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Old September 18th, 2013, 05:55 AM   #661
Blood_Thorn
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I cut was around when I was 14, I can't really remember what I was thinking but I ended up using the blade of a hacksaw.
Though the first time I really cut more than just a single bit was in November/December last year, after I had come back from a trip to Japan, and life just seemed dull and pointless and the only thing that I could really feel was pain. And the cutting was a sweet release because of the pain it brought...
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Old September 28th, 2013, 09:40 AM   #662
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First time self harmed, I was 11. I started off with skin scratching and hair pulling, but didn't identify it as self harm at the time. First time cutting was 4 years ago, when I was 18. I had just started university and I was very drunk and had a huge argument with a friend. I couldn't wait to get home so I sat on a bench down an alley in the middle of the city, got out a pocket knife and went to town on my arm. A girl found me crying my eyes out and took me home, and I spent the entire walk hoping she wouldn't notice my blood soaked shirt. I think she did, but she didn't say anything. Because I was drunk, I don't remember feeling anything - I guess this gave me motive to do it again (and again and again). Here I am, 4 years later (or 10 years later I guess) and not a lot has changed apart from becoming a little more inconspicuous about the placement of cuts (I favour my thighs now). The only marks on my arms now are the ones from that night and times when I haven't had access to a blade (mostly when I'm at a club) but I'm actually very fond of the scars from scratching. They seem to have more character to me than the monotonous rows of scars on my thighs.

Last edited by apod; September 28th, 2013 at 09:44 AM.
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Old September 28th, 2013, 08:05 PM   #663
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I self harmed was in Seventh grade. I am autistic and it was the first year I really talked. I got bullied a lot and a couple of the like 3 friends I had ditched my. I started scratching myself. After my best friend's boyfriend shoved my hand in a locker, got me in trouble, and got my friend to hate me I kind of lost it. I was suicidal and in a hospital for months. When I got out i didn't want to die, but I wanted the pain. I began to cut more and more and have cut on and off for the past 4 years.
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Old October 17th, 2013, 08:11 AM   #664
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

trust me man,the first time i did it..it's pleasurable, stop it now,..,it'll be hard for u to stop it.Once you've been addicted to it, you'll yearn for it more.
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Old October 17th, 2013, 05:17 PM   #665
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

It was about a year ago, and no one seemed to care about me. There was no one I could trust. Every friend I had ever let come close to me up until that point, and even now, had betrayed my trust and/or put me down to make themselves feel better. I still don't know what it feels like to have someone who really does care about you.
Anyway, all my parents seemed to be concerned with were my grades. Every conversation I ever had with them turned into "Why don't you try harder in school?" No matter what we were taking about. But no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough for them. So at this point, I was crying and crying and I couldn't stop feeling sick of myself and feeling like I couldn't take the emotional pain anymore. My parents told me to shut up when I cried because I cried excessively--I had cried myself to sleep almost every night since mid elementary school. My parents punished me severely because of school stuff and I got so angry that I couldn't control myself, and I cut myself without thinking about it. I think I did it because I felt guilty--I felt like I deserved it--and also because if I hadn't, I might have hurt someone else.
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Old October 20th, 2013, 09:32 AM   #666
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

It was about 2 months ago.
I was being forced to practice my instrument.
I sat outside and cried for half an hour, went into my room, cried another hour,
and then I had picked up a hunting knife and cut somewhat softly, and repeatedly.
In total I had cut myself 22 times (counted the marks).

It felt not too bad then. But it isn't the solution.
I knew that, but I couldn't ignore feeling hated.


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Old November 2nd, 2013, 07:48 AM   #667
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

first time cutting.. about 2 months ago as well. At the time I felt like I was slowly becoming detached from all of the people in my life for no particular reason. I became quite depressed and one night the urge to cut came again like it had a few nights before, but stronger. I didnt ignore it that time and immediately after felt much better. Unfortunately I felt much worse the next day.
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Old December 17th, 2013, 06:48 PM   #668
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The last time someone posted here was 2004...it's nearly 10 years later. I hope all of you are ok now. I'm not so fine. Hit thus forum is old so its cool.
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Old December 17th, 2013, 09:05 PM   #669
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The first time I started cutting was recently. My life seemed like it was all imploding and I could do nothing to stop it, nothing to stop all the pain. I was having a terrible day and I was just listening to music and I just broke down crying. I tried cutting and it just made me feel better, I don't know what it was that as so appealing to me, it just felt good. I have continued doing it and it has just became my way of coping with m pain.
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Old December 23rd, 2013, 08:48 AM   #670
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Why cut? That is what my friend did, I don't understand the purpose :/ I've bought her one bracelet, made out of thick leather and told her to cut on it. It actually worked, I have no idea how and why, but she eventually stopped completely.
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Old December 23rd, 2013, 01:39 PM   #671
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

the first time i cut was only a week ago but had been doing other things since a year ago when it happened i was mad because i had been shopping with my grandma all day and all she had done was yell at me and tell me how stupid i was and how i was always in the way
and i couldnt bear to listen any more even on the way home she screamed at me and had rode rage and i remmeber her calling me a liar witch she had done several times and had basicaly she that everything i said and did was a lie when i had never lied to her and i just snapped i was so hurt and so mad i refused to talk to her even look at her when i got home i went strainght to my room and cut my arm with a needle repeatedly the first time i had sh at all was when i was mad at a boy who had bullied me for a long time and he had put his hands on me i remmeber digging my nails into my hands and walking away and being silent for the rest of the day but of course then i dnt know what i had started

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Last edited by thatgothgirluknow; December 23rd, 2013 at 01:42 PM. Reason: forgot something
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Old December 28th, 2013, 02:29 AM   #672
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I cut was when i was 11. I did it because it felt like a release. I eventually stopped but it went on for a while. I stopped when i saw how ugly my wrists were getting.
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Old December 28th, 2013, 02:22 PM   #673
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

I cut for first time last February.
My alcoholic father nearly killed me while he was driving me home (drunk).
I know I shouldn't have had gone on that car with him but I did.
My life was already fucked up since my parents' divorce (I attempted suicide a few times when I was like 12).
I arrived home and started crying and told everything to my mother (she didn't know my father is bipolar and alcoholic).
And the only thing i remember after that was cutting myself with a Gillette razor blade... Ridiculous lol, but it was like waking up from a dream because I had dissociated so bad.
On August I started cutting more seriously, and I don't intend to stop.

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Old January 2nd, 2014, 02:56 AM   #674
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

the first time I cut was in 6th grade but I had thought about it long before that. The reason I cut? Its kind of a long story including a crazy schizophrenic and bipolar mom who doesn't care, a grandmother that says I'm just like her and beats me, and a father who does nothing to stop it. What I was thinking was probably along the lines of if no one gives a shit about me why should I? I stopped for a year but then my mom tried to contact me and it brought back memories I didn't want, so I started again even worse. I only told one person of my own free will but another friend found out after she saw my scars. Its really hard to quit trust me I've tried
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Old January 2nd, 2014, 05:37 AM   #675
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I cut was is 8th grade because it was the first time I realized that I was being used as a stand-in and wasn't truly cared about like I thought I had been and it's also when things started getting really tense between my mom and I. It sounds like a stupid reason but at the time, it was enough to push me past that initial ledge of starting to cut. Now, four and a half years later, I'm still doing it but much worse than it was.
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Old January 6th, 2014, 02:15 AM   #676
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The First Time I cut it was from my medicine and that was when I was 10 and it was with a pair of safety scissors don't remember it all just what my mom told me and now I do it when I get depressed and black out but the last time was about a year ago
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Old January 11th, 2014, 08:22 PM   #677
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I think I cut myself for the first time when I was 8 or 9. I was really upset and just started scratching myself till it was raw
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Old January 11th, 2014, 08:24 PM   #678
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I cut myself I was in 7th grade. 5 years ago. I was 12 then. Then 2 years later I started starving myself.


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Old February 3rd, 2014, 07:37 PM   #679
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time i did it was like in september 2013 i planned months before that..and I have been doing it since, the longest ive been without doing it was like 3 or 4 weeks..I did it a few days ago, I try to stop but I always end up doing it again...If you're thinking about doing it dont it will ruin your life trust me :/

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Old February 3rd, 2014, 10:22 PM   #680
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Default Re: First Time Cutting

The first time I cut I literally fainted in the bathroom! I woke up like a minute in shock because I could not believe to what I had come. So much success in my life to end up in the bathroom with blood running down the side of my wrist. At that time I felt like everyone was against me (including friends, family, and church) and I guess I just felt like no one could understand me. I also had gone through my break up with my first boyfriend so that added to my motivations. I continued for about 3 weeks until nearly all of my best friends sat down with me individually, cried, and talked with me about my motivations and worries. I guess this sort of proved their loyalty and concern about me and my health. But idk I kind of liked all the attention I received but I know I shouldn't have done it in the first place nor should I have enjoyed the "attention" that i received afterwards. But in the end I am proud to say that I have thrown the blade away after 3 weeks of self harm and I now use other healthier coping/stress relieving methods!!!
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