Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old October 18th, 2013, 01:08 PM   #1
laura k
New Member
 
Join Date: October 17, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

I'm a girl 16 and I'm living with my stepmom and stepbrother. He is 10 and he has ADD and some related stuff. His mom works nights and she pays me to babysit him.

He's a good kid and not much trouble but he has no sense of modesty about his body and his mom lets him go around the house naked. He says his skin "prickles". Also I have to give him baths and help him use the toilet. He can't seem to stay focused on things like this.

I'm not sure what to think about this stuff. His penis etc. is real small but a lot of times it's erect to various degrees for no reason. I don't think he's even aware of it but still. And helping him use the toilet seems kind of inappropriate or something. This wouldn't bother me so much but his penis tends to spray and afterwards it sort of spurts and drips, which is awkward to deal with.

His mom thinks I'm worrying too much about this stuff since he has a mental handicap. But he's not actually retarded or anything and it just doesn't seem quite right to me. Do you all think it's OK or not?
laura k is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 01:18 PM   #2
EncriptedTeenager
New Member
 
EncriptedTeenager's Forum Picture
 
Name: chris
Join Date: October 18, 2013
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Smile Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

well since he is family regardless of blood relations or not he still need help then so be it but strongly suggest getting some training for him to be able to do some things like bathroom himself. the age of 10 is the adiquit age time when he should be able to take care of himself. "depending on how severe the Handicap level is".
Likes: (1)
EncriptedTeenager is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 01:32 PM   #3
Luminous
Legendary Member
 
Luminous's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: July 21, 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Cisgender Female
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

It doesn't sound to me like he's being inappropriate. My guess is he doesn't know what sex is or what it means to have an erection, it's just natural for him. Encourage him to go to the bathroom on his own, tell him that he's big and not little and can learn to do it himself. Just because he has a mental handicap as you say doesn't mean he should be treated like a baby, and you should let him know that. When you give him a bath next time, instead of just doing it, explain to him what you're doing "Right now I'm using my fingers to put the shampoo in your hair" and encourage him to try it himself. Again, stress to him that he is growing up and he needs to learn to do things on his own. His penis dripping when he pees is natural, that happens to all guys, teach him to keep his penis over the toilet until he is positive his bladder is completely empty. Shake it out? I heard guys do that but I'm a girl so I can't be sure about that one. When he walks around nude, all you have to do is tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer he wore something. You can make a compromise, like a bathrobe or dressing gown, or just a shirt or just pants or even boxers. I have to go. Bye hon, and good luck!

val
Likes: (1)
Luminous is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 02:55 PM   #4
Paraxiom
neophyte ietsist
 
Paraxiom's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: August 25, 2013
Location: Ireland
Age: 22
Gender: Neutral
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Quote:
Originally Posted by xXPrincessXx View Post
It doesn't sound to me like he's being inappropriate. My guess is he doesn't know what sex is or what it means to have an erection, it's just natural for him. Encourage him to go to the bathroom on his own, tell him that he's big and not little and can learn to do it himself. Just because he has a mental handicap as you say doesn't mean he should be treated like a baby, and you should let him know that. When you give him a bath next time, instead of just doing it, explain to him what you're doing "Right now I'm using my fingers to put the shampoo in your hair" and encourage him to try it himself. Again, stress to him that he is growing up and he needs to learn to do things on his own. His penis dripping when he pees is natural, that happens to all guys, teach him to keep his penis over the toilet until he is positive his bladder is completely empty. Shake it out? I heard guys do that but I'm a girl so I can't be sure about that one. When he walks around nude, all you have to do is tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer he wore something. You can make a compromise, like a bathrobe or dressing gown, or just a shirt or just pants or even boxers. I have to go. Bye hon, and good luck!
Yes, exactly this.
Paraxiom is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 04:35 PM   #5
Luminous
Legendary Member
 
Luminous's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: July 21, 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Cisgender Female
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Quote:
Originally Posted by ContinuingToLive View Post
Yes, exactly this.
It's such a thrill when people do that (:

val
Luminous is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 04:37 PM   #6
Paraxiom
neophyte ietsist
 
Paraxiom's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: August 25, 2013
Location: Ireland
Age: 22
Gender: Neutral
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Quote:
Originally Posted by xXPrincessXx View Post
It's such a thrill when people do that (:
Recognition comes for those who deserve it.
^.^
Paraxiom is offline  
Old October 18th, 2013, 10:55 PM   #7
laura k
New Member
 
Join Date: October 17, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Thanks for the replies. It really helps to know how other people feel about this. And also that the stuff about his penis etc. I mentioned is just normal for boys. I obviously don't know much about this

What you folks said is almost exactly what I've been thinking. That he really should be starting to at least try do more of the "bathroom stuff" himself. My problem though is his mom doesn't think this, so it's kind of hard for me to accomplish much with him on my own, you know?

About him going around naked... this is kind of weird. I know his mom's taken him to doctors about this at least twice and they said it's psychosomatic (or whatever that word is). But he really does scratch a lot after he wears clothes for more than like 9-10 hrs. She's fine with just letting him go around naked, but I'm not really comfortable with it.

Thanks again for the replies.
laura k is offline  
Old October 19th, 2013, 06:01 AM   #8
Sandra Main
Banned
 
Name: Sandra
Join Date: July 9, 2013
Location: USA
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

I have 2 little brothers that I babysitte
and care for. They are ages 3 and
5 years old. They also run around the house naked all the time
and yes thay get erections as well. I got use to it and
ignore the little erections. I have learned that it is normal
for boy of all ages to get erections. BOYS WILL BE BOYS.
I also help them to bath and pottytrained them both.
At first I was weirded out by a naked boys and their little
erections but i got use to it and you will also in time.
I'm in hope that they will grow out if it in time and learn to wear clothes.
Sandra Main is offline  
Old October 19th, 2013, 08:03 AM   #9
ksdnfkfr
Banned
 
Join Date: August 28, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

I am autistic with adhd and required similar supervision at around that age (I am 13 now). You are caring for him as a nurse would. What you are doing is necessary and completely appropriate. I have grown out of needing this kind of supervision, and most likely he will too.

Keep in mind that if you become the mother of a son, you will have to be dealing with these same issues to a much greater degree for a number of years.
ksdnfkfr is offline  
Old October 19th, 2013, 02:53 PM   #10
laura k
New Member
 
Join Date: October 17, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

To everybody who has replied here.... I sure appreciate your thoughts and advice.

I guess my main concerns really were about his penis getting erect for no apparent reason and that I have to shake it quite a bit and stuff when I help him pee. This stuff is awkward and I didn't know if I was doing something wrong or if there was something wrong with his penis or what. Like I said last time.... I just don't know much about boys and I feel so much better knowing this stuff is just normal.

Ezra - There was something about your reply that kind of got to me. It was real eloquent (I guess that's the right word) and it helps me to kind of see this stuff through my stepbrother's eyes. It also helps me to know that you seem to be doing great and I hope my stepbrother will too. He's a sweet kid and even though maybe it doesn't sound like it from the stuff I've been talking about here, I love him like he was my real brother. Maybe more. Thanks.
laura k is offline  
Old October 19th, 2013, 11:38 PM   #11
Katiya
Nice Poster
 
Katiya's Forum Picture
 
Name: Anonymous ...no really...
Join Date: September 27, 2013
Location: The Neverlands
Gender: Female
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Hannah's right. That's the best way to go about it. And no o don't think he knows anything about sex so I wouldentbworry about that. Just be glad he's little and not an old man lol. I'd much rather take care of him then an older in person as that would make me uncomfortable.

I'm sure he can learn to use the to let and everything on hisown, if he can talk he can manage that unless he's physically handicapd an can not move himself. I know a severely downsyndrom kid who can do all of that him self. He's just gotta learn

~I do not try to give advice as much as I do just point out facts as I have found people like to make their own decisions in life, not be told what one is best to make~


Please excuse my typos. I'm usually on my phone and it has issues.
Katiya is offline  
Old October 19th, 2013, 11:48 PM   #12
ksdnfkfr
Banned
 
Join Date: August 28, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Quote:
Originally Posted by laura k View Post
Ezra - There was something about your reply that kind of got to me. It was real eloquent (I guess that's the right word) and it helps me to kind of see this stuff through my stepbrother's eyes. It also helps me to know that you seem to be doing great and I hope my stepbrother will too. He's a sweet kid and even though maybe it doesn't sound like it from the stuff I've been talking about here, I love him like he was my real brother. Maybe more. Thanks.
Thank you. And I understand exactly where you are coming from. I would feel uncomfortable having to deal with a little boy that way, even though I am a boy myself. It is definitely awkward and a chore one would rather avoid. Your brother is very fortunate to have you as his sister.
ksdnfkfr is offline  
Old October 20th, 2013, 12:58 AM   #13
laura k
New Member
 
Join Date: October 17, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Katiya - I agree with Hannah too. But like I mentioned earlier, my stepbrother's mom thinks it would put too much pressure on him or something. I kind of have to do what his mom wants, you know?

Ezra - Thanks for saying he's lucky to have me as his sister (I'm actually his stepsister). But you know what? I'm lucky to have him as my stepbrother. He's a great kid.

Well I just got back from a football game. A guy I like plays on our team and I'm feeling great tonight because he drove me home and he asked me out (yay!!). Anyways, you all helped me to get up the nerve to tell him about my situation with my stepbrother. He doesn't think it's a big deal and told me to just not worry about it. I guess maybe I should have asked a male about this stuff before but I was embarrassed.

ps. Somebody sent me a private message but I couldn't answer it because I don't have 100 posts. But the answer to your question is no. He's only 10 and I'm 16.
laura k is offline  
Old October 20th, 2013, 03:11 PM   #14
jhardy
Member
 
Name: Jillian
Join Date: May 29, 2011
Location: Eastern US
Gender: Female
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

It seems like you're working a bit of an uphill battle with your step-mom on this. But I think while you're sitting him you can help him to learn to take care of himself on his own more often. But what you're describing is a completely normal physical reaction for a boy. Erections just happen, especially when the penis is touched. If I were in your shoes, I would try to help teach him how to do those things in the bathroom, peeing and bathing, on his own. You might also want to try talking to your step-mom again and just mention that you'd like to help him learn to do this stuff on his own. If you show initiative and are willing to teach, she might be ok having him do more on his own.
jhardy is offline  
Old October 20th, 2013, 09:49 PM   #15
laura k
New Member
 
Join Date: October 17, 2013
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

jhardy - I think your reply kind of neatly sums up what has been said here. Your suggestions are pretty much what I'm thinking now.

To everybody - I have decided to try to quit worrying so much about this stuff and not make a big a deal about it with my stepbrother or his mom for now. That guy I talked to last night thinks the situation is a little odd but he doesn't think there's anything really wrong with it. And if I sort of "average out" the comments here, that's pretty much what they say too.

I'm afraid if I push too much on this stuff with my stepbrother or his mom, it's just going to get both of them upset. So I'm going to go real slow and easy with this, like jhardy suggested.

I've been worrying about this junk for like 2 months now and it really helped me to be able get it out in the open here. And there's no way I could have talked to that guy last night about this, if I hadn't discussed it here first. So THANK YOU everybody!!
laura k is offline  
Old October 10th, 2017, 01:15 AM   #16
cafteach
Banned
 
Name: Stanley
Join Date: October 10, 2017
Location: Tacoma
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

It sounds as if he has Autism Spectrum Disorder or Asperger's. I suggest you work with his parents to address your concerns. Loose fitting clothing may help, but ultimately if you are uncomfortable it is best to remove yourself from the situation and have his mother procure professional help. He will sense your being uncomfortable and this will exacerbate the issue at some point in time. That being said, "normal" boys often will go to/from the bath without clothing if they are in their own home up until puberty and think nothing of it. Just as they would at the Y or local swimming pool/gym. It's fairly normal. But you need not be assisting with toilet duties; that is for the parent or a professional aid.
cafteach is offline  
Old October 10th, 2017, 01:37 AM   #17
Dalcourt
Moderator
 
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
 
Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Neutral
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: Uncomfortable with babysitting my stepbrother

Please don't bump old threads thank you.
Dalcourt is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:24 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2018
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2018, VirtualTeen.org