Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old October 3rd, 2004, 09:04 PM   #21
boognish
A Pleaser
 
Join Date: June 29, 2004
Location: somewhere in a galaxy far far away...
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

i'll tell you lies

My Views Are Odd, I am Accutally a Republican
i dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy it
i swear to drunk im not god

pm me if anyone needs any kind of help, i probly know the answer you seek
i got a new email...
its gmail! it is: [email protected]
boognish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 4th, 2004, 01:38 PM   #22
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Bragging


A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 4th, 2004, 06:34 PM   #23
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Default

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! thats great.....

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 4th, 2004, 09:56 PM   #24
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Two men on the beach


Two men,one a brunette and the other a blonde,were comparing their luck picking up girls at the beach. The brunette guy says, "what works for me is this : go to a grocery store, buy a potato and put it in your swim trunk."

The blonde guy thanks him and spends the next 5 hours roaming the beach with a potato in his swim trunks - with no luck. He says to his brunette friend that he DID put a potato in his swim trunks and had no luck. The brunette guy says to the blonde guy, "you ass-hole! The potato goes in the FRONT of your trunks, not the back!!!"

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 02:03 PM   #25
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Naked black men


An exquisite painting entitled "Home for Lunch" was on display in a Pennsylvania art gallery.

It depicted three naked, very black men sitting on a park bench.

What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.

Two women were staring at the painting, trying to figure it out. The artist noticed their confusion.

The artist asked, "Can I help you with this painting?"

One woman replied, "We were curious about the painting of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"I'm afraid you've misinterpreted the painting," the artist explained. "The three men are not African-Americans. They are Pennsylvania coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went 'Home for Lunch.' "

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 03:45 PM   #26
Stex
Member
 
Join Date: July 13, 2004
Location: England
Default

There was a bus going to Cleveland and there was a nun in it. The bus stopped to pick up a guy, and he was a hippy. The hippy sat next to the nun and said, "Hey baby want to have sex with me?" The nun slapped him across the face.

Well as the hippy got off at his bus stop, the bus driver said, "Hey I see that nun praying every night at that cemetery over there, if you go there dressed as God you could probably get her to have sex with you."

The hippy said thanks and got off the bus, then got dressed up like God with the robes and cream and powder and hid behind a grave in the graveyard. Well just as the bus driver said, the nun came to pray at around six thirty. The Hippy popped out from behind the grave and said, "I am God!"

The nun said, "Oh great and powerful one what can I do for you?"

The hippy said, "You must have sex with me."

So she did. Then the hippy jumped up and said, "Haha I am the hippy!"

And the nun jumped up and said, "Haha I am the bus driver!"
Stex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 04:14 PM   #27
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

haha lol thats a good one

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 04:27 PM   #28
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

Mating Bulls

A man takes his wife to the live stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice!"

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one!"

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The fed up man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was the same old cow every day."


List of Short Books


1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career Opportunities for History Majors
5) Contraception by Pope John Paul II
6) Detroit - A Travel Guide
7) Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
8) Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
9) Easy UNIX
10) Bulgarian Tips on World Dominance
11) Everything Men Know About Women
12) French Hospitality
13) Bob Dole: The Wild Years
14) How to Sustain a Musical Career by Art Garfunkel
15) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
17) Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
18) Popular Lawyers
19) Staple Your Way to Success
20) The Amish Phone Book

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 05:06 PM   #29
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Amnesia definition


Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 5th, 2004, 07:12 PM   #30
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

BLONDE STAR - Always there, because you're always blonde.

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 7th, 2004, 03:42 PM   #31
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06
VT Lover
 
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 3, 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dante2587
Give Up Drugs


Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" the judge asked.

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: -- O o -- and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second guy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded one hundred fifty six people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"That many people! How amazing! How did you manage to do that!" the judge asked.

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison,'" he said.


HOLY SH** I FELL OF MY CHAIR LAUGHING SO HARD

The Years Have Been Short, But The Days Go Slowly By.
~The Shins
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 8th, 2004, 12:58 PM   #32
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Do it again


One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to Inverness.

Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. He's built like a wardrobe and despite the wind and near-freezing temperatures, is only wearing a kilt and a tweed shirt.

At the roadside there also stands a beautiful young woman, slim, shapely, a heart stopper.

The driver's attention is drawn from the woman when the highlander opens the car door and drags the man onto the road.

"Right, you," shouts the highlander, "I want you to masturbate."

"But...." stammers the driver. "Now.... or I'll bloody kill you."

So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this only takes a few seconds.

"Right," says the highlander, "Do it again!"

"But...." stammers the driver.

"Now! yells the highlander.

So the driver pulls himself off again.

"Right, do it again," demands the highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours.

The poor man has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw and despite the icy wind, has collapsed in a sweating, gibbering heap on the ground.

"Do it again," says the highlander.

"I can't," whimpers the driver. "You'll just have to kill me."

The highlander looks down at this pathetic wreck of a man slumped at his feet.

"All right," he says, "NOW you can give my daughter a lift into Inverness"

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 8th, 2004, 01:04 PM   #33
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

LMAO! Holy poo thats funny! Nice one Dante

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 8th, 2004, 07:47 PM   #34
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

i was wondering where it was going with him masterbat.iong for 2 hors

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 9th, 2004, 10:28 AM   #35
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kpmurphy100
i dont get it!
read it again carefully

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 9th, 2004, 01:35 PM   #36
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

its funny b/c the highlander wants him to masturbate enough to where he wont have a single thought of having sex with his daughter
LOL i cant believe that, who came up with it?

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 9th, 2004, 02:32 PM   #37
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Default

LOL!!!

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 10th, 2004, 09:48 PM   #38
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

I got 1, but It's called the Voodoo Dildo, so it might not be friendly to all

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 10th, 2004, 10:04 PM   #39
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

LMAO!
Now thats funny!

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 11th, 2004, 08:56 AM   #40
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Default

uhh...like what do u mean?

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:32 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org