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Old November 4th, 2017, 11:43 PM   #1
MidnightAngst
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Question Something that's been bothering me for years

Around four years ago I struggled a lot with self harm, and I trusted my best friend with my secret. During this time she encouraged me to confide in a teacher about my problem. However after I did this she started talking to me less and less, until we never really spoke again. Besides the few times we would see each other in the school hallways and she would just pretend nothing happened.
To add to this issue, another teacher in my school also found out I self harmed, as I wasn't careful enough in gym class. Since then he has confronted my friend about it, and I have no idea what she told him but he somehow got the idea that I was schizophrenic?....(I am not) This lead to the guidence councillor taking me out of his class and asking me if I was hearing voices and so on (which might I add was extremely uncomfortable to sit through) and even after three years that I have stopped self harming he still looks at me strangely and treats me differently.
I guess the whole idea of this post is that I don't exactly know what to feel, should I be mad? Upset? I don't know. However I am certain that I feel a lot of regret, as maybe I pushed all of my problems onto my friend which led her to cut ties with me? And if I didn't start self harming in the first place none of this would've happened. I just really want some sort of solution that would put my mind at rest so everything wouldn't be so awkward between my friend and my teacher. However I'm struggling to see how this is possible because I can't just randomly bring up something from years ago when my old friend has a new life and friends. Anyway I'm really sorry for the long paragraph and I would really like to hear someone's else's opinion on all of this. Thank you.

Last edited by MidnightAngst; November 5th, 2017 at 10:06 AM.
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Old November 5th, 2017, 06:06 PM   #2
Microcosm
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Default Re: Something that's been bothering me for years

Some friendships just fade. It's possible that your friend distancing herself was unrelated to your self harm. That said, the self harm could also have something to do with it. If you want to know why she stopped talking to you, the only way to know for her is to either confront her about it or ask one of her friends to ask for you.

Furthermore, it seems that the school officials are treating you differently because you are different from the other kids in the sense that you self harm. Their intention is probably to help you, but they're inadvertently ostracizing you from everyone else in the process. That is how I understood what you're saying.

Honestly, it should only be their business if you allow it to be their business, which it doesn't seem that you have. Therefore, the school is in the wrong for trying to help you when you never asked for their help given that the problem of self harm is very personal and uncomfortable to talk about. I'm sure you would much rather seek help from people of your own choosing rather than just some random school official. I think the proper procedure for this would be for the school to approach your parents about it rather than approaching you directly because your parents are closer to you and therefore more apt to help.
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Old November 6th, 2017, 05:03 PM   #3
dancedreamergirl
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Default Re: Something that's been bothering me for years

I think that sometimes when people are uncomfortable with something and don't know how to respond, they pull away. This happens a lot, unfortunately, and I'm sorry about you and your friend. Encouraging you to talk to a teacher is something a good and caring friend would do, though. My guess is that your friend probably cared about you but didn't understand or know how to respond to you, so they pulled away because they were uncomfortable. I'm sorry.
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