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Old February 27th, 2012, 02:52 PM   #1
DarkNick
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Default Words DO FUCKING hurt!

I just hate moments like this...
So we were hanging out to one of my friends house talking to someone in omegle.As we were talking the stranger pointed out that I look very straight.
I responded and then one of my friends said oh Nick you should add that guy, he's the first person you meet that finds out that you're straight from the first sight.
I answered by asking her what did she mean. She didn't respond (probably didn't even listen to me since we were in a party mode).
But who was I trying to fool? me or her?
For so many years in school everyone was making fun of me calling me a fag or gay,pussy and all these.... (probably 'cause of how my voice used to be odd and 'cause of a gay friend that I have) (I still hear comments like these every now and then)What the fuck do they know about me to call me like that? Do they know what I've been going through? Like hell they do! All of that confidence that I have gets ruined just by a simple comment...Funny isn't it? I can't cry,can't feel...just skip it and waiting again for something like that to come...I can't stand it,seriously I can't. I feel caged.Also ... WTF was her comment to me? Do I look like a garbage to her? She's the same girl that ruined my b-day (some of you might read the post that I raised here about that story),denied my love for her,says that doesn't trust me and says words that DO FUCKING HURT! and she things that only she remembers her wounds from me...Well I do too and she doesn't give a damn! I just don't get it why treats me like that. There are days that I can feel that we're all cool and friends and days like today that she says something and boom!...
We've been through a lot and it will be unbelievable all that to be a fake friendship.
But the hardest part it's the freakin' bullying. Damn I can't even date because of it...........................(not to meantion walking out in the street without feeling somehow scared and all the other symptoms)
There are people out there that have been through worse...Yes I get that and I really try to help them-wanting to,plus, that doesn't make my situation be oh it's alright it'll be fine since I'm-not-in-the-worse-situation-in-the-world...
And perhaps, yes I'm over analyzing it but it's like a virus that I can't stop thinking of it!

...and then boom the flash back came... I feel so...weak...I just want to break my room and then all thoses heads that say shit like that for me.
and at last punch my friend and ask her why the hell did she say that?

Just venting.If you read all that please respond or at least thank you for reading it!

p.s: Thanks a lot Virtual teen for being my secret,internet safehouse. It really makes me feel a lot better.....!

and for the record (I really want to scream that phrase right now)......I'm not straight. I'm bisexual!

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?

Last edited by DarkNick; February 27th, 2012 at 04:52 PM.
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Old February 28th, 2012, 12:43 AM   #2
Thunduhbuhlt
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickiller View Post
I just hate moments like this...
So we were hanging out to one of my friends house talking to someone in omegle.As we were talking the stranger pointed out that I look very straight.
I responded and then one of my friends said oh Nick you should add that guy, he's the first person you meet that finds out that you're straight from the first sight.
I answered by asking her what did she mean. She didn't respond (probably didn't even listen to me since we were in a party mode).
But who was I trying to fool? me or her?
For so many years in school everyone was making fun of me calling me a fag or gay,pussy and all these.... (probably 'cause of how my voice used to be odd and 'cause of a gay friend that I have) (I still hear comments like these every now and then)What the fuck do they know about me to call me like that? Do they know what I've been going through? Like hell they do! All of that confidence that I have gets ruined just by a simple comment...Funny isn't it? I can't cry,can't feel...just skip it and waiting again for something like that to come...I can't stand it,seriously I can't. I feel caged.Also ... WTF was her comment to me? Do I look like a garbage to her? She's the same girl that ruined my b-day (some of you might read the post that I raised here about that story),denied my love for her,says that doesn't trust me and says words that DO FUCKING HURT! and she things that only she remembers her wounds from me...Well I do too and she doesn't give a damn! I just don't get it why treats me like that. There are days that I can feel that we're all cool and friends and days like today that she says something and boom!...
We've been through a lot and it will be unbelievable all that to be a fake friendship.
But the hardest part it's the freakin' bullying. Damn I can't even date because of it...........................(not to meantion walking out in the street without feeling somehow scared and all the other symptoms)
There are people out there that have been through worse...Yes I get that and I really try to help them-wanting to,plus, that doesn't make my situation be oh it's alright it'll be fine since I'm-not-in-the-worse-situation-in-the-world...
And perhaps, yes I'm over analyzing it but it's like a virus that I can't stop thinking of it!

...and then boom the flash back came... I feel so...weak...I just want to break my room and then all thoses heads that say shit like that for me.
and at last punch my friend and ask her why the hell did she say that?

Just venting.If you read all that please respond or at least thank you for reading it!

p.s: Thanks a lot Virtual teen for being my secret,internet safehouse. It really makes me feel a lot better.....!

and for the record (I really want to scream that phrase right now)......I'm not straight. I'm bisexual!
Unfortunately for many people, homosexuality and bisexuality are not well tolerated.

Whenever you are being bullied, just remember, they are doing it for some reason. Maybe they themselves have something that they are hiding, or are abused at home. Also, if you take it to heart, you are letting them win. Just pretend they are joking, and even though they may not, let them think whatever.

Just don't do anything rational. Way too many people are lost due to suicide, and it is a horrible thing. And self harm is only good for the moment. And drugs just make it worse.
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Old February 29th, 2012, 07:47 AM   #3
DarkNick
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ncdinc97 View Post
Unfortunately for many people, homosexuality and bisexuality are not well tolerated.

Whenever you are being bullied, just remember, they are doing it for some reason. Maybe they themselves have something that they are hiding, or are abused at home. Also, if you take it to heart, you are letting them win. Just pretend they are joking, and even though they may not, let them think whatever.

Just don't do anything rational. Way too many people are lost due to suicide, and it is a horrible thing. And self harm is only good for the moment. And drugs just make it worse.
Thanks for your reply and sometimes I'm such a coward. I wouldn't be able to kill myself 'cause of my fear for the pain that I would feel...

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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Old February 29th, 2012, 07:53 AM   #4
Jack117
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Well....what? Did you just say the entire fucking story was fake? XD
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Old February 29th, 2012, 10:49 AM   #5
DarkNick
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

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Originally Posted by Jack117 View Post
Well....what? Did you just say the entire fucking story was fake? XD
Huh?
I don't get what you mean...

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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Old February 29th, 2012, 11:34 AM   #6
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

okay let me just say this just by lookinga at your picture (which i think is you) i would say you are straight....

MELIA ALLEN
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Old February 29th, 2012, 02:44 PM   #7
Breakeven
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

welcome to my world dude!
same things happening with me

I am not fucked up,Life is!
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Old March 1st, 2012, 08:08 AM   #8
DarkNick
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by melia_allen View Post
okay let me just say this just by lookinga at your picture (which i think is you) i would say you are straight....
Well maybe yes,maybe no. I mean....I've fallen in love somehow with a guy in the past...(Girls too)


Quote:
Originally Posted by viv17 View Post
welcome to my world dude!
same things happening with me
Well it's somehow good to know that there's someone out there who feels you.
I'm sorry and we can chat if you want to!

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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Old March 14th, 2012, 04:37 PM   #9
Breakeven
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickiller View Post
Well maybe yes,maybe no. I mean....I've fallen in love somehow with a guy in the past...(Girls too)




Well it's somehow good to know that there's someone out there who feels you.
I'm sorry and we can chat if you want to!
yea sure we should

I am not fucked up,Life is!
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Old March 16th, 2012, 12:49 AM   #10
DarkNick
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by viv17 View Post
yea sure we should

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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Old March 22nd, 2012, 08:36 AM   #11
Calex
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Exact situation with me. I hate it>.< just cause I act different and reply with "non manly" answers doesn't mean I'm gay, even though I'm bi, but still.

Well chat about anything and very open so HMU on skype!!
Down to make new friends hehe
I <3 Kuervo
Follow my tumblr!! RandomCortez
Bi and proud!!
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Old March 22nd, 2012, 01:21 PM   #12
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Being cute doesnt mean you're gay. People are stupid sometimes

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Old March 24th, 2012, 07:25 PM   #13
alex4nder
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Default Re: Words DO FUCKING hurt!

Words really do hurt.. sometimes more than actual physical violence.. oh how well i personally know that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThunderBolt View Post
Unfortunately for many people, homosexuality and bisexuality are not well tolerated.
This is also so very true.. and it's a shame, as it would be wonderful if we could all just get along (never happening) and live our respective lives in peace without fear of getting ragged on by some closeminded homophobe just because they felt the need to air their hateful opinions

Quote:
Way too many people are lost due to suicide, and it is a horrible thing. And self harm is only good for the moment. And drugs just make it worse.
It's really depressing when bullied kids these days see suicide as the only way out.. but with no one caring or even pretending to do so, after years of constant physical and mental abuse, can you fault them for wanting it all to just stop?

I know i can't and it saddens me beyond belief.. as suicide is not the answer and it never will be.

But i digress.. i wish you strength and hope you'll find it within yourself to stay strong.. don't give up.. things will improve.. they've got to.
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