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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:13 PM   #1
Doc. Maestro
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Default I want to kill my mother

I'm this fucking close to the edge, I swear I can hold it in but I don't know for how much longer I can play this fucking game. 17 FUCKING YEARS OF THIS BULLSHIT.

This is the last straw, I snapped back at her with some comment, and now she's making me and dad's life a living hell, but especially mine. I know for a fact that she's a narcissistic mother (the actual disorder), and I am absolutely fucking sick of it.

Whatever happens, she'll be gone soon, I know it. This is it, either I kill her, she leaves, or dad gets a divorce, and let's hope it's one of the latter. I'm almost at my breaking point, I've succumbed and bottled it all up, but I'm afraid the cork is coming loose.

Wish me the best of luck everybody, and pray for me, please, that nothing lethal occurs

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/fo...play.php?f=514

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Yan Hearn
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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:16 PM   #2
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

Let me first ask, what exactly happened with you and your mother?

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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanB View Post
Let me first ask, what exactly happened with you and your mother?
She's always so intrusive, I finally had enough and I snapped back with a single comment about "Chinese Culture", because from experience I've learnt that chinese culture (as I'm chinese) does not respect the desires of others, and that they simply do without asking. So she misinterprets and starts going on about how I called her a "Stupid chinese", then she changes to "Shit chinese", and she keeps ranting and fucking just goes absolutely nuts.

But this isn't the problem, it's the fact that she always does this. She always goes fucking nuts, even to the lowliest of things. You do one little thing and she harasses you for a month about "Why didn't you drink the last 50mL of your 500 mL water bottle?". I was grounded once for that exact reason. This shit's happened too many times, and while I accept that I made a mistake in snapping at her, I'm absolutely fucking SICK of her, and I can't wait for her to be gone

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/fo...play.php?f=514

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Yan Hearn
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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:27 PM   #4
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

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Originally Posted by Yan Hearn View Post
She's always so intrusive, I finally had enough and I snapped back with a single comment about "Chinese Culture", because from experience I've learnt that chinese culture (as I'm chinese) does not respect the desires of others, and that they simply do without asking. So she misinterprets and starts going on about how I called her a "Stupid chinese", then she changes to "Shit chinese", and she keeps ranting and fucking just goes absolutely nuts.

But this isn't the problem, it's the fact that she always does this. She always goes fucking nuts, even to the lowliest of things. You do one little thing and she harasses you for a month about "Why didn't you drink the last 50mL of your 500 mL water bottle?". I was grounded once for that exact reason. This shit's happened too many times, and while I accept that I made a mistake in snapping at her, I'm absolutely fucking SICK of her, and I can't wait for her to be gone
Understandable! But please, please do not do anything to harm any other people. It's not just me being a pacifist, it that is something that you can never escape from. From what I can tell you're 17. That's quite soon for you to be able to get away from it all. Seriously, just do the easiest thing and wait for the time to come. It will be more soon than you realize.

(sorry for bad grammar, I can't type properly right now.)

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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:33 PM   #5
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanB View Post
Understandable! But please, please do not do anything to harm any other people. It's not just me being a pacifist, it that is something that you can never escape from. From what I can tell you're 17. That's quite soon for you to be able to get away from it all. Seriously, just do the easiest thing and wait for the time to come. It will be more soon than you realize.

(sorry for bad grammar, I can't type properly right now.)
I know, I'm just hoping it won't come to it. I'm going nuts. Her emotional torture has come to the point where hearing a door or cupboard slam even slightly scares me more than most horror jump scares. I can feel my heart skip a beat, and then resume at a quicker and harder pace. It hurts physically, and I'm just so goddamn sick of it. Even when she's not angry it makes me jump

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/fo...play.php?f=514

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Yan Hearn
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Old March 13th, 2016, 10:43 PM   #6
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

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Originally Posted by Yan Hearn View Post
I know, I'm just hoping it won't come to it. I'm going nuts. Her emotional torture has come to the point where hearing a door or cupboard slam even slightly scares me more than most horror jump scares. I can feel my heart skip a beat, and then resume at a quicker and harder pace. It hurts physically, and I'm just so goddamn sick of it. Even when she's not angry it makes me jump
I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. But it really shows a lot that you've made it this far. Compare all the time that you've spent dealing with it, and then look at the time that you have left to deal with it. You're clearly a strong person. I know that you can pull through what's left. Don't give up.

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Old March 14th, 2016, 09:40 PM   #7
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

It's never healthy or good to wish death on someone, but I think we've all done it at some point or another.

I'd just try to cut contact with her to a minimum.
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Old March 20th, 2016, 06:18 PM   #8
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

Please get that thought of killing your mother out of your mind. I'm no doctor but that poor women has a mental problem. It sounds she needs help. Have you thought of speaking to your Dad or a relative and seek some help for her? I feel really bad for you and respect you for going on as long as you have with that situation. But again please get that thought of killing your mother. Your life is very important and you could jeopardize your future by doing something drastic.
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Old March 20th, 2016, 06:48 PM   #9
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Default Re: I want to kill my mother

Good luck, see you in prison - cellblock B, sunshine.
(A sarcastic comment meaning that you can't possibly murder your mother or just get away with it^)
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