Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old January 4th, 2016, 06:19 PM   #1
unknownuser
Awesome Poster
 
Join Date: July 11, 2011
Gender: Undisclosed
Default I did it, guys.

Called the cops on my mom last night and they took her away. I'm not sure for how long yet.

I've struggled with very heavy emotional abuse from her for as long as I can remember. Occasionally, it got physical. It got really bad for me around 14/15, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, I was sympathizing with the abuser- she was my mom (some of you old members might remember me asking for advice). Now, I'm 20 and I did what had to be done. I sucked it up and did it, I made the call. I have multiple wounds from last night to prove it, so without a doubt she will be found guilty for battery. Not to mention all the invisible emotional and self-esteem issues I deal with, that's a whole other story.

I tore my family apart with that call last night. I may have to leave home and never show my face again... soon. Cut off absolutely all ties. But at least I stood up for myself and took a step toward making things better for myself. I'll probably be homeless and need to resort to couch surfing and sleeping in my car for awhile, but I feel that enduring these pains and challenges will be worth it and make me a stronger person.

I feel relieved on one side that I did this, but on the other hand, I opened up a whole bunch of new problems for myself. I'd like to think that the decision I made was a good one.

Here's to a new start.
unknownuser is offline  
Old January 4th, 2016, 06:26 PM   #2
thatgothgirluknow
Great Poster
 
thatgothgirluknow's Forum Picture
 
Name: Jade/jordan
Join Date: December 22, 2013
Location: in the deep depts of hell (florida)
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: I did it, guys.

wow you where brave to do that i did that once with my mom because of physical abuse but she was only gone about a day since she scared my sister into withdrawing her witness but im still glad i did it it was a very hard thing for me i hope it goes beter for you but either way im here for you if you need to talk

u know u love the goth girl


do not live to survive but to thrive and secede

<font color=SlateGray><font size=5>BUTTERFLIES</font></font>
the rain comes before the rainbow
thatgothgirluknow is offline  
Old January 4th, 2016, 10:02 PM   #3
Deleted User
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: August 28, 2010
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: I did it, guys.

I'm both proud and very sorry. I know how difficult this is. But, at 20, you're now old enough to know exactly how a lot of this will unfold and you'll have the tools to cope with it.

Early in 2015, I finally stood up to my abuser and by the end of the year, I won. It was emotionally taxing, I lost half my family in the process, but the man involved also lost a daughter and it was his own fault. So I feel sorrier for him than for myself. There's nothing anyone can say to make it feel better to have to stand up against a parent like this, I know. They're meant to love and protect you but... some people just can't. And sometimes you have to take a stand for yourself and for them. Maybe one day she'll learn the severity of the things she's done or maybe she won't. But it's a step in that direction. The rest in the meantime will be really hard but you just did the most difficult thing: speaking up.

I hope everything is at least okay and if you ever need to talk, I'm around.
Deleted User is offline  
Old January 4th, 2016, 11:10 PM   #4
Dalcourt
Moderator
 
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
 
Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: I did it, guys.

That was very brave. I know it is very hard and I can't seem myself doing this in near future but I admire everyone who finally finds the strength.

I wish you all the best for your future.
Dalcourt is offline  
Old January 5th, 2016, 04:12 AM   #5
Bontigo Papi .
Nice Poster
 
Bontigo Papi .'s Forum Picture
 
Name: Justin
Join Date: November 9, 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Dude , you have nothing to feel bad about , you're really brave to do that , and it wouldve been the best thing to do , don't you think what would happen if you were to fight back ? I mean, I really see it angered you , made you feel bad and that is the stuff that makes people angry and they release the anger by fighting .

You could have hurt your mom, maybe even kill her if you didn't make that call , if your family wants nothing to do with you, you still have 10 000+ members who support you mate .

look at yourself now
you're letting yourself down
should've stayed at home
Bontigo Papi . is offline  
Old January 5th, 2016, 04:00 PM   #6
Microcosm
Awesome Poster
 
Microcosm's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dan
Join Date: May 28, 2014
Location: United States
Gender: Cisgender Male
Blog Entries: 9
Default Re: I did it, guys.

@unknownuser,

While this is the first time I have heard your story, I can still appreciate the fact that you stood up to abuse. You are an inspiration to others on this forum experiencing similar difficulties.

For what it's worth, I think you did exactly the right thing. You sacrificed one big problem that was ruining your life and causing you to suffer for a few smaller problems that will probably make you a better person in the end.
Likes: (1)
Microcosm is offline  
Old April 30th, 2016, 01:01 AM   #7
kev1998
Member+
 
kev1998's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kevin
Join Date: July 31, 2013
Location: Tennessee
Gender: Male
Default Re: I did it, guys.

That had to be a tough decision. I have never been in a situation like that and can't imagine how you are feeling right now.
kev1998 is offline  
Old May 7th, 2016, 11:14 PM   #8
bfldworker
Member
 
bfldworker's Forum Picture
 
Name: Jim
Join Date: August 31, 2015
Location: Clearwater, FL
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Default Re: I did it, guys.

My father went through that after my grandparent divorced. She became a pill popping raging alcoholic. She tried to slit his throat for not getting her beer, tried to run him over and a few other things. He still has issues dealing with it even though she died in 1999. The pain will not go away. But you learn to deal with it.

bfldworker is offline  
Old May 17th, 2016, 06:14 PM   #9
JohnJack
Junior Member+
 
Name: Connor
Join Date: March 4, 2013
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Wow, I'm glad you had the courage to overcome the conflicting emotions that I'm sure came with making this decision since she was your mom. You might want to consider embracing any family members who support your decision though. They might be great people to help you through life in ways that your mom was not doing. I'm glad some justice will be served in the situation and I hope you can come out of this stronger.
JohnJack is offline  
Old May 19th, 2016, 09:51 AM   #10
Stronk Serb
Kebab Remover
 
Stronk Serb's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: November 3, 2012
Location: Serbia (FYR)
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 2
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Okay, try to find a place to stay and a job that will support you. Any friend or family that will support you is greatly appreciated. Stay strong.

Male/Serb nationalist/Centrist Authoritarian /Straight/Heliphobe
"Democracy is a dictatorship of the fools"
-Friedrich von Schiller (1759 1805)
VT's leading expert on Slavology and anything Slavic-related, if you have some questions of Slavic nature, just send me a VM or a PM
Stronk Serb is offline  
Old May 19th, 2016, 01:15 PM   #11
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: I did it, guys.

This was the OP's last post in VT from last January. Has anyone seen or heard from him sinse or know how he made out?
I'd hate to think something bad happened, he's been a member sinse 2011.
Just JT is offline  
Old May 19th, 2016, 04:16 PM   #12
LRSSS02
Member+
 
LRSSS02's Forum Picture
 
Name: Reid
Join Date: April 24, 2016
Location: Florida
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: I did it, guys.

good for you at least you got justice
LRSSS02 is offline  
Old May 19th, 2016, 11:08 PM   #13
Supermeggs12
Banned
 
Join Date: May 28, 2013
Location: Cali
Gender: Female
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Proud of you.
Supermeggs12 is offline  
Old May 20th, 2016, 01:51 AM   #14
llamabanana
Junior Member
 
llamabanana's Forum Picture
 
Name: Daniel
Join Date: May 18, 2016
Location: nowhere important
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Default Re: I did it, guys.

This is great! you are an inspiration! I hope your life will get better soon... stay strong!

Wierd, and proud of it
Sorry for grammer, english is not my main
llamabanana is offline  
Old May 22nd, 2016, 01:27 PM   #15
logan4sho
Member
 
Name: Logan
Join Date: May 6, 2016
Location: That place I live
Gender: Male
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by unknownuser View Post
Called the cops on my mom last night and they took her away. I'm not sure for how long yet.

I've struggled with very heavy emotional abuse from her for as long as I can remember. Occasionally, it got physical. It got really bad for me around 14/15, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, I was sympathizing with the abuser- she was my mom (some of you old members might remember me asking for advice). Now, I'm 20 and I did what had to be done. I sucked it up and did it, I made the call. I have multiple wounds from last night to prove it, so without a doubt she will be found guilty for battery. Not to mention all the invisible emotional and self-esteem issues I deal with, that's a whole other story.

I tore my family apart with that call last night. I may have to leave home and never show my face again... soon. Cut off absolutely all ties. But at least I stood up for myself and took a step toward making things better for myself. I'll probably be homeless and need to resort to couch surfing and sleeping in my car for awhile, but I feel that enduring these pains and challenges will be worth it and make me a stronger person.

I feel relieved on one side that I did this, but on the other hand, I opened up a whole bunch of new problems for myself. I'd like to think that the decision I made was a good one.

Here's to a new start.
HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
logan4sho is offline  
Old May 24th, 2016, 12:55 AM   #16
unknownuser
Awesome Poster
 
Join Date: July 11, 2011
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Thanks for the love and concern, guys. <3
@TJreversed Hi there, I appreciate the concern, I'm still alive and well. And I'm a *her* actually. When I wrote this, I was in a super scared and panicked state. It took me a few months to really calm myself down and try to forget the incident. Things didn't go exactly as I thought they would... not necessarily better, not worse, just differently. So in a nutshell, I'm kinda back to where I started but the situation is a tiny bit better. I believe I managed to scare a little bit of sense into my mom because she watches herself and controls herself a bit better because she knows the police is just a phone call away and if she gets cited for a second incident, it would probably mean jail time and a lot of issues for her. And believe me, how nerve-wracking and scary it was when she first got out of jail, my lord, I was like a terrified rabbit- on guard and ready to bolt for my life. It isn't the greatest environment for sue, it still takes a large toll on me, but I'd like to say I'm managing well and planning my permanent leave. Emotionally I'm doing a bit better, I just keep on moving forward, it's the only thing I can do. What it came down to was leaving unprepared and risking the super high chance of eventually having to move back in VS buying myself some time, coming up with a plan, saving a lot of money, and being able to successfully move out and leave for good- to never have to come back. If I went with the first option, I could NOT handle having to come back home, defeated- I have too much pride to pull something like that. So I think waiting it out for a year until I finish college, just dealing with it, is the better option for me in the longer run. Then I leave without a word, never to come back, never show my face again. I've got a plan in play, money in my savings, I think I will be good to go. I crave freedom and being on my own so badly, to be free of all these constraints and negativity... that craving is what keeps me going from day to day. It gives me the optimism that things CAN and WILL get better. I just have to wait it out for a little bit until it can be completely mine for good.


And a sidenote to those dealing with abuse: I absolutely do NOT condone staying with your abuser. It is the best choice for me for me for now and I've built up an emotional wall to shield myself, but it definitely does take a toll on my happiness, self esteem, and well-being, it is not easy. BE SMART, BE PREPARED. If things take a turn for the worse, BE READY. Have essential items ready and on-hand, have somewhere to go, have someone (or an internet community) that will support you, have money saved, HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN IN PLACE. Know that you are strong enough to make the move, change begins with you. Coming from an internet stranger, I know it's not the most believable stuff, but know that you are loved, that I support and love every single one of you and believe in you. Your well-being, health, and safety are the most important things.
Likes: (1)
unknownuser is offline  
Old May 24th, 2016, 05:44 AM   #17
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: I did it, guys.

@unknownuser thank you for getting back in touch and giving us an update. I'm glad things are heading in the right direction for you, even though it's a hard road, you will prevail.

I'm also no stranger to abuse, and what you say is true. There are no right correct, or good choices you need to male and everyone is different. The long term plan will almost always include short term goals you do not like but will need to do, and be very difficult and painful. So just keep your head down, tuck n roll, life's rough, get a helmit, the sun shines on the other side bro. :hugs:

Hit me up anytime you need to chat ok?
Just JT is offline  
Old October 20th, 2016, 10:45 PM   #18
Godsdaughter
Junior Member+
 
Join Date: October 20, 2016
Location: The earth
Gender: Female
Default Re: I did it, guys.

I have to say, calling the police on your mom, even if she is abusive, is one of the hardest things in the world to do. But I am extremely proud of you for being brave enough to do the right thing. I know this is hard for you, but you did the right thing. You need to know that. I will always be here for you if you want to talk.
I'll pray for you too
Godsdaughter is offline  
Old October 21st, 2016, 02:05 AM   #19
Endeavour
Global Moderator
 
Endeavour's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: November 27, 2015
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: I did it, guys.

Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity.



Global Moderator
live a life you will remember

Feel free to contact me: PM [email protected]
Visit: Path to the Horizon Ask Me Anything
Endeavour is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org