Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old May 22nd, 2016, 07:00 PM   #1
jpcastro1959
New Member
 
Name: Joaquín
Join Date: May 22, 2016
Location: Miami
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Default It's sexual abuse?

I don't know if my problem is sexual abuse or not. I have a brother two years older than me. I can say that besides beeing my brother he's too my best friend and we share our room. Six months ago, he started to masturbate openly over his bed. I asked him if he wasn't embarrased for doing that in front of other people. He said to me that I were his own brother and that was a natural thing that everyone did. Then he came to my bed and he masturbated me and made me to masturbate him. Afterwards he come often to my bed and we make things, even blowjobs. . I told that to a priest in confession and he told me that my brother was abusing me and I must to told that to an adult in my family or, at least, speak seriously with him. But I'm afraid to lose my brother and I feel guilty because, though I don't like to make these things to him, I must confess that I like when he makes them to me; but only in the precise moment, because afterwards I feel really bad and I promise myself not allowing it again. Please, I need help.
jpcastro1959 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 22nd, 2016, 07:28 PM   #2
Drew Alex
Junior Member+
 
Name: Drew
Join Date: May 21, 2016
Location: KY
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

You didn't mention how old he is and you are. But I suspect I'm out of my depth here, so I'm not going to do any more than ask that question. Above all, I'm glad you reached out. It was a good thing to do, and that is the beginning of finding a solution. Best wishes, don't be afraid, and know you've found a supportive community here! All the best!

Age: 16
Kentucky
Drew Alex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 22nd, 2016, 07:46 PM   #3
Bmble_B
Nice Poster
 
Bmble_B's Forum Picture
 
Name: Changed my mind
Join Date: February 16, 2014
Location: Lavender Town
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Did he force you to do so? If so then it is sexual abuse, yes.


I wonder what the world would be like without cellphones.

Let's Dance In The Rain.



I'm Different :3
Bmble_B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 22nd, 2016, 08:30 PM   #4
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

The two posters above make very good points. The age difference may very well make this illegal. And if you were forced to engage in any sex act with anyone, that's abuse.

Now, it is also fairly common for brothers to experiment sexually to some degree. Some people view that as wrong, immoral, and a sin in some religions. Your guilt may be stemming from that, and confusion over you feeling that you liked it. Well, sex feels good, so yeah, I get that.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you do not like how it makes you feel after, then you should do something to stop it from happening, or come to grips with the conflict.

Either way, whatbever you do, it's a serious topic, and if your brother is abusing you, and you do not stop him, he's going to think what he's been doing is ok, will continue, and maybe do it to someone else.

Not an easy choice
Likes: (2)
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2016, 07:20 AM   #5
Dalcourt
Moderator
 
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
 
Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Being an only child I dunno about siblings doing sexual things with each other still I find it extremely wrong and weird and I don't think I'd do it if I had a sibling.

If you don't want to do it and he forces you than it is some kind of sexual abuse. It sounds as you feel bad about it, so I really would advise talk to him and your parents cuz it is something serious that won't go away by not talking and just letting it happen.
Likes: (1)
Dalcourt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2016, 04:28 PM   #6
jpcastro1959
New Member
 
Name: Joaquín
Join Date: May 22, 2016
Location: Miami
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

I'm 15 yo. Thanks for you replays. I'm determined to speak with my brother, but I don't know how I can start. When I tried to say something, he pretends not to hear me and goes away...
jpcastro1959 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2016, 06:00 PM   #7
nwtnguy
Member
 
Name: Trent
Join Date: February 22, 2015
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Don't speak to your brother. Speak to a parent
Likes: (2)
nwtnguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2016, 08:27 PM   #8
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

If he's pretending to not hear you he's ignoring you
You should ignore him
And tell someone who can do something that will make a differense
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25th, 2016, 10:37 AM   #9
Stronk Serb
Kebab Remover
 
Stronk Serb's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: November 3, 2012
Location: Serbia (FYR)
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 2
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

He is 17 and you are 15, I think it's staturoty rape (or you he needs to be 18, someone correct me on that) since you are below the age of consent which is illegal, but it's up to you, it's rarely enforced since people doing it just don't care, on both sides. I see it as wrong, but do as you see fit. If you feel violated in any way or forced to do something, report it. Not sure if it legally counts as incest, but if you decide to press charges, know that it will cause family problems. If you enjoy it or don't mind it, don't do anything. If he pressures you after you decide to stop, report it.

Male/Serb nationalist/Centrist Authoritarian /Straight/Heliphobe
"Democracy is a dictatorship of the fools"
-Friedrich von Schiller (1759 – 1805)
VT's leading expert on Slavology and anything Slavic-related, if you have some questions of Slavic nature, just send me a VM or a PM
Stronk Serb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25th, 2016, 10:43 AM   #10
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Sounds like good advise to me, the pivotal concepts are if you like it or not
If yes, do nothing and enjoy
If no, report him
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25th, 2016, 02:28 PM   #11
Bull
Awesome Poster
 
Bull's Forum Picture
 
Name: Bill also known as Will
Join Date: May 2, 2014
Location: Homophobic Oklahoma, USA
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TJreversed View Post
Sounds like good advise to me, the pivotal concepts are if you like it or not
If yes, do nothing and enjoy
If no, report him
If he is forcing you to do things that you do not want to do then he is abusing you. If he is not forcing you, but you then feel guilty because you enjoy it, that is a whole different issue. If you really do not want to participate, then the next time he approaches you just tell him no. If he persists tell him to stop or you will tell your parents what he is doing. If you relent and participate then you must deal with your feelings: enjoyment/guilt. Though your church may teach against self gratification it is a fact of life and practiced by a majority of people within the church and out. Enjoying the feeling that accompany sexual release is natural and in no way wrong.

Treat all people in the same way you want to be treated. Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. Dismiss hate. Embrace love.
Bull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25th, 2016, 02:45 PM   #12
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

What he said
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 31st, 2016, 03:43 AM   #13
Tim987
Member
 
Join Date: May 23, 2016
Location: Earth
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

You said you like it during and thats becaue your body is getting sex and thats what your wired for and that releases pleasure but if you dont want to do it tell him upfront that you don't feel comfortable and if he starts forcing you talk to someone else about it

Oh deary me sorry
Tim987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 31st, 2016, 04:49 AM   #14
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Who are you asking?
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 2nd, 2016, 04:51 PM   #15
jpcastro1959
New Member
 
Name: Joaquín
Join Date: May 22, 2016
Location: Miami
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TJreversed View Post
Who are you asking?
Thanks everyone for your advises. Finally I talked to my brother and he replied taht he never forced to me to do anything, but if I don't wanted, it's ok for him. I felt a big releaf, but since that converastion, he hardly adress to me and he never feels like playing (basket or videogames) as we use to do. I miss him a lot.
jpcastro1959 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 2nd, 2016, 04:57 PM   #16
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

You could talk to him about it. Seems maybe he might be upset that you thought he might of hurt you or something. Communication is key to any relationship. And a brotherhood/friendship is one you'll always have. Maybe take the first step, keep the lines open...
Likes: (1)
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 2nd, 2016, 09:37 PM   #17
Dalcourt
Moderator
 
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
 
Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpcastro1959 View Post
Thanks everyone for your advises. Finally I talked to my brother and he replied taht he never forced to me to do anything, but if I don't wanted, it's ok for him. I felt a big releaf, but since that converastion, he hardly adress to me and he never feels like playing (basket or videogames) as we use to do. I miss him a lot.
Talk to him that you don't want to lose him and hang out with him as you two always did...give it some time. I'm sure it will smooth out sooner or later.
Likes: (1)
Dalcourt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 1st, 2016, 10:07 PM   #18
jamie_n5
VT Lover
 
jamie_n5's Forum Picture
 
Name: Jamie
Join Date: June 27, 2016
Location: Minnesota
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 2
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just JT View Post
The two posters above make very good points. The age difference may very well make this illegal. And if you were forced to engage in any sex act with anyone, that's abuse.

Now, it is also fairly common for brothers to experiment sexually to some degree. Some people view that as wrong, immoral, and a sin in some religions. Your guilt may be stemming from that, and confusion over you feeling that you liked it. Well, sex feels good, so yeah, I get that.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you do not like how it makes you feel after, then you should do something to stop it from happening, or come to grips with the conflict.

Either way, whatbever you do, it's a serious topic, and if your brother is abusing you, and you do not stop him, he's going to think what he's been doing is ok, will continue, and maybe do it to someone else.

Not an easy choice
This is exactly the way I feel. If you are close in age it may be more experimental.
jamie_n5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 1st, 2016, 10:23 PM   #19
Devinsoccer
Member++
 
Devinsoccer's Forum Picture
 
Name: Devin
Join Date: June 19, 2016
Location: Florida
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 9
Wink Re: It's sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpcastro1959 View Post
I don't know if my problem is sexual abuse or not. I have a brother two years older than me. I can say that besides beeing my brother he's too my best friend and we share our room. Six months ago, he started to masturbate openly over his bed. I asked him if he wasn't embarrased for doing that in front of other people. He said to me that I were his own brother and that was a natural thing that everyone did. Then he came to my bed and he masturbated me and made me to masturbate him. Afterwards he come often to my bed and we make things, even blowjobs. . I told that to a priest in confession and he told me that my brother was abusing me and I must to told that to an adult in my family or, at least, speak seriously with him. But I'm afraid to lose my brother and I feel guilty because, though I don't like to make these things to him, I must confess that I like when he makes them to me; but only in the precise moment, because afterwards I feel really bad and I promise myself not allowing it again. Please, I need help.
Yes it is abuse. Your under the age of consent, so you can't even consent to it. I would honestly do what your priest said. Ev3n though he is your brother something needs to be done, if its changing your room, then you will need to change your room. I also talke it your not gay, so that's also a problem. Your not comfortable with it so, I would tell your parents ask them to change your room. You can tell your brother that you need privacy and that's the reason for you changing your room, but you and your parents know the real reason. Honestly, just tell your parents, lot less stress on you, trust me.
Devinsoccer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6th, 2016, 10:19 AM   #20
happyandproud
New Member
 
happyandproud's Forum Picture
 
Name: wren
Join Date: June 21, 2016
Location: kent
Gender: Female
Default Re: It's sexual abuse?

if he forces you to do it then it may well be but dont report it if you dont feel comfortable.
if you dont mind doing it then thats up to you
happyandproud is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org