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Old February 13th, 2014, 12:29 AM   #1
dreamofdante
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Default Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

Since I was 15 I wanted to kill myself. The pain inside of me from my abusive childhood and terrible teenage years just culminated in me wanting to stop. I'm 18 now and never could go through with anything because the only way of suicide I want is from a gun. Quick and painless. I've noticed that the people I talk to seemingly pretend to care about what I'm talking about or the conversation in general as if it's a chore to talk to me. Or if I'm down and out and need someone there for me, it's like it's too much. Or I'm too overly negative. I can't see my life going anywhere at this point. I'll never meet a girl or have kids. I'm too ugly and unlovable for that. My job skills are slim to nothing. I just don't know anymore. Do any of you have any advice as to what I should do here?
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Old February 13th, 2014, 12:40 AM   #2
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

Well first off you have to accept your life for what it is. Period.
You can dwell on what you dont have that you want.
You can think about what you dont have that you do not want.
Its all really a matter of personal perspective.
I certainly do not have a life most people would want since i am autistic,
intellectually disabled and have motor skills dysfunction including speech.
But i feel i got a better deal than my friend who is a C5 quadriplegic.
One of the things he is most thankful for is that he does not need a respirator.
Can you imagine that?
That does not make personal pain any less significant, but it goes towards how
you can look at things in your life. You and I actually have a lot to be thankful
for, and do actually have a life that is worth living based on what little we do
have which is substantially lacking in the lives of others.

Last edited by ksdnfkfr; February 13th, 2014 at 12:51 AM.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 12:45 AM   #3
dreamofdante
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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Originally Posted by kashmir View Post
Well first off you have to accept your life for what it is. Period.
You can dwell on what you dont have that you want.
You can think about what you dont have that you do not want.
Its all really a matter of personal perspective.
I certainly do not have a life most people would want since i am autistic,
intellectually disabled and have motor skills dysfunction including speech.
But i feel i got a better deal than my friend who is a C5 quadriplegic.
One of the things he is most thankful for is that he does not need a respirator.
Can you imagine that?
That does not make personal pain any less significant, but it goes towards how
you can look at things in your life.
No matter what I say here, I hope you know I have compassion for what you've been through. I'm just saying that how can there be value in my life if I'll never do anything with it? You know?
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:09 AM   #4
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

You just need to change your view on life. You're right, you aren't going anywhere right now. Doesn't that make you at least want to give it a shot? There's no harm in trying, and you'll be happy that you did. Start working out, it makes you a lot happier and you'll feel better about yourself. Also, try to lose the negativity. I'm guessing that if people really don't want to talk to you, it's because of the constant negativity. We can all tell you this multiple times on here like we have, but it's up to you to make a change man. Good luck


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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:11 AM   #5
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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Originally Posted by jack1995 View Post
No matter what I say here, I hope you know I have compassion for what you've been through. I'm just saying that how can there be value in my life if I'll never do anything with it? You know?
Thanks and what im trying to get across is that when i say i know how you feel, i really do know how you feel rather than just saying that. You really have no idea of what you will do with your life or how it will go. But i think you can enjoy your life as is to a degree if you let yourself. Lots of guys get married and then end up divorced and having to pay child support on a couple of kids who love their stepdad more. Personally id rather stay
unmarried my life than that.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:11 AM   #6
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You just need to change your view on life. You're right, you aren't going anywhere right now. Doesn't that make you at least want to give it a shot? There's no harm in trying, and you'll be happy that you did. Start working out, it makes you a lot happier and you'll feel better about yourself. Also, try to lose the negativity. I'm guessing that if people really don't want to talk to you, it's because of the constant negativity. We can all tell you this multiple times on here like we have, but it's up to you to make a change man. Good luck
I hope you can understand that I'm negative because nothing positive ever happens in my life. If I had people in my life who supported me and helped me get through things, I might be okay but I feel like even then, no one gives a shit about me. And some things can be deemed negative but it's simply because I can't do the things that are asked of me...

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Thanks and what im trying to get across is that when i say i know how you feel, i really do know how you feel rather than just saying that. You really have no idea of what you will do with your life or how it will go. But i think you can enjoy your life as is to a degree if you let yourself. Lots of guys get married and then end up divorced and having to pay child support on a couple of kids who love their stepdad more. Personally id rather stay
unmarried my life than that.
Yeah I know what you mean. Ever since I was a kid though I wanted to be a happy family man with kids and a decent enough job. It's so average for people yet it's like I'm meant to never have it.

Last edited by Living For Love; February 13th, 2014 at 06:57 AM.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:16 AM   #7
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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I hope you can understand that I'm negative because nothing positive ever happens in my life. If I had people in my life who supported me and helped me get through things, I might be okay but I feel like even then, no one gives a shit about me. And some things can be deemed negative but it's simply because I can't do the things that are asked of me...
Fuck everyone then! You don't need them. Just do you. Forget about trying to please anyone or be with anyone until you're happy with yourself. Pick up a hobby, start lifting weights, play video games and meet people online. Anything! You really don't need to live up to anyone's expectations except your own


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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:20 AM   #8
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Fuck everyone then! You don't need them. Just do you. Forget about trying to please anyone or be with anyone until you're happy with yourself. Pick up a hobby, start lifting weights, play video games and meet people online. Anything! You really don't need to live up to anyone's expectations except your own
I'm trying to meet people through here and it seems I get ignored after a while. I would like to meet people I could be a consistent friend with but they stop talking or it gets too hellish. I play video games now as it is because I don't have much else to do. I write and I'm trying to make films if that'll work. I just don't know. My future is looking bleak. I would never want to get to the point of being homeless.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:24 AM   #9
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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Originally Posted by jack1995 View Post
I'm trying to meet people through here and it seems I get ignored after a while. I would like to meet people I could be a consistent friend with but they stop talking or it gets too hellish. I play video games now as it is because I don't have much else to do. I write and I'm trying to make films if that'll work. I just don't know. My future is looking bleak. I would never want to get to the point of being homeless.
Honestly, you need to not be negative around people. Just stop, and they'll talk to you. And it's good that you've found things to do. Find more and stop worrying about people. You won't be homeless either. You can find a low end job thatll pay for an apartment


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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:25 AM   #10
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Honestly, you need to not be negative around people. Just stop, and they'll talk to you. And it's good that you've found things to do. Find more and stop worrying about people. You won't be homeless either. You can find a low end job thatll pay for an apartment
I'm one of those guys who always wanted to find some kind of way to make a real difference and I don't know if I'll ever do that. I feel so meaningless. I don't know if that means I'm having an existential crisis or not.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:27 AM   #11
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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Yeah I know what you mean. Ever since I was a kid though I wanted to be a happy family man with kids and a decent enough job. It's so average for people yet it's like I'm meant to never have it.
How many people have a family and a career at 18 though? I mean if you were 28 or 38 that would be one thing. But you have not even started in life from being a kid yet. You have already condemned yourself as a failure for life before even getting started.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:29 AM   #12
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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I'm one of those guys who always wanted to find some kind of way to make a real difference and I don't know if I'll ever do that. I feel so meaningless. I don't know if that means I'm having an existential crisis or not.
I don't know what to tell you dude. You trash whatever people tell you when they try to help and wallow in self pity. Honestly, it's going to get you nowhere. You have to do this on your own and stop caring about how life will turn out, and just live it. It'll all work out


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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:30 AM   #13
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How many people have a family and a career at 18 though? I mean if you were 28 or 38 that would be one thing. But you have not even started in life from being a kid yet. You have already condemned yourself as a failure for life before even getting started.
Yeah I know. It's pretty sad but that's how it is. No girl has ever wanted me and they never will. They all reject me or leave me because they never liked me so it'll never happen. I'm 18 and I haven't kissed anyone either and it's not like a girl I know has a crush on me. That's never been the case. And when I'm 28 and if I'm still alone like this, God man I wouldn't see what the point is. No family...That's just...That's harsh.

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I don't know what to tell you dude. You trash whatever people tell you when they try to help and wallow in self pity. Honestly, it's going to get you nowhere. You have to do this on your own and stop caring about how life will turn out, and just live it. It'll all work out
Thanks for trying to help me man...
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:32 AM   #14
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Yeah I know. It's pretty sad but that's how it is. No girl has ever wanted me and they never will. They all reject me or leave me because they never liked me so it'll never happen. I'm 18 and I haven't kissed anyone either and it's not like a girl I know has a crush on me. That's never been the case. And when I'm 28 and if I'm still alone like this, God man I wouldn't see what the point is. No family...That's just...That's harsh.



Thanks for trying to help me man...
I've never kissed anyone either. I'm just as inexperienced as you are, but I'm not worried about it. Start working out. Seriously. It helps


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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:38 AM   #15
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I've never kissed anyone either. I'm just as inexperienced as you are, but I'm not worried about it. Start working out. Seriously. It helps
I'm supposedly getting exercise equipment soon. I don't know.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:47 AM   #16
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Default Re: Everyone pretends to care...No one really does

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Yeah I know. It's pretty sad but that's how it is. No girl has ever wanted me and they never will. They all reject me or leave me because they never liked me so it'll never happen. I'm 18 and I haven't kissed anyone either and it's not like a girl I know has a crush on me. That's never been the case. And when I'm 28 and if I'm still alone like this, God man I wouldn't see what the point is. No family...That's just...That's harsh.
Life is harsh. Accept that. It is harsh. Its not a picnic for anyone.
My quadriplegic friend who broke his neck in a trampoline accident when he was 8 and cant even go to the bathroom by himself or wipe his own ass and has to be fed by someone like a baby.... That's harsh.

And if he kept going on and on about how harsh things were for him and putting out waves of despair and negativity, no one would want to be around him. But the thing with him is that despite how raw of a deal he got, and probably thinks about killing himself every night (which he's incapable of doing since he cant even hold a gun etc) is that he acts like an upbeat person. He's the kind of guy you like being around. He always has something positive to say and i have never heard him actually complain once.

He has next to nothing to 'live for' as you put it, but he makes the most out of life anyways. And i cant help but feel im 'wasting my breath' by saying this to you, cause you are just probably going to go right back to square one.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 01:49 AM   #17
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Life is harsh. Accept that. It is harsh. Its not a picnic for anyone.
My quadriplegic friend who broke his neck in a trampoline accident when he was 8 and cant even go to the bathroom by himself or wipe his own ass and has to be fed by someone like a baby.... That's harsh.
And if he kept going on and on about how harsh things were for him and putting out waves of despair and negativity, no one would want to be around him. But the thing with Tim is that despite how raw of a deal he got, and probably thinks about killing himself every night (which he's incapable of doing since he cant even hold a gun etc) is that he acts like an upbeat person. He's the kind of guy you like being around. He always has something positive to say and i have never heard him actually complain once. He has next to nothing to 'live for' as you put it, but he makes the most out of life anyways. And i cant help but feel im 'wasting my breath' by saying this to you, cause you are just probably going to go right back to square one.
I'm sorry and he sounds like a really good person. Really strong willed. I'd never live like that. I'm way too much of a realist for my own good. Realists can never be optimists like him. And I am getting the feeling that no one likes me and they want me to kill myself. Especially on here. But yeah I wish there was something I could do to help him.

Edit: And if I could give my life to let him walk again and have a life, I'd do that. He deserves it more than me.

Last edited by dreamofdante; February 13th, 2014 at 01:53 AM.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 02:04 AM   #18
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I am getting the feeling that no one likes me and they want me to kill myself.
What I think is that is what you are trying to achieve, whether you know it or not.

"I appreciate your advice/concern, but it is useless to me and I know you really do not give a shit and want me to die" That is how you sound and I do not think it is the least bit realistic.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 02:08 AM   #19
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What I think is that is what you are trying to achieve, whether you know it or not.

"I appreciate your advice/concern, but it is useless to me and I know you really do not give as shit and want me to die" That is how you sound and I do not think it is the least bit realistic.
What am I supposed to reply to this? Yeah you're absolutely right. You're in no way putting words into my mouth.
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Old February 13th, 2014, 02:20 AM   #20
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What am I supposed to reply to this? Yeah you're absolutely right. You're in no way putting words into my mouth.
I tried to help and I failed. I am sorry.
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