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View Poll Results: Have you ever felt prolonged sadness?
No 0 0%
Yes 3 100.00%
I actually feel it now... 2 66.67%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 3. You may not vote on this poll

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Old September 18th, 2013, 11:58 PM   #1
VT Lover
Lovelife090994's Forum Picture
Name: Valentine
Join Date: December 31, 2012
Location: From Ohio now in Texas
Gender: Male
Default Of Masks And Tears, When Will My False-Happiness Performance End?

We have all cried, I know I have.
Pain hurts, depression hurts whether you seem emotionless or not.
Loneliness hurts and can worse than the deepest of cuts.
Sadly so many fail to realize how crying isn't always a sign of weakness. Yet in this society many see tears as a problem.

I have dealt with lonliness and being an outcast mixed with confusions of my mind, family, parents, and sexuality and many things and I've had my cries. It hurts sometimes when each tear is like ice running down your face and then you try to hide your sadness with masks each day.

My family sadly didn't understand me, saying how bad I was to be a crybaby and confused saying to pray it away and even though I have faith and will never leave it the tears still come. True things could be worse but maybe years of being unsure, my mother's financial woe's as a single parent, mixed with me being ostracized and quite small have near shattered me, no matter I know not to give up. Alas, I feel as if I can make it but I wish I didn't think of things so much, but now with me as a young 19 yr old at home after I failed to have the money for college and little plans of the future I have too much time to think.

If only I could be like everyone else, so sure, so happy but instead it's like I see everyone's life moving by and they are happy and here I am just sitting alone and in slow motion. I know, I know, being sad and lonely isn't great and many have said to reach out, I try, I honestly do but it's as if I can and can't like I'm scared of social interaction almost. You'd never know this from looking at me or talking with me because I never mention this but it's true.

Thank you for reading this, I know things will get better but I had to let this out... I'm actually tearing a bit now.

My Wiccan blog: Blessed be am but a wayward soul traversing the physical plane with Earth as my mistress and I her humble witch.

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Old September 19th, 2013, 03:26 AM   #2
Blood_Thorn's Forum Picture
Join Date: September 18, 2013
Gender: Agender
Default Re: Of Masks And Tears, When Will My False-Happiness Performance End?

I know how you feel, because I feel the same except pain is the only emotion that seems real any more. But whenever I am around friends or family I try to put on a facade of at least slight happiness. But you always try to think positive even if it is the smallest of things such as enjoying a cookie or relaxing in a hot shower
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