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Old April 4th, 2018, 01:26 AM   #1
Alumni
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Join Date: March 25, 2018
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Default For the lost lovers.

Hey guys,

I wanted to share my experience with bad times and how the experience helped me with everything I am today.

These past couple of years have been crazy, I've seen people and things that are important to me disappear and other people replacing that lost feeling. I've had a few tragedies I had to bounce back from, and there's still some things that are going on.

I need you to know this; life isn't perfect. If it was perfect, we'd be oblivious to understanding one another and seeking out others to come together with. You're going to fall, it's going to hurt.

Anyways, let's get started.

On love;
About two years ago, I met this amazing girl. She was beautiful and smart, and for some reason, there was just that click that we had when she walked into the door. At that moment, even though I didn't know it yet, I was in love. We talked a lot, and eventually started dating.

This was all new to me. I was so lost. And nervous, gosh, looking back on it now, I was nervous with her. She made me so happy, and I hope she felt the same way. We were the same person, we both did sports and excelled at it, but still had very introverted personalities and small social circles.

About three months in, I got dumped. It sucked. It hurt. I couldn't shake it off and everyday we had to see each other once again. Your heart sinks. It sinks so far that you just want to put your head into your pillow and stay there. I missed her so much because it was something special with someone, and it was just different.

A few months later, I couldn't drop it. Things between her and I were getting lower and lower and we both hurt. Somehow, those feelings crossed again and we hurt together. We fell in love again and damn it, what a mistake that was.

It was good at first, things felt like they were finally there, but they weren't. They were only falling further apart. Things change too fast and maybe if I'd just seen that for a second, I would've held you closer, I would've tried harder, and I would've been everything that I ever wanted to be with you.

But now you're gone. And I'm still here. But I realize that the odds of you ever coming back to me are slim, you're so far away now and it's so hard to get you back with everything happening with me now.

You taught me that it's okay to be me with someone that I love. It's okay to be open. Because you'd expect that from someone else-wouldn't you? You taught me that the things in life are precious and that you should hold them closer because they don't last. Nothing ever lasts.

Life never lasts. We never last. And if that's the case, I need you to know that you are precious. Yes, you. You'll find your way, even if it's not now. And this isn't some sort of false promise, you're still learning. Perfectionism is a false ideology, you're not perfect. No one is. So don't try to be something you're not. Be honest with yourself. Accept yourself for who you are.

Because the time will come when you're in my situation, and you lose it, like I did.

Last edited by Alumni; April 5th, 2018 at 12:43 AM.
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Old April 4th, 2018, 08:27 AM   #2
Ilove318
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Age: 13
Gender: Female
Default Re: For the lost lovers.

Once I loved someone too. People say 12 is too young to really be in love, but I'm still not over him. He was new to the school and I was forced to sit with him after a few months. We had only spoken once before. Slowly, we became friends. He was very closed and even rude to lots of people, but when he was with me he would open up, and I would too. When my best friend left, he was the only one there for me, but something went horribly wrong.

Somewhere along the way, I fell for him and didn't know what to do. Slowly, we grew further apart, though we still sat so close. He would tease me, insult me in playful ways and find reasons to be with me as much as possible. Everyday I came to school wanting to see him and was heartbroken if he wasn't there.

I can't remember when or how, but we became 'enemies' since everyone was teasing us. I pretended to hate him and vice versa. Things were okay until he said 'I'll bring a knife to school.'
He had said this heaps of times before and never done anything, so I let it pass. The next day he brought one and threatened a boy who hurt him. He followed me around for the rest of the day while I pretended I didn't like it. When he stormed out of the room, the teacher sent me after him. It ended up with me holding him buy the collar to stop him from leaving: 'teacher's orders'. I didn't like what I was doing, but the moment I let go, he kicked me in my wounds (literally) and left. I was so upset. The next day was graduation from primary school. We didn't talk much.

On my last day, I wanted to tell him the truth about my feelings, but I never got to. I regret how it ended so much. I wish I had told him. I just let him slip through my fingers. To be honest, I would sacrifice nearly anything for him to be mine. He was he only thing I looked forward to. Now I have nothing.

I totally understand how you feel, and it made me feel so sad reading your story. You can always talk to me.
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Old April 9th, 2018, 06:47 PM   #3
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilove318 View Post
Once I loved someone too. People say 12 is too young to really be in love, but I'm still not over him. He was new to the school and I was forced to sit with him after a few months. We had only spoken once before. Slowly, we became friends. He was very closed and even rude to lots of people, but when he was with me he would open up, and I would too. When my best friend left, he was the only one there for me, but something went horribly wrong.

Somewhere along the way, I fell for him and didn't know what to do. Slowly, we grew further apart, though we still sat so close. He would tease me, insult me in playful ways and find reasons to be with me as much as possible. Everyday I came to school wanting to see him and was heartbroken if he wasn't there.

I can't remember when or how, but we became 'enemies' since everyone was teasing us. I pretended to hate him and vice versa. Things were okay until he said 'I'll bring a knife to school.'
He had said this heaps of times before and never done anything, so I let it pass. The next day he brought one and threatened a boy who hurt him. He followed me around for the rest of the day while I pretended I didn't like it. When he stormed out of the room, the teacher sent me after him. It ended up with me holding him buy the collar to stop him from leaving: 'teacher's orders'. I didn't like what I was doing, but the moment I let go, he kicked me in my wounds (literally) and left. I was so upset. The next day was graduation from primary school. We didn't talk much.

On my last day, I wanted to tell him the truth about my feelings, but I never got to. I regret how it ended so much. I wish I had told him. I just let him slip through my fingers. To be honest, I would sacrifice nearly anything for him to be mine. He was he only thing I looked forward to. Now I have nothing.

I totally understand how you feel, and it made me feel so sad reading your story. You can always talk to me.
Thank you so much. Really needed that.

I guess the worst part of it all is that there's so much that was left unsaid.

I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to get my head in the right places. I need to figure out how to love myself before loving someone else.
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Old April 12th, 2018, 01:57 AM   #4
Ilove318
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

No worries. I really needed to get that off my chest too. I wish you all the best! You can always talk to me.
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Old April 13th, 2018, 10:32 PM   #5
aslitherofhope
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

A truly beautiful message, thank you for sharing it with us! Glad to see you pushed through! Keep goin' bro.

Peace!
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Old June 11th, 2018, 12:02 AM   #6
Naters2000
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

Oh I can relate. (Gay story time)

I met my boyfriend a while ago, and it was just so crazy to me that I found love. We did everything together, and were the same person (like you and your old gf). To make a long story short, our parents found out after about a year and forbade us from seeing each other and talking. It’s been so long and I’m not over him. It was so crushing.

Sorry that this kind of crap happens.

Hiya everyone! Iím Nate, 14, I play classical clarinet, love hiking, and spending time with my incredible friends! Also Iím gay so thatís cool I guess. Feel free to message me!
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Old June 14th, 2018, 08:00 AM   #7
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naters2000 View Post
Oh I can relate. (Gay story time)

I met my boyfriend a while ago, and it was just so crazy to me that I found love. We did everything together, and were the same person (like you and your old gf). To make a long story short, our parents found out after about a year and forbade us from seeing each other and talking. Itís been so long and Iím not over him. It was so crushing.

Sorry that this kind of crap happens.
that sucks =(
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Old June 15th, 2018, 12:51 AM   #8
Naters2000
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

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Originally Posted by max02 View Post
that sucks =(
Thanks.

And thank goodness we're still really close friends.

Hiya everyone! Iím Nate, 14, I play classical clarinet, love hiking, and spending time with my incredible friends! Also Iím gay so thatís cool I guess. Feel free to message me!
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Old June 15th, 2018, 10:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

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Originally Posted by Naters2000 View Post
Thanks.

And thank goodness we're still really close friends.
That's good. Why did your parents forbid you from dating him?
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Old June 17th, 2018, 11:08 PM   #10
Naters2000
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Default Re: For the lost lovers.

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Originally Posted by max02 View Post
That's good. Why did your parents forbid you from dating him?
Because they're special goofnuts. They think that homosexuality is a sin.

Hiya everyone! Iím Nate, 14, I play classical clarinet, love hiking, and spending time with my incredible friends! Also Iím gay so thatís cool I guess. Feel free to message me!
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