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Old January 26th, 2016, 02:58 PM   #1
davdev17
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Default Things People Shouldn't Say

What are some things people say to you about depression that you hate?
I really hate it when people say that other people have it worse than me. This just makes me feel worse because I know I shouldn't feel this way because I have lots of great things, but I do feel this way.

I'm David. I am gay, 18 and from Utah.
The right thing - what is it? I wonder, if you do the right thing, does it really make everyone happy?
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Old January 26th, 2016, 03:12 PM   #2
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

I hate that, too. I also hate when people ask me why. If I knew why, I probably wouldn't be struggling so much, would I? That goes for anxiety, too.

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Old January 26th, 2016, 04:26 PM   #3
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

When I was at my lowest, and couldn't even get out of bed, there were people saying I liked feeling like that so I'd get more attention.


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Old January 26th, 2016, 05:22 PM   #4
davdev17
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by aEON View Post
When I was at my lowest, and couldn't even get out of bed, there were people saying I liked feeling like that so I'd get more attention.
People have said that to me too. It sucks.

I'm David. I am gay, 18 and from Utah.
The right thing - what is it? I wonder, if you do the right thing, does it really make everyone happy?
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Old January 26th, 2016, 07:12 PM   #5
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

That you're as happy as you choose to be.
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Old January 26th, 2016, 08:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

"Why do you look so depressed all the time"
"You have no reason to be sad"
"Look at such a good life you have. You have no reason to feel this way"
"life is tough"
"life goes on"
"just go out and enjoy yourself"

and the worst of them all

"cheer up"

If you ever say those words to me I'll knock you the fuck out.
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Old January 26th, 2016, 09:56 PM   #7
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Here's some classic things I've received from others.

"It isn't that big of a deal. Stop"

I seriously hate when people say this. It's not a big deal to you. It probably won't affect me either later on. My emotions don't have an on/off switch. They happen and then they slowly go away. Sometimes, it just takes me longer than others to get over things.

"Have you tried therapy?"
Yes I have. Therapy taught me great coping skills as well. That doesn't mean it cured me. It just means I can handle it better.

"You should talk to your parents about this"
No kidding. I have no idea why I didn't think of that sooner. *eyeroll*

"Nobody wants to date someone who's depressed or insecure"
lol. who cares?

"You can only control how you feel about things"
The world would seriously be a better place if this was accurate.


And what everyone has stated above.

"May the space of where I am, and where I want to be inspire me"

Last edited by Melodic; January 26th, 2016 at 10:11 PM.
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Old January 26th, 2016, 11:19 PM   #8
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

"There are other people who have it worse than you!"

I'm sorry, but is this supposed to make me feel better? Because it sure as hell doesn't.

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Old January 27th, 2016, 01:14 AM   #9
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

People have said and I greatly dislike -
Stop faking it.
Don't make excuses.
You need medication. Do you take medication?
If you do _____, you'll feel better.
You don't look depressed.

And probably alot more that I don't even remember. I understand, that when people say all these things they most likely don't understand the situation from the depressed person's eyes. I understand, but it still knocks me down a little every time.

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Old January 27th, 2016, 01:20 AM   #10
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

I myself don't nor have I ever been depressed, but I'm fairly certain that my close friend Alex is. His parents are intelligent, great people, but man, do the things they say piss me off sometimes. Alex has treid to tell them that he is not sad and that he is depressed, and they always brush it off as nothing. They just offer to take him to a movie or bowling or some other recreational activity to quote: perk him back up to being happy.

I know they have good intentions, but seriously... Their child is in dire help and what do they do? They push his cries for help away and take him to see a movie as if his problems don't mean anything to them...

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Old January 27th, 2016, 02:11 AM   #11
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Other people have it worse, do you need to see a shrink, stop it.

Yes I was once told to just stop it.




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Old January 28th, 2016, 12:58 PM   #12
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan View Post
That you're as happy as you choose to be.
I've had this said to me, too. I really wish it were true, but it obviously isn't. Especially when it comes to depression. I don't get how people can be so ignorant about the fact that it's a mental illness, not something that you can just switch on and off as you please!

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Old January 28th, 2016, 01:05 PM   #13
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiHouse View Post
"You have no reason to be sad"
"Look at such a good life you have. You have no reason to feel this way"
"just go out and enjoy yourself"
This
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan View Post
That you're as happy as you choose to be.
This

And a personal favorite of my dad's, "When I was younger I felt the same way/had the same problem, but guess what, I got over it."

Yeah, so apparently I'm you now right?...Just because you got over whatever you THINK i'm feeling makes my problem insignificant?...

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Old January 28th, 2016, 05:53 PM   #14
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

When I had depression the thing that made me feel the worst was something like "but you don't look depressed" or "you're not sad all the time" because it made me feel like my thoughts and feelings were null as I wasn't acting depressed 24/7. Its like to have depression or any mental disorder you have to seem like you're struggling all the time or its not real? Eh. Ignorant people suck.
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Old February 3rd, 2016, 12:00 PM   #15
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

When people ask you if you are ok when they know you are not

"Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the earth was made round so we would not see too far down the road"

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Old February 3rd, 2016, 05:19 PM   #16
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

"You're not REALLY bipolar. Bipolar people ______"

YES. SO DO I. LEAVE. / There are varying degrees of mental illness. It's not like every person with a certain diagnosis acts PRECISELY THE SAME

"You're just lazy"

Like, really... just go fuck yourself m8

"You have no reason to be depressed"

(This is stupid for ANYONE, but I of all people do very much have 'reason' to be depressed. Even ASIDE from the obvious, you know, fact that I have a mental illness I have no control over)

"Have you tried being happy"

GEE. NO. THE THOUGHT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

"You don't want to be bipolar. Stop saying that."

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T. WORK YOUR MAGIC AND MAKE ME MENTALLY STABLE, O WIZARD. Like what the fuck

There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed :)))

I have no assault charges on my record to date
I've gotta say, I'm a very patient person


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Old February 3rd, 2016, 08:52 PM   #17
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karkat View Post
There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed ))
What the fuck?! I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this...

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Old February 3rd, 2016, 09:19 PM   #18
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desuetude View Post
When I had depression the thing that made me feel the worst was something like "but you don't look depressed" or "you're not sad all the time" because it made me feel like my thoughts and feelings were null as I wasn't acting depressed 24/7. Its like to have depression or any mental disorder you have to seem like you're struggling all the time or its not real? Eh. Ignorant people suck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Primenumber View Post
When people ask you if you are ok when they know you are not
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karkat View Post
"You're not REALLY bipolar. Bipolar people ______"

YES. SO DO I. LEAVE. / There are varying degrees of mental illness. It's not like every person with a certain diagnosis acts PRECISELY THE SAME

"You're just lazy"

Like, really... just go fuck yourself m8

"You have no reason to be depressed"

(This is stupid for ANYONE, but I of all people do very much have 'reason' to be depressed. Even ASIDE from the obvious, you know, fact that I have a mental illness I have no control over)

"Have you tried being happy"

GEE. NO. THE THOUGHT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

"You don't want to be bipolar. Stop saying that."

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T. WORK YOUR MAGIC AND MAKE ME MENTALLY STABLE, O WIZARD. Like what the fuck

There are so many stupid things you can hear
And I've just
I've heard em all
Including that I need Jesus because mentally ill people (esp bipolar, apparently) are demon-possessed ))

I have no assault charges on my record to date
I've gotta say, I'm a very patient person
I think anything that down plays the persons feelings. An outside person doesn't understand and can be unsupportive and/or insensitive. When they make a remark that proves they refuse to accept you are going through something, it shows that they aren't willing to support or help you. Maybe, it's easier for them to deny.




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Old February 4th, 2016, 05:26 AM   #19
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

When they say something like "But why, whats your REASON for being depressed" or "bur its not normal to be depressed for a year, with no REASON on top of it all"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodic View Post
/.../
"You can only control how you feel about things"
/.../
Sometimes controling emotions to much makes it even worse.

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Last edited by tovaris; February 4th, 2016 at 05:39 AM.
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Old February 4th, 2016, 06:31 PM   #20
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Default Re: Things People Shouldn't Say

"But you were fine earlier"

Something that annoys me is also the fluidity of it, and it seems like whenever I'm in a rut but actually want to talk to someone about it, my friends aren't around or don't want to talk, but whenever I just need some time alone to myself, they can't stop asking what's wrong, and don't seem to understand that at that moment 'people' are not going to help me feel better.

I know they have the best intent most of the time, but it always seems to happen the wrong way around.

Also when I'm not doing well, and they do something nice and expect me to be all cheerful suddenly, and get annoyed when I'm not.

I also agree with the majority of what's been said above.

Hey!! 18/Gay/Gender Neutral/Maths Nerd. You may notice that I have a tendency to overshare in my posts , I'm sorry but I just can't help myself .

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