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Old January 29th, 2014, 01:38 AM   #21
chieko
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I was 9 when I was first molested and the last when i was 10. My parents put them in to prison when they found out. I was satisfied knowing they were suffering and feeling worse than what I felt, that's what I always thought of. Right now my mind is already too occupied by other things to think about that past.
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Old January 30th, 2014, 03:53 AM   #22
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by elmoc View Post
Thanks for commenting on my statement. I appreciate your viewpoint.

Again, I respectfully disagree. Molestation is certainly a traumatic experience, but Imit that I enjoyed the feee, even at age 12. This process occurred over 4 months. She eventually did penetrate me rectally, but I will not be specific. The penetration took things to a completely different level of trauma. Many scholarly studies support that statement in both male & female child victims.

As for your friend that was raped & has no problems, I suspect she may be using denial as a coping mechanism. It is much easier to act like it didn't bother you, than to face reality: Your body was penetrated against your will; your ability to trust trust will never be the same. On the other hand, you know her personally, & I am generalizing, based on group therapy sessions with other child/teen victims, and published psychological studies.

I agree with you completely: Different people react differently to various types of inappropriate sexual manipulation. You are right- some people will be devastated by fondling. In my experience, as well as my weekly participation in a therapy group of sexually abused teens, penetration (oral, rectal, or vaginal) multiplies the trauma exponentially.

It isn.t something that can be easily explained, but when the adult takes the molestation from fondling to penetration, the victim feels a complete loss of control of our own bodies.
Please know I in no way mean to deny yours or any one else's experience. And the trend does lean towards penitration, however there is a minority that doesn't. And Ive completely agree on multiple traumas. I know from my own experience with other trauma that it gets worse with repeats. Some that have been heavily abused say it hits a top eventually and it just becomes life. Which I can see as a valid experience.

My main reason for the feed back is some (not you) people believe the most heavily abused person should get treatment and the others are resource suckers that should just get over it. And are treated as if they are selfish for wanting help furthering their negative feelings. Experiences can not be objectified.
There is also hang ups between psychological, physical and sexual abuse. Sexual is often considered most important and emotional attention seeking. Even though there have been a few people that claimed the emotional abuse was worse than the sexual abuse. Which I'm sure has a lot to do with the individual and situation. I don't believe in taking help away from some one who has been waiting and giving it to the person you think has it the worst. That iswrong as it further mistreats the person who is constantly pushed aside for "more serious cases" and starts to destroy them further emotionally.

And eventually you end up with a system like where I am where if you aren't a rape case you just need to suck it up and get over it and stop attention seeking. And then the rest of us with different polar opposite traumas are left to just suck it up until we explode or commit suicide. There is much help for sexual abuse, some for violence, and none for emotional. And as a person who went through emotional it can get very very brutal. Its a lot more than just words. Its a whole nother world. I imagine other types of abuse are just as different and awful. I've been through physical as well but it was my own fault because I fought back so I don't get to say much there.

Any way I'm rambling again. Lol I just put it out there for the casual onlookers browings around. So noting is ment personal and i in no way want to deny any ones experience. Im a big advocate of everyone's right to feel their trauma however they do. I think everyones trauma is equaly important. If they feel its that bad then it is, for them. Who are we to say what others feel them selves. I just point out there are other less known experiences. Gota get all them view points in there!

~I do not try to give advice as much as I do just point out facts as I have found people like to make their own decisions in life, not be told what one is best to make~


Please excuse my typos. I'm usually on my phone and it has issues.
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Old January 31st, 2014, 06:45 PM   #23
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiya View Post
Please know I in no way mean to deny yours or any one else's experience. And the trend does lean towards penitration, however there is a minority that doesn't. And Ive completely agree on multiple traumas. I know from my own experience with other trauma that it gets worse with repeats. Some that have been heavily abused say it hits a top eventually and it just becomes life. Which I can see as a valid experience.

My main reason for the feed back is some (not you) people believe the most heavily abused person should get treatment and the others are resource suckers that should just get over it. And are treated as if they are selfish for wanting help furthering their negative feelings. Experiences can not be objectified.
There is also hang ups between psychological, physical and sexual abuse. Sexual is often considered most important and emotional attention seeking. Even though there have been a few people that claimed the emotional abuse was worse than the sexual abuse. Which I'm sure has a lot to do with the individual and situation. I don't believe in taking help away from some one who has been waiting and giving it to the person you think has it the worst. That iswrong as it further mistreats the person who is constantly pushed aside for "more serious cases" and starts to destroy them further emotionally.

And eventually you end up with a system like where I am where if you aren't a rape case you just need to suck it up and get over it and stop attention seeking. And then the rest of us with different polar opposite traumas are left to just suck it up until we explode or commit suicide. There is much help for sexual abuse, some for violence, and none for emotional. And as a person who went through emotional it can get very very brutal. Its a lot more than just words. Its a whole nother world. I imagine other types of abuse are just as different and awful. I've been through physical as well but it was my own fault because I fought back so I don't get to say much there.

Any way I'm rambling again. Lol I just put it out there for the casual onlookers browings around. So noting is ment personal and i in no way want to deny any ones experience. Im a big advocate of everyone's right to feel their trauma however they do. I think everyones trauma is equaly important. If they feel its that bad then it is, for them. Who are we to say what others feel them selves. I just point out there are other less known experiences. Gota get all them view points in there!
We agree completely! I am very sorry to hear that any mental health professional is cold enough to expect you to "suck it up" & move on. As you have indicated, everyone experiences trauma in their own unique way. I hope you can find someone, whether that be a friend, counselor or therapist, that can help you deal with your situation & help you get past it, to the best that you can. You are right, we have to keep moving forward & keep experiencing the new challenges of everyday life.

I never meant to minimize anything that has happened to you, & I apologize if I unintentionally did that to you. I don't know about you, but sometimes the only thing that makes things seem better is a big old hug from my mom.

I wish you the best, & am willing to offer you any online support available, You seem like a very special person.

Some days you're the bug;
some days you're the windshield.
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Old January 31st, 2014, 09:06 PM   #24
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

god what a fucking nightmare this thread is. how can anyone get off on abusing someone like that and scarring them for life?
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Old February 1st, 2014, 03:55 AM   #25
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by elmoc View Post
We agree completely! I am very sorry to hear that any mental health professional is cold enough to expect yan help you deal with your situation & help you get past it, to the best that you can. You are right, we have to keep moving forward & keep experiencing the new challenges of everyday life.

I never meant to minimize anything that has happened to you, & I apologize if I unintentionally did that to you. I don't know about you, but sometimes the only thing that makes things seem better is a big old hug from my mom.

I wish you the best, & am willing to offer you any online support available, You seem like a very special person.
Awe! Thanks! All the best yo you too!

The best thing I've found so far is moving 100 miles an hour through life and not stopping to think about it. I just do as I was told and suck it up and ignore it. Without anyone in RL to actually confide in its the best thing as remembering just creates worse feelings and the fact I'm all alone. Ive gotten quite use to it actually. At first the feeling of emptyness was hard to deal with but I have gotten use to it. After a life of people treating you like shit it just becomes old hat to have some call you a bad name. Actually I'd rather someone call me f*** head than be passive aggressive about it. Lol
IF anything i dont care what people think any more. Which is a good thing i think.


I truly feel for anyone who has gone through any kind of trauma, whether it be abuse or a death of a loved one or an accident.

~I do not try to give advice as much as I do just point out facts as I have found people like to make their own decisions in life, not be told what one is best to make~


Please excuse my typos. I'm usually on my phone and it has issues.
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Old February 11th, 2014, 12:13 AM   #26
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I havn't, but a friend of mine was, and it really changed her.
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Old February 12th, 2014, 06:50 AM   #27
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I have been raped last summer vacation by a friend (not a friend anymore).
I don't wanna talk about it, I just want to warn people to be carefull who to trust and to be alone with.. Out doors and indoors.
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Old February 14th, 2014, 07:11 AM   #28
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

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Originally Posted by kashmir View Post
god what a fucking nightmare this thread is. how can anyone get off on abusing someone like that and scarring them for life?
Getting abused on a regular basis is what must feel like a long nightmare and too many people enjoy abusing others i'm afraid, having no concern whatsoever about how much it can be scarring the victims.
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Old February 15th, 2014, 03:42 PM   #29
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

In a way I suppose, I was blackmailed into having sex with another guy.
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Old February 16th, 2014, 02:34 PM   #30
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

11 / a guy from school / No cuz i fucked him up
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Old February 17th, 2014, 05:46 PM   #31
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Hey guys, these are rlly sad comments . I pretty much live a normal life and Ive never once have been abused (sexually, mentally, hurtfully, etc.) I live with only my sweet and caring mom :]. I would offer for somebody to pm me, but Im still to new to respond back to a pm. But u can pm me to talk in the chat room, Im an ear you can vent out to :]. Cheers!
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Old February 20th, 2014, 03:57 AM   #32
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I was both molested and raped by a boyfriend when I was 12-13, and I think about it constantly. I have recurring nightmares, I have flashbacks, thinking about it is very triggering for me if I'm not careful.

In fact, my first real consensual experience triggered a strong flashback. It doesn't happen anymore though.
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Old February 23rd, 2014, 02:55 PM   #33
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexOnToast View Post
12, a "friend", sometimes.
wait wot

17, bi, nihilist
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Old February 23rd, 2014, 02:58 PM   #34
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wait wot
You are going to have to be waaay more specific
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Old February 23rd, 2014, 03:03 PM   #35
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You are going to have to be waaay more specific
where did he touch you

17, bi, nihilist
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Old February 23rd, 2014, 06:32 PM   #36
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I was abused by this old overweight black guy when I was under 8-10. He was supposed to be my babysitter but he was my biggest nightmare ive never been that scared of a human being. Which was rape. He went to jail for other reasons. Then after that, my parents were drug addicts so I wasn't being taken care of and I had to make money to feed myself and younger brother so I started doing sexual favors for older men in return for food clothing money my basic needs. I consider that sexual abuse because I was willing but way too young to consent. 11-13. so it wasn't just one guy it was a lot of different men. I also was in a toxic relationship as well a year later. She was my girlfriend. I was 14.

I was really ashamed and have low self esteem I think it may have affected my gender identity and sexuality.

Last edited by Ffdp16; February 24th, 2014 at 09:34 PM.
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Old February 24th, 2014, 09:18 AM   #37
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

Happened to a close friend of mine by her stepdad when she was 13 she still is messed up from it and i dont blame her
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Old February 25th, 2014, 09:02 AM   #38
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Default Re: Have you ever been sexually abused?

I was sexually abused when I was 6. I was at a foster home and the teenage son of the family raped me...he was mentally disabled somehow and therefore he kinda didn't know what he was doing. I told my school teacher and my foster parents about it. Their son was put in some institution and I was taken to another place. They weren't allowed to be foster parents any longer cuz as authorities dug deeper they found out that I wasn't the first foster kid to be molested there. The other's were just too afraid to say anything...

I don't really think about it anymore...it's kinda all blurred and long forgotten...
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Old February 25th, 2014, 09:08 AM   #39
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Never was and I'm very thankful for that. It's gotta be a fucking awful thing to go through.

~ not posting anymore cru ~
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Old February 25th, 2014, 10:34 PM   #40
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where did he touch you
It wasn't really a matter of that, and I think I would get in serious trouble for going into detail.
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