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Old December 22nd, 2015, 04:39 PM   #1
Microcosm
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Default Abuse at School // Want advice

Hey, everyone.

I haven't been using VT as actively as I used to, but I know I can come to this community for advice on even the smallest things. This is one of the bigger problems.

Let me describe the situation, first, then I will describe the strides I've taken to solve it.

There is this nerdy kid in my science class who is kind of a wanna-be-cool-kid. No one really likes him and he is really a lone-wolf bully. He talks down to me sometimes and sometimes will try to grab my leg and squeeze it creepily or he will try to annoy me by punching my shoulder.

He's said things like "When was the last time YOU had a girlfriend?" and "You deserve to die" before, although he only goes that far maybe once a week.

First, I told him very assertively to stop. I looked him in the eyes and furrowed my brows as to look very angry with him and said "Don't touch me."

This should've worked, I thought, but it didn't. The problem was that I couldn't really effectively enforce the assertion. He kept on doing the same sorts of things.

He also has tried to grab my things off my desk like my binder and phone. He once tried to pull my headphones out of my ears and said "What would you do if I pulled both of them out?" and I said "I'd beat your ass." He just said "No, you wouldn't do it" and the thing that sucked was that he was right.

I can't truly enforce these responses. I can say them and make the other person believe I'm serious, but if they ever challenge them, they fall down and I never go through with them.

After telling him to stop many times to no avail, I told the teacher. First, she did nothing. I had told her to move his seat but she did nothing for about a week. Then, I reminded her. She took him out into the hall probably to tell him to stop. Then, he came back in in the exact same seat and tried to act friendly for the rest of the day.

Within the next few days, he was right back to it: Passive aggressive bullying.

I've gone to other places online for help and have just been called a "pussy," and I'm starting to think those people are right.

I don't even stand up for myself in these little scenarios.

Plus, I know that there are WAY worse situations of bullying happening to people every day, and I am willing to stand up for others in those situations.

But I am a victim to this passive-aggressive teasing that some people consider to be the "gray area" of bullying. In my mind, it is completely bullying, but to some others I just seem like a pussy.

It just bothers me mentally, all of this, and I don't even know why. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. I should be able to just push him aside and move on, but why can't I?

If you have any advice for me, please do tell.

Thanks in advance.
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Old December 23rd, 2015, 07:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

It is just me and i am not sure this is a good advice.

but if he does it again i would tell him to STOP with a little bit loud voice so that some people around me hear. and if he continues i would just say "I guess it is true, Children don't usually listen when you tell them to stop"

My intention is to embarrass him but as i said i am not sure if this will work or this is a good advice.

Feel free to talk to me or ask me anything
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Old January 13th, 2016, 09:49 PM   #3
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

I would have punched him in the face long ago....
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Old January 14th, 2016, 11:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

Is he hyper? He may have something wrong with him that makes him do these things, kinda out of his control maybe.
Your doing the right things, it's too bad the teacher is useless. I would tell your mom to call your teacher and complain and make the teacher move the kid elsewhere. The kid won't know she phoned, sometimes parents can get further with teachers.
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Old January 15th, 2016, 09:23 PM   #5
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

I take a more intellectual route.

I'd invest in a good $88 recorder with an Micro sd card, carry it on you at all times and record him dropping abusive dialogue to you about "you need to die" comments.

Keep your behavior cordial and non-threatening to him to stop.


Go home everyday and copy the captured dialogue over with all his abusive statements.

Catalogue it, tell your parents what is going on and then with them tell the teachers and school staff to deal with him or you will hire a lawyer and put what you've endured on social media if it isn't dealt with.

That bullying stuff has to end, but make sure your threats to him in attempts to defend yourself are legal.

If you make violent threats against him in response this plan will backfire.
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Old February 17th, 2016, 05:59 PM   #6
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aziz View Post
It is just me and i am not sure this is a good advice.

but if he does it again i would tell him to STOP with a little bit loud voice so that some people around me hear. and if he continues i would just say "I guess it is true, Children don't usually listen when you tell them to stop"

My intention is to embarrass him but as i said i am not sure if this will work or this is a good advice.
This happened to me, one smack in the teeth or bollocks done it for me. There ain't nothing on this world worth looking your pride for, I fount that out myself. Bully's suck ok. they do it for attention but it sounds like this nerd has no friends so he gets the 1 reaction from you. Honestly, fighting isn't the answer but that's how I deal with bullies, it runs through my family. And if you get told off for hitting the bully then you go straight back to your teacher and say that they let it get that far by not doing anything so you took matters into your own hands. Hope you find this helpful!

"For once you have tasted flight, You will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return"
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Old February 17th, 2016, 06:34 PM   #7
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

^ That will not help you.

Violence will get you nowhere with this problem. The kid bothering you is obviously too immature for his own good and too stupid to know better. I would do something similar to what Uniquemind said.

You should keep bothering the teacher though and insist that it's a serious problem, and if that doesn't work, take it to your parents and higher staff in school.


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so if he pulls these shenanigans again, I'm whipping out the long dick of the law on him

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Old February 24th, 2016, 06:54 AM   #8
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

I think he just wants your attention, honestly. Uniquemind's advice is quite good, but I think you would be wasting too much precious time dealing with him that way. Since you've already brought it up to the teacher attention and she did nothing, you can either take the matter into your own hands or try to ignore him. By taking the matter into your own hands I mean getting more violent (both physically and psychologically), and by trying to ignore him I mean avoiding answering him (or talking to him in any way) and telling him to shut up when he addresses you.


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Old February 24th, 2016, 09:50 AM   #9
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

Tell the principal and your parents. Do not resort to violence. This issue needs to be taken care of. It's bedt to bring in the adults




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Old February 25th, 2016, 04:18 AM   #10
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

@Microcosm so whose advice did you go with and what's the updated situation?
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Old February 25th, 2016, 05:20 PM   #11
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

my biggest question is, why cant you enforce these threats? but yes tell the principal. and if he comes after you again, kick his arse.
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Old February 27th, 2016, 11:32 AM   #12
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

@ethan-s @Uniquemind

Thanks for reminding me to update this. I'm surprised I didn't.

So on the first day back after Christmas break, he said something to me(I forget what it was, but it wasn't too bad) and I was like "fuck this shit I'm out" and I asked the teacher if I could move. She was okay with it and I had a friend across the class room who is really amazing and she has made that class much more enjoyable for me. I haven't had any serious problems from him since and he has asked me to move back before. I guess once the parasite loses its host, it becomes desperate.

He's still annoying, but everyone in the class hates him and thinks he's annoying so he's already embarrassed. Now I just don't have to deal with him daily and talking directly to me.

As for those of you that suggested a violent response, that just wouldn't end well for me. I know I'd be technically justified in some situations doing that, but it would just do more harm I think. The class room isn't the place for that. Plus, I consider myself a pacifist and rarely ever use violence(call me a pussy, whatever ��).

The problem has, for the most part, been solved. Thanks for the responses everyone.
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Old February 28th, 2016, 05:16 AM   #13
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Microcosm View Post
@ethan-s @Uniquemind

Thanks for reminding me to update this. I'm surprised I didn't.

So on the first day back after Christmas break, he said something to me(I forget what it was, but it wasn't too bad) and I was like "fuck this shit I'm out" and I asked the teacher if I could move. She was okay with it and I had a friend across the class room who is really amazing and she has made that class much more enjoyable for me. I haven't had any serious problems from him since and he has asked me to move back before. I guess once the parasite loses its host, it becomes desperate.

He's still annoying, but everyone in the class hates him and thinks he's annoying so he's already embarrassed. Now I just don't have to deal with him daily and talking directly to me.

As for those of you that suggested a violent response, that just wouldn't end well for me. I know I'd be technically justified in some situations doing that, but it would just do more harm I think. The class room isn't the place for that. Plus, I consider myself a pacifist and rarely ever use violence(call me a pussy, whatever ��).

The problem has, for the most part, been solved. Thanks for the responses everyone.
Yay for happy results.

I rarely advocate violence as a solution, so far in the long term humanity hasn't benefitted from the practice of war, albeit it helps win battles, don't forget that the contest of who can be the strongest led to the Cold War.

Violence only has a purpose in self-defensive.

It's always best to play the defensive social card, as well as the tactical one.

Be aware if you do go the violence route, "I'll handle my own problems, I won't tattle", mindset you get the situation that girl from Sonoma Valley High got when she beat down on a guy for bullying her.

Police have to charge her for battery now, albeit she has a lot of sympathizers given the guys are known to be jerks.

Last edited by Uniquemind; February 28th, 2016 at 05:21 AM.
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Old March 4th, 2016, 03:11 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The F.M Mars View Post
^ That will not help you.

Violence will get you nowhere with this problem. The kid bothering you is obviously too immature for his own good and too stupid to know better. I would do something similar to what Uniquemind said.

You should keep bothering the teacher though and insist that it's a serious problem, and if that doesn't work, take it to your parents and higher staff in school.
It worked for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Microcosm View Post
@ethan-s @Uniquemind

Thanks for reminding me to update this. I'm surprised I didn't.

So on the first day back after Christmas break, he said something to me(I forget what it was, but it wasn't too bad) and I was like "fuck this shit I'm out" and I asked the teacher if I could move. She was okay with it and I had a friend across the class room who is really amazing and she has made that class much more enjoyable for me. I haven't had any serious problems from him since and he has asked me to move back before. I guess once the parasite loses its host, it becomes desperate.

He's still annoying, but everyone in the class hates him and thinks he's annoying so he's already embarrassed. Now I just don't have to deal with him daily and talking directly to me.

As for those of you that suggested a violent response, that just wouldn't end well for me. I know I'd be technically justified in some situations doing that, but it would just do more harm I think. The class room isn't the place for that. Plus, I consider myself a pacifist and rarely ever use violence(call me a pussy, whatever ��).

The problem has, for the most part, been solved. Thanks for the responses everyone.
I got called a pussy until I hit the bully back. But everyone has their own way of dealing with things like this

"For once you have tasted flight, You will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return"

Last edited by Living For Love; March 4th, 2016 at 04:31 PM. Reason: Merging. Please use "Edit" button next time. ~Tiago
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Old March 20th, 2016, 09:10 PM   #15
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Default Re: Abuse at School // Want advice

Definitely tell the principal and your parents. Take it to the next level. You should not be treated like that. You could be helping other kids who could be experiencing the same treatment from this jerk off.
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Old October 20th, 2016, 11:08 PM   #16
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It sounds like you have been standing up for yourself, so I think its time to tell a teacher now. Standing up for yourself obliviously is not working.
I'll be praying for you
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Old October 20th, 2016, 11:22 PM   #17
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Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity.



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