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Old February 26th, 2013, 10:00 PM   #1
MrtheJMANperson
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Name: Jacob
Join Date: February 26, 2013
Location: Connecticut
Gender: Male
Exclamation Need Help for Shy Boy

Im 14,male, 5ft11, and I am incredibly shy. I am somewhat popular but I am having trouble talking to anyone, girls in particular. I just have no idea what to say, or how/what to add to the conversation. I'm somewhat popular because I played football and made up a stupid little dance that everyone loves. I wouldn't consider myself to be a hot guy. I would like to know any tips on how to fix my general shyness, and then specifically the "talking to girls" part. Thank you for your suggestions.
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Old February 26th, 2013, 10:26 PM   #2
AbbaZabba
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Join Date: April 11, 2012
Location: Myrtle Beach
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

First, quit labeling yourself. Saying your shy doesn't help. Sounds like people like you, so you have nothing to be shy about.

Shyness is a weak self image. Again, people like you, you play football, be proud of yourself. Learn to like yourself.

Focus on the other people, listen to what they have to say and don't worry about what you should say.

As for the girls, there is no magic answer. Don't be afraid of rejection, your going to have to jump into the snake pit and you will not always win, but keep trying. It will get easier every time. You are going to have to practice your social skills to gain experience. If you're trying to get a date, try a movie first. You got a couple hours you don't have to talk and after the movie you'll have something to talk about. Direct your conversation toward her, girls like to yak, plus it makes us feel good, it shows you are interested in us.

I can only speak for myself, but I love eye contact, so don't look all over the place. I am all about communication, and not all girls are like me, but I'd rather you tell me you are nervous, it will get it off your chest and I will try to make you feel better. Try to avoid this though, some girls don't like weaknesses, but they don't bother me.

Focus on the moment, and not about your worries. Good Luck Jacob, wish you the best.
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Old February 27th, 2013, 01:35 AM   #3
anyone50
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Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbaZabba View Post
First, quit labeling yourself. Saying your shy doesn't help. Sounds like people like you, so you have nothing to be shy about.

Shyness is a weak self image. Again, people like you, you play football, be proud of yourself. Learn to like yourself.

Focus on the other people, listen to what they have to say and don't worry about what you should say.

As for the girls, there is no magic answer. Don't be afraid of rejection, your going to have to jump into the snake pit and you will not always win, but keep trying. It will get easier every time. You are going to have to practice your social skills to gain experience. If you're trying to get a date, try a movie first. You got a couple hours you don't have to talk and after the movie you'll have something to talk about. Direct your conversation toward her, girls like to yak, plus it makes us feel good, it shows you are interested in us.

I can only speak for myself, but I love eye contact, so don't look all over the place. I am all about communication, and not all girls are like me, but I'd rather you tell me you are nervous, it will get it off your chest and I will try to make you feel better. Try to avoid this though, some girls don't like weaknesses, but they don't bother me.

Focus on the moment, and not about your worries. Good Luck Jacob, wish you the best.
I agree and sounds like good advise.

17F BI
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Old February 27th, 2013, 10:16 AM   #4
xmojox
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Name: Cole
Join Date: March 31, 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Age: 16
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Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

I agree with AbbaZabba like 500%. They way you get used to talking to people is by talking to people. The most important thing you can do in any conversation is to listen. What you hear is more important than what you say. Good luck to you!

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

--Benjamin Franklin
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Old February 27th, 2013, 02:21 PM   #5
MrtheJMANperson
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Name: Jacob
Join Date: February 26, 2013
Location: Connecticut
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Unhappy Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

Thanks,
I have asked a couple of girls out but I may have not been very confident while doing so, I'm more confident then I was then but I don't know who is dating who. I don't want to look like too much of a weirdo and ask them about it but I have no idea who I could ask. Once, by accident I told this guy that I thought one of the girls in my french class is cute and he told her. She jokes about it but i don't think she takes it that seriously, like if I was to ask her out. She always talks to her friends in code about a certain guy, she calls him G-Man. It might be referring to me but I highly doubt so. Any advice on this would be appreciated.
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Old March 1st, 2013, 07:17 AM   #6
xmojox
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Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrtheJMANperson View Post
Thanks,
I have asked a couple of girls out but I may have not been very confident while doing so, I'm more confident then I was then but I don't know who is dating who. I don't want to look like too much of a weirdo and ask them about it but I have no idea who I could ask. Once, by accident I told this guy that I thought one of the girls in my french class is cute and he told her. She jokes about it but i don't think she takes it that seriously, like if I was to ask her out. She always talks to her friends in code about a certain guy, she calls him G-Man. It might be referring to me but I highly doubt so. Any advice on this would be appreciated.
Take a plunge and ask her, bro. Worst case is she declines. I wouldn't be surprised if she says yes, though.

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

--Benjamin Franklin
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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:57 AM   #7
Miggy_C
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Name: Miguel
Join Date: January 3, 2013
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Gender: Male
Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

Just talk about stuff you would your guy friends but not the stuff that's exclusively guy stiff. Like video games (unless she's into that stuff), gross stuff, etc. get to know the girls interests, let her know your interests and that starts a conversation and just go with it like you were talking to your guy friends.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 08:59 PM   #8
MrtheJMANperson
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Name: Jacob
Join Date: February 26, 2013
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Default Re: Need Help for Shy Boy

I am also a bit of a gamer, so i'm not sure that could go so well with most of the girls in my school.
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