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Old February 17th, 2013, 01:08 PM   #1
struggling
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Default once a cutter always a cutter

i read somewhere that " once a cutter always a cutter. you may stop cutting but you will never stop missing it"

that really hit me
is this how i'm going to be at 25 or 30
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Old February 17th, 2013, 01:14 PM   #2
Atonement
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I think this statement is true for some. Not all.

Let me be clear, I don't "miss" self-harm. Are there times where I want to do it? Yes. But I'm not wanting to welcome it back like and old friend. I want to resist it because it's a bitch of a "friend".

You will some day get to a point in your life when you won't think about self-harm for a long period of time and be proud that it's left your mind. I'm going on 3 years and 9 months with self-harm, but it still crosses my mind when times get rough. However, I am no longer a cutter because I have made a concrete commitment to myself that I'm done with it.

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Old February 17th, 2013, 02:40 PM   #3
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I really hope not...I don't want to live with this all my life. I think that means that you'll always understand what it means to be a cutter, not that you'll always cut. I can't see myself being fifty (if I get that far) and still cutting and bruising myself. However I guess I don't know myself very well because when I was eight I said I would never cut...

"When we cut, we're in control - we make our own pain and we can stop it whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. For a brief moment, the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutter's mind, and when that stops and the other comes back, it is weaker."
- Shelley Stoehr.

"It can't be terrible forever."
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Old February 17th, 2013, 06:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I guess it means you always remember. I don't think it means you always want to relapse. It will probably get less painful as time goes by (I can't vouch for this, though). I hope it will get better, at least.

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Old February 19th, 2013, 03:40 PM   #5
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I really hate the word "cutter." It makes me cringe. It makes it sound like a fad, as though you're defining yourself by that. If someone says "I'm a cutter," it sounds like they're saying "This is who I am," when it's not who you are, it's what you do. You do it to cope with things etc, it doesn't define you, you are not a "cutter." I know this is a bit of a stretch, but I think that this word makes self harm sound less serious, as though it's just a fad and it doesn't really matter. I just don't like it.

Anyway, back on topic.
I think there will be times when you want to do it, even if you haven't self harmed in years, but that doesn't mean it'll still be a problem for you. I still get urges now, but I'm better at dealing with the urges and I know how to get through them. Hopefully, the urges will become less and less intense until they're just a small thought at the back of my mind in stressful situations. Personally, I don't think it'll always be a problem for me, but I think that at least for the next few years I'll have urges every now and then and will have to resist, but that doesn't bother me because I know that as long as I'm still okay I'll be able to.
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Old February 19th, 2013, 09:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

Quote:
Originally Posted by georgiamay View Post
I really hate the word "cutter." It makes me cringe. It makes it sound like a fad, as though you're defining yourself by that. If someone says "I'm a cutter," it sounds like they're saying "This is who I am," when it's not who you are, it's what you do. You do it to cope with things etc, it doesn't define you, you are not a "cutter." I know this is a bit of a stretch, but I think that this word makes self harm sound less serious, as though it's just a fad and it doesn't really matter. I just don't like it.

Anyway, back on topic.
I think there will be times when you want to do it, even if you haven't self harmed in years, but that doesn't mean it'll still be a problem for you. I still get urges now, but I'm better at dealing with the urges and I know how to get through them. Hopefully, the urges will become less and less intense until they're just a small thought at the back of my mind in stressful situations. Personally, I don't think it'll always be a problem for me, but I think that at least for the next few years I'll have urges every now and then and will have to resist, but that doesn't bother me because I know that as long as I'm still okay I'll be able to.
This whole post x49440342. Couldn't agree more.

Just like with anything, you will likely want to do it for a while. Whether it's self harm or alcohol or drugs or purging or anything, honestly. As Georgia perfectly said, it's about controlling the urges and dealing with them in the right ways. I agree also that it won't always be a problem. I might remember about it forever, but remembering it and doing it are different.

So. No. It's not 'once a self harmer always a self harmer'. Maybe think of it more as: "Once a self harmer, always a warrior'.

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Old February 23rd, 2013, 04:38 PM   #7
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I saw this as a picture on Tumblr, its true in the sense that once you start that you will never be the same again even after you stop and the want to cut may haunt you forever

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Old February 24th, 2013, 01:08 AM   #8
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Default Re: once a cutter always a cutter

I first cut myself when I was around 12 or 13. I had been cutting for a few months when my mom found out. The fact that I didn't like my life and that I cut my self had hurt my mom so much. I went to counseling and all that stuff but it never really helped. I still wanted to cut myself, but I resisted. I didn't want to hurt my mom anymore than I already had. Today, 2 and a half years later, I still feel the urge to harm myself. I dont really miss it, but I will never forget doing.
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