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Old October 13th, 2015, 04:54 AM   #1
Nice Poster
Tesserax's Forum Picture
Name: Aaron
Join Date: November 3, 2014
Age: 20
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default I'm not sure

So over the past year and a half, I've been trying to figure myself out. My dad says it's just a phase, that it's just my hormones and I'm really not sure. Even reading the thing above I'm still sort of confused, because I don't feel I have enough information, or I haven't been paying enough attention. But yeah, I think I might be bipolar/manic-depressive

First off let me tell you, it started after music camp. I enjoyed myself a lot that weekend, but I came home and felt empty, like everything good had been ripped from me. It got better after awhile, but then a few months passed and I slowly slipped into a depressive mindset, and it was terrible. Ever since then it's been fluctuating; a month or two on, a month or two off.

In my ups, I feel positive, happy, smart, accomplished and many other things. I feel on top of my game, like I can do exactly what I set out to do, and I feel in control.

When I hit my downs, I feel out of control, to an extent worthless, and I end up procrastinating to get my mind off the anxiety caused by my homework, and then procrastinate more as the anxiety ramps up, and it keeps on going with this infinite loop adding more anxiety until I finally hit my good phase again.

At the moment I'm a bit neutral. I have these phases too, the transition phase. This usually takes about a week, maybe two. In this phase I'm in control of everything; my emotions are neutral, I work well and hard, and I tend to be more... controlled in general.

Anyway thanks for reading, I probably haven't put enough information, but I wanted to know what you guys think. Ask me any questions, there's a lot more details that I think I missed out on that you might ask about, but thank you again, good luck in your ventures, and may you be guided to Eternity

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary:

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Doc. Maestro
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