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Old March 15th, 2012, 08:03 AM   #1
trail.t.trail
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Join Date: November 1, 2011
Location: Bombay
Age: 21
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Unhappy Grandfather in hospital

So, a couple of days ago, my grandfather collapsed. We took him to the hospital, he got admitted, some tests were done and we have found out that his brain stem was losing blood supply due to an inflammation around that region.
He has an operation scheduled in two days. He has diabetes, and doctors say his chances don't look good.
I'm already falling apart! He hasn't even passed away, and there is still hope that he won't, but I already break down sometimes. It's a bad situation, because I have exams right now so I need to stay focused, but I can't really concentrate on studying right now.
I have a couple of questions to ask:
  1. Has anyone seen a similar medical condition? What are the chances of survival?
  2. How do I cope with the thought of him passing away?
  3. If he does pass away, how can I overcome it and carry on?
I understand that death is a part of life, but I can't seem to get over the very thought that he might die! Just thinking about it makes me tear up.
I would love any help anyone can give me, or any past experiences you have had, coping with the passing of a loved one.
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Old March 15th, 2012, 11:57 AM   #2
Princess Ariel
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

I'm not sure about question one..

2. If you can, try not to think about it. Even if the doctor's say it doesn't look good, there is still a chance, whether it's a slim chance or not. If you can't stop thinking about it, if you can. Maybe go to the hospital and spend a hour or two with him..

3. Losing a family member that is close to you is heart breaking. But they're in a better place. Think about all the fun times you had, rather then the sad ones. Do you have a favourite memory about him? Think about it, and keep it locked in your mind.
(When my dad died when I was 6, I was devastated. But I thought of all the fun times we've had and it cheered me up. Thought of the stories I could tell my kids.)

Keep your held high, and try not to think about the fact that he could die. If he does, maybe get some bereavement therapy. It hasn't helped me, but that doesn't mean it can't help you.
If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here and I'm sure a lot more VTer's are.
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Old March 15th, 2012, 12:41 PM   #3
Anselmo
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

Quote:
Originally Posted by trail.t.trail View Post
  1. How do I cope with the thought of him passing away?
  2. If he does pass away, how can I overcome it and carry on?
Go visit him and say goodbye normally, when my grandmother was in the hospital i just visited her, talked to her and said goodbye, after 5 hours she died and i felt much better for saying goodbye...Even if there is a small change of getting better, prepare yourself for death, it will be much easier, my whole familly already knew that she was going to die knowing that there was still chances and that she was getting better. I still remember the last time i spoke to her, i always get a bit emotional when i talk about it, but i can overcome it easily. Music also helped alot, sad songs made me think about all and get over it more easily
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Old March 16th, 2012, 04:23 AM   #4
trail.t.trail
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

Thanks guys. I couldn't say bye like you suggested. I had a huge exam today and hospital visiting hours wouldn't allow me to. He had his operation this morning. They say it went of well, but we still have to see how well he recovers from it. Hopefully I won't have to say goodbye for a bit longer. Anyway, just thought I would keep you updated. Thanks for your help though. It means a lot.
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Old March 16th, 2012, 01:00 PM   #5
trail.t.trail
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

Just got news from the hospital. He passed away not 20 minutes ago. Ah well, such is life...
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Old March 16th, 2012, 01:12 PM   #6
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

I'm truly sorry to hear that. Remember the good times and one thing to do is share funny or nice stories with your family. When my nana (great-grandmother) passed away, at her memorial we decided we weren't going to mourn her. Instead, we decided to celebrate her. My mum and I made a video using photos of her from childhood to when she was 97, set to music and played it for everyone. We shared stories that would give everyone a laugh. It's okay to miss your grandfather and be sad about it but remember that he would want you to be happy anyway and to try to focus on the good parts.

One thing I do when I miss my nana is paint. She was a painter and an artist and I feel a lot closer to her just doing something I know she loved. If your grandfather had any hobbies, maybe look into that or even keep one of his old shirts as a keepsake. He's not gone for good while you still have memories.

I'm always here to talk if you need someone.
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Old March 16th, 2012, 01:17 PM   #7
Princess Ariel
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

Quote:
Originally Posted by trail.t.trail View Post
Just got news from the hospital. He passed away not 20 minutes ago. Ah well, such is life...
I'm so sorry

If you need ANYONE. I'm here.
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Old March 16th, 2012, 02:03 PM   #8
Erasmus
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

wow, that's so sap, R.I.P.


Be the change that you wish to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi.

You're special. Smile.

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Old March 25th, 2012, 12:27 AM   #9
LitBlackRose
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Default Re: Grandfather in hospital

1.well my grandpa didn't have that but it was hard when he died last time I saw him was when I went to Vietnam 3 years ago.... He was on life support becuz of his condition and I cried n then I came back n found out he had past 2 months later
2. I still feel sad to think about it but u hav to keep moving forward in life
3. You can over come it by spending time with family is what I did but u can never really get over it but u will learn to accept that he is in a good place n u have the memories in you heart

R.I.P I'm so sorry if u need to talk Ill b here

Straight, Vietnamese-american, Play trumpet, super otaku N I'm concidered the goth anime chick but Im just me. rock, metal j-rock ,grunge,symophonic metal and classical music just pm me if you wanna talk about anything
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