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Old October 11th, 2004, 12:20 PM   #41
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no i get it...i just didnt see page 3...

Kiros72 Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 2:48 am Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got 1, but It's called the Voodoo Dildo, so it might not be friendly to all


i was asking about this...sorry...

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

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Old October 11th, 2004, 01:41 PM   #42
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No fee


A man suspected his young wife of being too friendly with another man, so he hired a famous Chinese detective, Won Lo Pan, to watch and report any activities that might develop.

A few days later he received this report: Honorable Sir, You leave house.

I watch house.

He come to house I watch.

He and she leave house.

I follow.

He and she get on train.

I follow.

He and she get off train.

I follow.

He and she go in hotel.

I climb tree, look in window.

He kiss she.

She kiss he.

He strip she.

She strip he.

He play with she.

She play with he.

I play with me.

Fall out of tree.

No see. No fee.

Thank you. Won Lo Pan

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Old October 11th, 2004, 01:48 PM   #43
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LOL!!!

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old October 11th, 2004, 06:37 PM   #44
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maybe this shouldnt be a sticky, not because it isny popular, but it makes no sence as a sticky

My Views Are Odd, I am Accutally a Republican
i dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy it
i swear to drunk im not god

pm me if anyone needs any kind of help, i probly know the answer you seek
i got a new email...
its gmail! it is: [email protected]
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Old October 12th, 2004, 08:37 AM   #45
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just do whatever....

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old October 12th, 2004, 03:36 PM   #46
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I think we should leave it as a joke sticky, i think i should have a say, since it was my idea to create it.

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Old October 12th, 2004, 03:37 PM   #47
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Test results


There was a man who just had been bashed up outside a night club,when he awoke he was in hospital with tubes in his arms and an oxygen mask on.

Just then a hot looking nurse came in and started to check his IV and tubes in his arms.

Then he moaned, "ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"

"Pardon?" said the nurse.

"ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"

"Sorry," she said. "I'm not qualified to check that."

Again he says, "ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"

Feeling sorry for him she says OK she'll check.

She picks them up and examines them and his penis then covers them up.

"Nope," she says, "there all OK".

He slowly reaches up takes off his oxygen mask and says, "THAT WAS VERY NICE DEAR BUT ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?"

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Old October 12th, 2004, 03:39 PM   #48
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Hotel Hell


Three men are on a road trip when they pull over to stay at a hotel that they see.

They go in and see the lady who apparently runs the joint and they ask her for a vacant room.

She replied, "Sure, but only if you DON'T go into the basement!"

The men agree and she gives them a room.

That night, the men are so curious that they sneak into the basement, only to find that it's full of chopped off dicks!

The woman that runs the place sees them and says, "Okay, now I'm going to have to add you all to my collection."

She asks the first man, "What does your father do for a living?"

He says, "Well, my dad is in the lawn mowing business."

So the woman finds a lawn mower and off goes his dick.

The woman asks the second man, "What does your father do for a living?"

He replies in tears, "My dad is in the tool supply industry."

So she finds a saw and off does his dick.

The woman then turns to the third guy only to see that he is laughing hysterically. "Why the hell are you laughing? Don't you know what's going to happen to you?"

He smiles and says, "Yeah, my dad is in the lollipop business, you're gonna hafta suck mine off!"

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Old October 14th, 2004, 03:11 PM   #49
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nice

The Years Have Been Short, But The Days Go Slowly By.
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Old October 14th, 2004, 03:40 PM   #50
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The 1st affair


A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8.00 p.m.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8.00 p.m."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!!"



The 2nd affair


There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.

The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time"!



The 3rd affair


A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwarz is dead!"


The 4th affair


A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly Sir, that'll be 1 cent".

"ONE CENT?" exclaimed the man.

The barman replied "Yes".

So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas and a fried egg?"

"Certainly, Sir" replies the barman, "but that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the man. "4 cents" he replied.

"FOUR CENTS?" exclaims the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "The same thing I'm doing to his business!!"

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Old October 14th, 2004, 03:49 PM   #51
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Josh

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Old October 16th, 2004, 06:22 PM   #52
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THATS FUNNY!


*im kinda making fun of blonds, but i aint a blond basher...so please dont take this the wrong way*

a brunet and 2 red heads were at the side walk watching a perade(i cant spell..) and were screaming "45 45 45!" a guy walked up and says "why are u saying 45?" the brunet says "just wait..." when she said that a blond walks in the middle of the perade and gets killed by a truck. then they say "46 46 46!"

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old October 18th, 2004, 06:43 PM   #53
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Somebody coming


A guy moves into an apartment complex.

He's putting his name on his mailbox when he hears a door open in the hall.

He glances towards the door and sees a gorgeous woman dressed only in a bathrobe come out.

He tries not to look at her as she gets her mail, but she engages him in conversation.

As they talk she turns to look down the hall and her robe opens slightly and he notices she is wearing only the robe.

They talk a little more, and she says, "Shhh, I think I hear somebody coming. Could we continue this conversation in my apartment?" He agrees to this.

As they talk in her apartment, she moves and her robe falls to the floor and he gets a good eyeful.

She then says, "Now that you've had a good look, what do you think is the best part of my body?"

He says, "Your ears."

She is downright speechless but finally replies, "My ears? Look at these breasts, look at this butt, look at my pussy. How can you say my ears?"

He replied, "Remember in the hall when you said you heard somebody coming?

That was me!"

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Old October 18th, 2004, 07:08 PM   #54
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Hahahahah nice

The Years Have Been Short, But The Days Go Slowly By.
~The Shins
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Old October 19th, 2004, 08:29 AM   #55
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hehe....a guy walks into a bar...and says oww.....ok...bad joke..lets see....oh yea!

the leprechaun! (in which i cant spell)

this leprechaun walks into a bar, orders a drink and chugs it down. when he is finished, he spits into the bartenders face...the bartender gets kinda mad,but lets it go...next day! the leprechaun walks in again...orders 2 drinks, chugs them down and spits into the bartenders face...the bartender grabs the leprechaun and says " if u do that 1 more time, ill cut off ur dick!" he lets the leprechaun go and it leaves...next day! the leprechaunwalks in again and orders 3 drinks! chugs them down and spits into the bartenders face....the bartender gets really mad, grabs a butcher knife and throws down the leprechaun's pants....there is no dick! "wait...how do u pee?" the leprechaun spits in his face.

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old October 24th, 2004, 12:16 PM   #56
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Laid


What did the egg say to the boiling water?

"It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night."

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Old November 8th, 2004, 12:03 AM   #57
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thats hella messed...yet funny...

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old November 8th, 2004, 12:14 AM   #58
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this guy...he he goes 2 a witch docter. then he ask the witch docter "i have a 15 inch dick and no woman wants 2 sleep with me...how do i make it smaller?" the witch docters says "there is a frog in the swamp....if u ask him 2 kiss u and he says no, it will shrink a little..." "THANKS!" replied the man and ran off. when he found the frog he said "mr. frog, will u kiss me?" the frog crocked "no" his dick shrinked down 2 12 inches "wow! mr. frog, will u kiss me?" "no" the frog crocked. it shrank down 2 9 inches "WOW! its a mirical! i think 6 inches will be best. mr. frog, will u kiss me?" the frog said in a normal voice "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE 2 TELL U!? NO NO NO!"

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
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Old November 8th, 2004, 06:23 AM   #59
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lol lol lol lol, that is messed up

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Old November 8th, 2004, 04:13 PM   #60
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i would of settled with 9

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