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Old May 17th, 2012, 10:50 PM   #21
Maverick
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

I suppose you're right. Telling is one thing... actually living it and incorporating it into your life is another battle though.

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Old May 21st, 2012, 10:33 PM   #22
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

I came out to my mom via MSN messenger to reduce the face-to-face awkwardness. I just turned 14 when I did.
I told her that I had a girlfriend over the internet and she was okay with it.

She's proud of who I am and couldn't be happier. My dad, on the other hand, makes stupid jokes but since he's verbally abused me my entire life, I just disregard it.

I always tell my friends to write a letter to their parents if they're afraid to say anything. It's worked every time. (:

As for friends, I always just said I was gay right off the bat... so I found friends that could relate or accepted me for who I am. I suffered from social anxiety at the time, so I didn't really have any, anyways.

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Old May 22nd, 2012, 02:59 PM   #23
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

{Mine is quite embarrassing}
i was about 13 or 15, i did exploring on the internet many times on my mothers computer. but a one time she opened her computer and BOOM there was some. so she confronted me and we had a long talk and thankfully she was OK with it. but she thought it would be a good idea to see a therapist, which was fine. but the huge problem was my father. my mother told him like 6 months later and he was in denial for a few years and comes to accept. my dads side of the family supports me 51%. my moms side of the family supports me 100%. so by today i am the only gay member of my entire family. the only openly gay (white)guy in my school. so far its going good for me in terms of my coming out.
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Old May 22nd, 2012, 05:40 PM   #24
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Oh snap you people type a lot! Well I made a status on facebook saying if i get 100 likes I will comment my biggest secret , I AM GAY!

Add me bitches<3
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Old May 22nd, 2012, 10:15 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gayprideguy12 View Post
{Mine is quite embarrassing}
i was about 13 or 15, i did exploring on the internet many times on my mothers computer. but a one time she opened her computer and BOOM there was some. so she confronted me and we had a long talk and thankfully she was OK with it. but she thought it would be a good idea to see a therapist, which was fine. but the huge problem was my father. my mother told him like 6 months later and he was in denial for a few years and comes to accept. my dads side of the family supports me 51%. my moms side of the family supports me 100%. so by today i am the only gay member of my entire family. the only openly gay (white)guy in my school. so far its going good for me in terms of my coming out.
I am glad that you came out and cool story :p
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Old May 29th, 2012, 12:07 AM   #26
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Honestly, at first when I realized I was bisexual leading towards masculine figures(not men, masculine figures) I didn't feel there was a need to tell anyone. This was because I was happy with staying with "butch" women or trying for transgendered boys (ftm). After a while, I started having an interest in biological men and guys. It took a shit fuck ton amount of time to admit,"that hey I'm more than hetero" to myself. But hey, it wasn't impossible.

So the first time I really recognized this was when I was 13,and I told my mum. I was really freaking out, seeing the way the gay/queer community is treated. I felt like if I wasn't straight, I wasn't going to be able to be that doctor with the nice house or be that person house wife/husband. I was fearing I'd end up as the media's image of a gay camp boy(how Ironic). But she told me it might just be hormones at let time settle it out.

Over that amount of time, from 13-15 I slowly became more attracted to guys. I can't say I'm still not attracted to girls, I like guys a lot. I also noticed a big realization of my gender. Around January I officially came out to my mum. I sort of have been giving signals off to her, and I think she took them. Over all she took me being bisexual and gender neutral very well. She said she'd rather see me end up with a woman, but what happens happens.

I have yet to come out to my father, nor do I plan to.

I came out to some people at school, who are bi/gender variant/anything but straight and I actually had a harder time with them keeping it all under wraps versus my straight friends I told. Some people did tell other people shit, which is why I say be very careful with you tell your business too.

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Old June 1st, 2012, 07:40 PM   #27
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Coming out has been a nerve-racking process for me, and im only in the beginning of it. I've come out to two of my friends. Numero uno is one of my closest friends, and basically how i told her was, one day we had a guest speaker in one of my classes and she noticed me staring at him (he was really hot) xD Anyways, I texted her later, because I didnt want to leave her seeing THAT and than not having the truth. So i 'fessed up and told her everything. She's now the person I tell absolutely everything to, and she tells me everything too. Now the second was another friend, but were not as close. I kinda regret telling her, only because i'm afraid she'll tell someone else. I dont think she will, but I was so eager to just tell anyone, i kinda just blurted it out. I just want to remind everyone out there to just assess how much you trust a person before you come out to them. I've learned my lesson and luckily no one else knows in public that im bi/questioning. Once I figure out where I stand with girls, im hoping to come out to my parents and at school as either gay/bi. FINGERS CROSSED I FIGURE THIS OUT SOON!

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Old June 1st, 2012, 08:20 PM   #28
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Kind of funny story:

I was debating whether or not to tell my friend I was gay, so I sent her an exploratory text saying "how would you react if I was bi."

She asked me if I was serious. I didn't want to lie to her, so I didn't follow through. But saying no, on the contrary, only made me seem like I was in denial. I further explained, but the way the texts were worded (it was late at night) only confirmed what I had said.

She now thinks I'm bi. Now, I'll just have to tell her I'm really only gay.
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Old June 13th, 2012, 05:26 PM   #29
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Well, my school and family thinks im gay. But i'm bisexual. I held hands with my, now ex, boyfriend in school. So I was the talk of the school for days.. They think i'm GAY. I don't care what they think so i'm not going to 'come out' there for a while.

On the other hand....FAMILY. UUgh, They think i'm gay, they tell me: we dont want you to feel ashamed! It's OKAY.
But i'm bisexual, so when my stepdad asks if i'm gay i say no. BUT I DON'T SAY I'M STRAIGHT. I wish they could get the hint! BUT, my mom thinks bisexuality is kinda...fake. She says, "why can't they just choose one?" my dad says the same thing. So i'm afraid to come out as a bisexual. BUT I WANT TO. I want EVERYONE to know. I want a boyfriend from my school. One that will 'come out' with me! And he doesn't have to be from my school...just my area. And if I came out, i'd probably be one step closer!

So, i'd like REAL ADVICE.
Meaning, not (come out) or (It will be good for you and everyone).
I WANT REAL, GOOD ADVICE.

14. Bisexual. Male. Talk to me
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Old June 13th, 2012, 10:09 PM   #30
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Tonight I came out to my mom. We were talking about various things, which lead to one thing that lead to another, and we somehow got onto the topic of me being unhappy. She wanted to know why I was unhappy, and I said that I felt kind of lonely, which made her upset/sad. She asked why I was feeling lonely and if I've felt like this for a while - I told her that I just felt alone. She started saying how I have good friends, so I told her that it had nothing to do with them, but the fact that I haven't ever had a good relationship. After discussing that, and hearing the typical things like: "You don't always need to find love in high school", "Not having a girlfriend in high school isn't the end of the world", "you could have any girl that you want," etc.. I started to think how I should just say it to get it over with because I'm starting to care less about people knowing, and it would seem right that my mother should know since we're talking about relationships and how I'm unhappy with my situation. We talked a little bit more before I said "Can I tell you something? You just need to promise that you're going to keep it to yourself for now, you can't tell anyone, I mean it." She said yes and seemed kind of suspicious since I've never really said anything like that before, and then I told her and she asked if I was sure and if I wasn't just confused. I explained to her that I'd been sure for a while now, and that there isn't any doubt at all. We didn't talk very in depth because her boyfriend came home, and that isn't a conversation I want to have when he's around, but we agreed to have that talk in the near future. After that she hugged me and said "I'm your biggest fan, I love you" and we carried on the night as we normally would.

Always here to help. Don't hesitate to PM me.


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Old June 14th, 2012, 07:27 PM   #31
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCoolBeans View Post
Tonight I came out to my mom. We were talking about various things, which lead to one thing that lead to another, and we somehow got onto the topic of me being unhappy. She wanted to know why I was unhappy, and I said that I felt kind of lonely, which made her upset/sad. She asked why I was feeling lonely and if I've felt like this for a while - I told her that I just felt alone. She started saying how I have good friends, so I told her that it had nothing to do with them, but the fact that I haven't ever had a good relationship. After discussing that, and hearing the typical things like: "You don't always need to find love in high school", "Not having a girlfriend in high school isn't the end of the world", "you could have any girl that you want," etc.. I started to think how I should just say it to get it over with because I'm starting to care less about people knowing, and it would seem right that my mother should know since we're talking about relationships and how I'm unhappy with my situation. We talked a little bit more before I said "Can I tell you something? You just need to promise that you're going to keep it to yourself for now, you can't tell anyone, I mean it." She said yes and seemed kind of suspicious since I've never really said anything like that before, and then I told her and she asked if I was sure and if I wasn't just confused. I explained to her that I'd been sure for a while now, and that there isn't any doubt at all. We didn't talk very in depth because her boyfriend came home, and that isn't a conversation I want to have when he's around, but we agreed to have that talk in the near future. After that she hugged me and said "I'm your biggest fan, I love you" and we carried on the night as we normally would.
It's amazing coming out to your mum, it's a lot easier telling her stuff like if you think this guy is cute, or if you think he is cute and get advice. It will take her some time to get completely around it lol, my mum still thinks I'm confused, but the best thing is she's ok with it !

My pronouns are they/them/theirs.
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Old June 18th, 2012, 09:07 AM   #32
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCoolBeans View Post
Tonight I came out to my mom. We were talking about various things, which lead to one thing that lead to another, and we somehow got onto the topic of me being unhappy. She wanted to know why I was unhappy, and I said that I felt kind of lonely, which made her upset/sad. She asked why I was feeling lonely and if I've felt like this for a while - I told her that I just felt alone. She started saying how I have good friends, so I told her that it had nothing to do with them, but the fact that I haven't ever had a good relationship. After discussing that, and hearing the typical things like: "You don't always need to find love in high school", "Not having a girlfriend in high school isn't the end of the world", "you could have any girl that you want," etc.. I started to think how I should just say it to get it over with because I'm starting to care less about people knowing, and it would seem right that my mother should know since we're talking about relationships and how I'm unhappy with my situation. We talked a little bit more before I said "Can I tell you something? You just need to promise that you're going to keep it to yourself for now, you can't tell anyone, I mean it." She said yes and seemed kind of suspicious since I've never really said anything like that before, and then I told her and she asked if I was sure and if I wasn't just confused. I explained to her that I'd been sure for a while now, and that there isn't any doubt at all. We didn't talk very in depth because her boyfriend came home, and that isn't a conversation I want to have when he's around, but we agreed to have that talk in the near future. After that she hugged me and said "I'm your biggest fan, I love you" and we carried on the night as we normally would.
Great Job Mike !! My mom is borderline homophobic and my grandma is EXTREMELY homophobic so I'm not coming out for a while ...

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Old June 19th, 2012, 11:30 AM   #33
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCoolBeans View Post
Tonight I came out to my mom. We were talking about various things, which lead to one thing that lead to another, and we somehow got onto the topic of me being unhappy. She wanted to know why I was unhappy, and I said that I felt kind of lonely, which made her upset/sad. She asked why I was feeling lonely and if I've felt like this for a while - I told her that I just felt alone. She started saying how I have good friends, so I told her that it had nothing to do with them, but the fact that I haven't ever had a good relationship. After discussing that, and hearing the typical things like: "You don't always need to find love in high school", "Not having a girlfriend in high school isn't the end of the world", "you could have any girl that you want," etc.. I started to think how I should just say it to get it over with because I'm starting to care less about people knowing, and it would seem right that my mother should know since we're talking about relationships and how I'm unhappy with my situation. We talked a little bit more before I said "Can I tell you something? You just need to promise that you're going to keep it to yourself for now, you can't tell anyone, I mean it." She said yes and seemed kind of suspicious since I've never really said anything like that before, and then I told her and she asked if I was sure and if I wasn't just confused. I explained to her that I'd been sure for a while now, and that there isn't any doubt at all. We didn't talk very in depth because her boyfriend came home, and that isn't a conversation I want to have when he's around, but we agreed to have that talk in the near future. After that she hugged me and said "I'm your biggest fan, I love you" and we carried on the night as we normally would.
mikey im sooo proud of u

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Old June 19th, 2012, 06:04 PM   #34
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

I think I've finally came to terms that I am bisexual; i've been questioning and denying it for a while, but I finally think I'm comfortable now with the fact that I'm bi.
I have came out to 1 person, and it was not as dramatic at all.
We're good friends, just talking on facebook after the school year had ended. We were just talking about "normal" stuff, and he made a joke about living in my attic. That carried on to boy talk, then the SF pride and how I was thinking of going. then he admitted to me that "i'm gay, by the way". That's exactly what he said, plain and simple. I said nothing wrong with that, and told him that I was bi, but had not come out to anyone after that. And while of course it wouldn't make sense for him to be not okay with that (seeing that he's gay), our relationship was a little more close and awkward at the same time. He removed me from his friends list for some time, until I requested him again..
Pretty lame, but I will definitely be posting my coming out experience when it comes to my parents... that should be more interesting.
And I just changed my "Interested in" on facebook
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Old June 19th, 2012, 06:22 PM   #35
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

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I think I've finally came to terms that I am bisexual; i've been questioning and denying it for a while, but I finally think I'm comfortable now with the fact that I'm bi.
I have came out to 1 person, and it was not as dramatic at all.
We're good friends, just talking on facebook after the school year had ended. We were just talking about "normal" stuff, and he made a joke about living in my attic. That carried on to boy talk, then the SF pride and how I was thinking of going. then he admitted to me that "i'm gay, by the way". That's exactly what he said, plain and simple. I said nothing wrong with that, and told him that I was bi, but had not come out to anyone after that. And while of course it wouldn't make sense for him to be not okay with that (seeing that he's gay), our relationship was a little more close and awkward at the same time. He removed me from his friends list for some time, until I requested him again..
Pretty lame, but I will definitely be posting my coming out experience when it comes to my parents... that should be more interesting.
And I just changed my "Interested in" on facebook
Great job, Pat Takes a lot of courage to start the process, it only gets easier from that point forward. I've found that the more I tell people the easier it becomes; but that doesn't meant that you need to run out and tell everyone and anyone if you aren't comfortable or ready for them to know. Telling your parents is the big one, and I've only done one half of that step. I wish you the best of luck with all of this, and if you need anything along the way you know how to get to me

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Old June 21st, 2012, 03:27 PM   #36
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

I came out to my friend the other day.

My friend and I were talking and I'm like.. "yeah.. I'm pansexual. That's why I keep sayin' all these guys are cute."
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Old June 23rd, 2012, 06:31 AM   #37
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Well, I just told my dad I was bi..at the worst possible time ever.
I told at 4:10 AM.. He was half asleep but I just wanted to let him know.

It started a bit ago when I was stressing out about almost telling him but not. Then my heart started to hurt, so I went to ask him about it.. I went into his bedroom and he said I was fine. Then I started blabbing on about stress, and then I said "Dad, I'm bisexual. Sorry for telling you right now, but I just wanted to let you know why my heart is achy." he just said its okay, and I hugged him and let him go back to bed.
I'm a little worried about what he'll say in the morning, idk.

My heart is still achy though
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Old June 23rd, 2012, 05:45 PM   #38
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatLovesMacintosh View Post
Well, I just told my dad I was bi..at the worst possible time ever.
I told at 4:10 AM.. He was half asleep but I just wanted to let him know.

It started a bit ago when I was stressing out about almost telling him but not. Then my heart started to hurt, so I went to ask him about it.. I went into his bedroom and he said I was fine. Then I started blabbing on about stress, and then I said "Dad, I'm bisexual. Sorry for telling you right now, but I just wanted to let you know why my heart is achy." he just said its okay, and I hugged him and let him go back to bed.
I'm a little worried about what he'll say in the morning, idk.

My heart is still achy though
That takes a lot of courage to do, bud. It's admirable. Telling my mom was one thing, but I've yet to work up the courage to even think about my dad. Well done, congratulations

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-and also Beth, with Max too
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Jon was here
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Old June 24th, 2012, 11:51 AM   #39
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

First person I told was my best friend, it was over facebook. He has a massive crush on this girl and wouldn't say who it was but I was really nosy and wanted to know. He was slowly breaking and seemed like he wanted to tell someone, so I said as a final push 'if you tell me who you fancy I'll tell you who I fancy' and he said the girl's name and I had to tell him mine and I thought 'no point lying' so I said this:
Fair enough, maybe you will in time :p
OK, you seriously can't tell ANYBODY AT ALL or I will literally make sure you have to go to Albania and hide in an old ladies cupboard. Don't freak out or anything but it's not a girl. Yeah, I play for the same team as *stereotypically gay kid from our school* if you know what I mean...
It's not anyone I ever speak to thouygh.
Oh go on then since I know you won't tell anybody as long as I don't spill the beans on *his crush* it's *my crush*. This is quite scary but it feels good to get it off my chest, now you know.

------
I also am out to my mum, I just straight up told her and she was 'shocked' and also my sister (who is a lesbian) who was 'happy' and 'knew it' :p My closest friends know now, one of them didn't react too well and we're still friends but he's slightly distant now...
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Old July 1st, 2012, 03:08 PM   #40
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Default Re: ** Coming Out Tips; Share Your Story! **

I just found this site today and have started reading some posts and came to this question. First of all let me say MIKE that was a great way to start this conversation, I really liked it and some really good advise. I have my story, but I will post it at a later date since it could take me a while. So, again I think that everything I've read here applies to me in one way or another. So will post soon and hope you enjoy my sharing as much as I have enjoyed yours.



________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________

Sean | Male | 16

Always open to talking to other guys my age or just plain old questions back and forth. If I'm on send me a message and lets see if we can talk.
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