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Old July 15th, 2015, 03:43 PM   #741
Why_me
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

2 weeks ago using a pair of scissors I cut myself 4 times on the wrist since then I've let those heal and am doing it in less conspicuous places
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Old July 20th, 2015, 08:59 PM   #742
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

I cut for first time about ten days ago. I used my pen knife I use for arts and crafts. I did it above my knee and twice on my forearm. I don't really know why I started, I just decided to try it. It hurts, but I sort of don't mind. If somebody asked why I cut, I would say I don't know, because it feels like that. It's become a routine to get my makeup bag and go into the bathroom. I wash my razor before and after every use, and I wash my cuts frequently as well. I have almost 200 and none of them seem to be infected or in unusual pain. They're mostly on my upper thighs with about five on my forearms and some on my stomach and ribs. I'm running out of room, so I've start slashing across the rows of cuts I made previously. I've been wondering lately if I have depression - I know I have really low self-esteem, so whenever I consider the possibility of depression, the voice in my head tells me that I'm just pathetic and an attention-whore and that I have no excuse. Most of the cuts aren't deep, they just bead up with blood a bit. I get frustrated sometimes when they don't bleed and "redo" the cut. I'm so scared to tell my Mum because I don't want her to feel guilty or angry. I feel like I would only hurt everybody in my family if I told them. I've read posts and stuff on stopping self-harm tendencies, but I honestly don't want to. It doesn't feel like an addiction. Then again, I hardly know what an addiction feels like. Only my two other friends know that I cut, and one of them just stopped. I feel bad talking to them about it, so this is basically the first time I've really written my feelings down about the whole mess. Sorry for the long-arse text.
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Old August 18th, 2015, 01:06 AM   #743
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

My first time cutting was when my boyfriend said he was no longer in love with me. I remember being in the shower crying on the floor of the shower and I just remember wanting my emotional pain away. So I turned to physical pain. I took apart my eye liner penceil sharpener and took out the razor and cut up my hips (so no one would see it). I cut until I didn't have any room left to cut. Then I cried some more and gave up. Im not okay yet but I will be eventually I guess
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Old August 19th, 2015, 02:47 AM   #744
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

thanks!!!
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Old September 10th, 2015, 08:27 AM   #745
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

I've self harmed since I was like 8 years old, but back then I didn't know I was harming myself and it wasn't by cutting. It might sound weird but I used to bite myself, and I don't really remember why I started doing it. I don't know if it was because I liked it or because it calmed me or idk, but it started to become kind of a compulsion where I would have to actually fight with myself to stop biting myself. I finally started to stop when I was around 14 mostly because I was tired of having to wear longsleeves and sweaters to cover up the scars I had caused myself.
It wasn't until a couple of months ago after my 19th birthday that I went back to self harming and this time by cutting. I don't know what it was, but one night I just felt so empty, so anxious. I kept thinking to myself that I was a loser, I was a waste of life, I wanted to disappear... to be gone... to die. I had this dark feeling in me, I was in emotional pain and I wanted to find some way to release that pain. So I grabbed the sharpest thing I could find in my room, my house keys, and I started scratching myself with them. I didn't cause myself too much harm, but it did help me calm down enough to try and get some sleep.
The following morning though, I still didn't feel completely fine. My parents had gone to work, my little brother was still asleep, and I so I was the only one awake in the house. That's when I decided to try cutting. I found a blade and basically just made little scratches on myself. As time passed and up until now, I have kept cutting and have even cut enough for blood to come out. I know it's bad, I know I shouldn't do it, I don't like doing it, and I try stopping myself, but recently there have just been days when I just need to release, but I still try to stay hopeful that whatever is going on will eventually get better.
I'm sorry if this was a bit graphic, but I think writing this out was helpful to me.
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Old October 19th, 2015, 06:12 PM   #746
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

First time?

I cut myself with a razor blade, 14 times in 5th grade.
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Old November 7th, 2015, 08:53 AM   #747
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

I lost someone. My best friend actually. I had the idea in my head because I'd heard someone mention it before, so I just did it. Before I did I told myself that I was only going to do it just once, but after I did it, I realized it was impossible to worry about anything else when there was blood coming from you, and I did again. and again. and again. 4 deep cuts along my ankle, so deep that the scars are still there.
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Old November 28th, 2015, 10:39 PM   #748
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

first stop bleeding and sterilize with detol solution..
then apply little tincture-benzene with a cotton piece
do not close the wound
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Old December 6th, 2015, 10:58 PM   #749
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

First time I self-injured was in eighth grade, when I was stressed out about some school project. I think my dad or mom was yelling at me for it or something; I remember it was really late and I'd never felt quite that awful in my life, I don't think. I needed some fabric for the project but I also found a pair of scissors in the drawer. I grabbed it and scratched a small line in my wrist before I snapped out of it and threw them back in the drawer. I told myself I wouldn't do it again, but I didn't exactly keep that promise.

The first time I actually broke skin and drew blood was in tenth grade, and I was sitting in my room, feeling a particular sense of emptiness, and maybe hopelessness. So I took the blade out of my pencil sharpener and just. Took it to my thigh. I think I only made two or three cuts, and none of them scarred.

Lately I've also been trying to stop again, mostly just because I told someone on Whisper I would.



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Old January 14th, 2016, 09:57 PM   #750
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Originally Posted by BiUnicorn View Post
My first time cutting was when my boyfriend said he was no longer in love with me. I remember being in the shower crying on the floor of the shower and I just remember wanting my emotional pain away. So I turned to physical pain. I took apart my eye liner penceil sharpener and took out the razor and cut up my hips (so no one would see it). I cut until I didn't have any room left to cut. Then I cried some more and gave up. Im not okay yet but I will be eventually I guess
I had the same thing happen only with my girlfriend, i took apart a pencil sharpner and went in the shower, i just sat down cutting my arms stomach and legs but are all hidden by cloths, i still cut today because every night i feel so lonely and so useless so i cut my legs or arms so i can sleep, im sorry to here about what happened but you will find someone better. It is his loss
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Old June 16th, 2016, 11:03 AM   #751
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

first time was a few weeks ago on my wrist ( healed) I guess it was because of stress now its just every so often on my thighs
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Old June 16th, 2016, 01:43 PM   #752
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

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Originally Posted by FlyOnTheWall View Post
first time was a few weeks ago on my wrist ( healed) I guess it was because of stress now its just every so often on my thighs
i really suggest that you stop before it gets out of hand allot of people told me that but i didn't listen and i often wish i had now

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Old June 16th, 2016, 02:34 PM   #753
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i really suggest that you stop before it gets out of hand allot of people told me that but i didn't listen and i often wish i had now
I am recoverying from an ed so it was like an alternate way of coping
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Old June 16th, 2016, 04:43 PM   #754
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Originally Posted by FlyOnTheWall View Post
I am recoverying from an ed so it was like an alternate way of coping
ah i see i have gone back and forth between cutting and my ed for a long time as well i honestly thought i was the only one on this site with and ed since the thread for it has been empty for so long we should chat maybe help each other?

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Old June 17th, 2016, 03:03 AM   #755
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

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Originally Posted by thatgothgirluknow View Post
ah i see i have gone back and forth between cutting and my ed for a long time as well i honestly thought i was the only one on this site with and ed since the thread for it has been empty for so long we should chat maybe help each other?
I didnt really want to go on there as I find it kind of triggering in recovery



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Old June 17th, 2016, 09:41 AM   #756
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Originally Posted by FlyOnTheWall View Post
I didnt really want to go on there as I find it kind of triggering in recovery
oh i see how that could be triggerin well any way good luck with recovery

u know u love the goth girl


do not live to survive but to thrive and secede

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Old December 3rd, 2016, 01:05 PM   #757
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My first time cutting was when my boyfriend said he was no longer in love with me. I remember being in the shower crying on the floor of the shower and I just remember wanting my emotional pain away. So I turned to physical pain. I took apart my eye liner penceil sharpener and took out the razor and cut up my hips (so no one would see it). I cut until I didn't have any room left to cut. Then I cried some more and gave up. Im not okay yet but I will be eventually I guess
Same thing happened to me, except it was my girlfriend, who was using me to get back at someone. Also I used a pocket knife.

My story is basically, my first girlfriend dumped me. She was using me to get back at someone else. When I turned to a friend for help, he told the only other person who I remotely liked that I liked her. Making me look like a moron. Then he laughed at me as my life fell apart.

Double posts merged. ~Lost Horizon

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Old December 30th, 2016, 04:55 PM   #758
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

I first cut when I was 12. I didn't really know what I was doing at first, I was trimming my hair and decided to cut my arm with the scissors. I wasn't even feeling sad just numb. It stopped for a year but from then on I began cutting whenever I felt stressed or down.
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Old January 14th, 2017, 10:40 PM   #759
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

Ok being honest here.. I am an ex-cutter and i still have some purple scars and white scars.. I recommend that you try hard t stop because its been a long time since but even still i have a very big urge to cut because it make me feel amazing it doesnt help me cope at all but it cuz looks good and feels good. I love my scars and that isnt normal in my eyes and i bet you r an amazing person and i dont want you to be like me. Good luck tho on no matter what you decide..

You're Welcome >.<
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Old January 15th, 2017, 09:26 AM   #760
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

First time cutting was June of last year when I hit a major low. I had harmed via other methods until that point.

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