Need help

Is it bad to say that I like to cut? To see the blood dripping from my wrist. The way I can actually control the pain. It feels good too actually feel something. I sound crazy I know, but it is true. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do. I know I need help, but is it bad that I don't want it? I just want someone to talk to..someone who actually understands..

Originally Posted by kate_b1726

Is it bad to say that I like to cut? To see the blood dripping from my wrist. The way I can actually control the pain. It feels good too actually feel something. I sound crazy I know, but it is true. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do. I know I need help, but is it bad that I don't want it? I just want someone to talk to..someone who actually understands..

Most people like self harming to a certain extent, for exactly those reasons you stated so many of us here understand what you're going through. It doesn't sound crazy in the slightest. Personally, I never liked the blood aspect of it, it was more about the pain being controlled. You don't have to get help unless you personally want to. I mean, I never did until I actually stopped, I don't know why I waited that long - but I do know it helped. I mean, I don't self harm to the extent that I used to and that's all through talking really. You don't need professional help to get better, anyone can help really, you just have to be willing to talk and to let someone in. That's all it is really. I know I'm making it sound simple, and no I'm not saying it is, I'm saying it is possible but only if you want to and if you have the willpower to do something about it. You said you need help, so obviously you want to get better, and stop, eventually anyway. Anyone on here that self harms is always willing to talk, that's one thing you'll find here.

I don't think its wrong. I can say I like to see it too.

I feel the exact same way. I think I'm screwed up too...I just don't understand how something that everybody else looks down upon, I get some sort of...kick out of it. It feels really good, to be able to control the pain, and when I'm doing it it's the only pain that I'm focused on, nothing else. Like my favorite quote, it's the only thing in my mind, even if for just a moment, it's the only thing I can focus on. I hate to say it but, I love cutting. It's just become a part of me now.