I forgot to eat and drink most of the time also.

I know I said I eat when i'm sad and down but I also don't eat when i'm sad or down.*



I genuinely rather eat fast food.



As you see there's really no in between. There's hardly a *day when i'm not binging or starving my self. *But, if i'm not doing either of the too I can't eat as much as I use to.



Sorry if this was confusing and long.. I couldn't make this anymore understandable then I did as this is how it is.
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Old September 12th, 2017, 09:10 AM   #2
Scarface
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Default Re: Confusion!

Well I can tell you that you're not alone. This almost sounds like body dysmorphia. Which is a lot more common than you think! Quite some years ago I had a big problem addressing an issue of 'eating or not eating' myself. I'd go a day or two without eating and the. Eat absolutely everything in sight. Some days I'd just drink water. I'd drink it fast so I'd feel full. I never thought that my body looked right. It wasn't lean enough, it wasn't thin enough. Hell I still struggle with my image in that sense, but going about it, I've changed how I react to it.

Here's the problem with eating patterns like that:
Your blood sugar rises due to lack of food in your body and your pancreas is fighting to keep your energy up and your levels right.
Your pancreas slows down. Especially if just drink. Especially drinks like energy drinks or different types of soda to keep you awake from the fatigue of not eating.
Stomach acid will start to consume the lining walls and create ulcers
Thought process will be delayed as fatigue takes over.

One of the issues I brought up is the blood sugar aspect. After so long of confusing your body. With eating or not eating. It can cause diabetes. Especially if some of your family members had it. It increases your chances of getting it as well.

Please don't feel down. I have improved, but I am a LONG way from perfect. I eat one meal a day. I eat lunch. I never feel hungry during the day and I usually consume enough at lu chr that dinner just doesn't seem that appetizing.

What doctors recommend is that you eat lots of small meals throughout the day. Such as carrots and vegetable snacks in between meals. It keeps your levels right. If you can't do that. I would strategize your meals. If you feel you need to be in control. Set a time for your meals. Everyday. That way you can plan what you're going to eat and it doesn't always have to be poor choices in food unless you let it be.

I empathize with how you feel, but I would like for you to take into consideration your body. What we do to our bodies while we're young can have lasting effects if we don't take the right actions. If you need someone to talk to. Shoot me a pm. I'll be around.

Take care

Contact me if you need to talk. I'm always here to help all
you have to do is be honest.

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Old September 13th, 2017, 02:55 PM   #3
jamie_n5
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Default Re: Confusion!

I agree very much in what @Scarface has said. I really do think before this goes on any longer that you need to see a professional that can guide you back on the right path and you can eat healthy and stay at a good weight for your size. You can do irritable damage to your body and even die from eating disorders. Please get some help now. God be with you.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old September 19th, 2017, 04:10 AM   #4
virtualhuman
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Default Re: Confusion!

Thank you both!
I'll be seeing a doctor on Thursday about this.
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Old September 19th, 2017, 09:03 PM   #5
jacob.neruda
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Default Re: Confusion!

Quote:
I suffer with constipation and take laxative pills when I think i'm constipated sometimes my mother tells me i'm not when I feel like I am but take them anyway.*
I'm not an expert with eating disorders, but I empathise. I suffer from constipation on occasion too, and here's my advice: laxatives can work, but can also have other effects that you don't want. You can always just give yourself (or get someone else to give you, if you trust them) an enema or a suppository, which doesn't take as long and is less uncomfortable.
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