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Old January 16th, 2017, 02:31 AM   #1
Strawberry_Essence
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Name: Mika
Join Date: March 22, 2013
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Exclamation What you need to hear before you make the use to do drugs

Back in 2014 I posted on this site discussing some of my brief experiences with different substances. I held the belief that I was in complete control of my life and in no way would I ever become one of those people who did these things on a regular basis. Before I go on, here is the post I had made:
"I'm healthy physically and mentally. I do well in school and such. Although I am under the age, I do very occasionally drink a beer by myself because I enjoy the taste the mild side effects of drinking only one beer gives you. I have also gotten high twice and I enjoy the euphoria. As mentioned above this is a very occasional thing. Although "responsible" would be a bad choice of words considering drinking/getting high under the age isn't very responsible, I would say I drink responsibly and get high responsibly. I'm searching for an external opinion on whether or not it's okay to enjoy doing this once in a while on my one time. I well understand the risks and consequences of these actions but again I'm not abusing it. So in your opinion is it okay to want to do these things?

I'm very conscious about my future and have prestigious plans. No way in hell would I ever allow this to become habit. Never have nor will I. I have a soul and heart stronger than addiction."

I was a Sophomore in high school at the time and right off the bat you can see how naive I was being. This was something I had very genuinely believed in. I realize there may be some of you viewing this forum with the same indestructible mentality I had back then.
In this short span of not even 3 years, I have used countless numbers of drugs including cocaine, woken up in my own vomit,naked in a bed next next to a guy who had taken advantage of me, gone to sleep many many nights high or intoxicated, been mugged and abducted and so many other things that all have to do with my ties to drugs and decisions I've made as a result.
I no longer care for my past ambitions and while I have some very promising opportunities in front of me I no longer care or even want. I am very depressed and have developed a severe case of insomnia. I have grown to be dependent on substances to put me to sleep. I think about suicide often but I don't think I would ever act upon it. I graduate in less than 5 months. I should be happy. I've been accepted to some very prestigious schools and I will be moving from LA to NY. Living the dream. But I am not. I am miserable. I know why. It's because I thought I was smart and strong and could handle drugs but I was very wrong. Very Very wrong. I would not wish this upon anyone. My life just feels hopeless right now.

The purpose of this post was to in one way help me record and journal my personal experience and how I've changed as well as inform you all in the most genuine way that drugs can really fuck up your life. Whether or not this will be of any use to you I have no idea but if this can suede 1 person away from making the decision to use drugs then I have done my job.

don't know what i wanted
i have a memory back at that party, i was all over her
we didn't make out or do anything
i just remember i was lonely, i guess i am always,
it's not a problem, it's just something i got used to it
every stranger makes me feel safer
and every person seems more beautiful
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Old January 16th, 2017, 06:37 AM   #2
Just JT
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Default Re: What you need to hear before you make the use to do drugs

Thanks, I liked reading this. I've also seen first half the destruction substances can take on lives and families to. I've also used and abused drugs and booze as well. It's a temporary solution to a permenant problem in my life

I'm not powerless over them, quite the opposite actually. But it's a process.

Thank you for sharing. And I hope you find your way in tha big Apple

Voted most likely to wind up in jail
2017 VT Awards
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Old January 19th, 2017, 02:02 AM   #3
Human
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Default Re: What you need to hear before you make the use to do drugs

Hope everything gets better for you. I've realised the path I'm on recently and it's been causing me quite some stress
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Old January 19th, 2017, 07:35 AM   #4
bentheplayer
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Default Re: What you need to hear before you make the use to do drugs

We all make mistakes but some may have graver consequences. The worse thing we usually do is to overestimate ourselves and bite off more than we can handle. Really, I think doing drugs have nothing to do with being smart but more of self-control. It is all too relatable to think that we are in control and then use that "smartness" to justify that we are still in control when we are not. We think that our smartness will allow us to fully comprehend the risks and consequences when we don't really.

Anyways thanks for sharing. Hope that you will rediscover yourself and that things will be better.

We are all slaves in this new age.
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