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Old January 27th, 2017, 06:56 PM   #1
Rhys2001
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Join Date: December 28, 2015
Location: London
Gender: Male
Thumbs down Longing for romance

So it's been a while since I was last sad about being single. It all started about two months ago when I went to this party with my two best (very very close) friends. Somehow we all ended up making out with someone (my first time), however my two best friends' experiences ended up developing into relationships. The one thing I've wanted for over 3 years.

I however was friendzoned by the girl whom I kissed... I don't blame her.

I've had this long lasting want for a relationship for an awfully long time and yet my friends manage to acquire one without effort, without even wanting one that much.

What is wrong with me? Why must I wait so long? Of course I'm very happy for my friends yet I am admittedly envious and wish I too was in their position.

Does anyone have any advice. Sometiems I just get so dark with it. When ever I see my friends kiss their gfs a cloud of self pity just covers me and I feel like any hope of me being just as happy is vertiginously insurmountable.

Please help, I just don't know what to do anymore .
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Old January 27th, 2017, 07:08 PM   #2
Babs
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Default Re: Longing for romance

There's more to life than having a girlfriend. Learn to enjoy the different phases of life, enjoy being single while you are and enjoy being in a relationship when you are in one. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Always focusing on "when am i gonna get a gf when am i gonna get a gf when am i gonna get a gf" will make you feel crazy. Focus on the journey, not the destination. Kick back and relax, and go with the flow. Enjoy where you are in the moment. The opportunity for change will come at the right time and if it's not here now, that's because now is not the right time.

If you can't be happy by yourself, nothing about a girlfriend will make you happy.
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Old January 28th, 2017, 06:15 PM   #3
BlackParadePixie
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Join Date: September 22, 2014
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Default Re: Longing for romance

First off, if you think your friends aren't putting any effort into it...you're wrong.
Developing a meaningful relationship takes time, effort, patience, and many other things. It rarely ever just happens with a snap of the finger.
It kinda sounds like that is what you are waiting for, for something to just happen out of thin air...and that is a mistake. You have to put yourself out there, more than just once. Rejection is going to happen...it happens to everyone. If you're not willing to put some serious effort into developing the kind of relationship you want...when you do get one, it's not going to last long.

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Old January 28th, 2017, 06:34 PM   #4
Amethyst Rose
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Default Re: Longing for romance

This is something I can relate to... it is really hard to watch all your friends with someone while you're single. But you're doing the right thing by not throwing yourself at every person who walks by just for the sake of being in a relationship. It shows you place great value on relationships. You have no reason to have self-pity, or feel that you aren't as happy as your friends. Just because they have a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't automatically make them happier, especially if they seem to effortlessly jump from person to person. I don't know about you, but long-term security beats a temporary status any day. There's someone out there for you, just be patient and when you find them you'll realize it was worth waiting for.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
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Last edited by Amethyst Rose; January 28th, 2017 at 06:40 PM.
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Old January 29th, 2017, 07:50 AM   #5
Just JT
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Default Re: Longing for romance

Dude your getting some kick ass great advise here.
I'll add this. It's work. It's not all what it seems from the outside. There's negotiations and disagreements etc. and both side WORK at resolving those things together. And somethimes you learn the person your with isn't the one for you. It takes time. But when that person comes into your life, and they come in different ways and forms, watch for it. Cause you might miss it.
It'll happen. In time. Just enjoy what you have here and now. You can still chillaxe with your beats and their gf's. But also know they'll want some alone time to. So enjoy that, and hit up some other friends to for what you wana hang and the guys you usually hang with can't. I know that sounds kinda shitty but it's reality. Kinda spread your wings a little more. Never know what that'll bring. Maybe meet someone new....
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