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Old January 29th, 2012, 11:50 AM   #41
fire and water
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I understand it; do you like the adreniline rush you get from it? Are you purposefully more daring in aspects than you're friends?

But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see, What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like To feel you're pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds, Just to see what we'd find. Look at shit through each others eyes
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you.
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Old January 29th, 2012, 12:03 PM   #42
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes!

The adrenaline rush does play a big part in it.

I honestly thought I was alone in this whole thing. x

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Old January 29th, 2012, 12:35 PM   #43
fire and water
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Default Re: Inner Demon

That's the same as me then, i love the feeling you get. I love walking somewhere risky at night. When i hear a strange noise i walk straight toward it. You don't get many people like it

But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see, What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like To feel you're pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds, Just to see what we'd find. Look at shit through each others eyes
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you.
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Old January 29th, 2012, 12:39 PM   #44
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes, everything you have been saying so far describes me. My thoughts tend to be dark as well. It usually comes out in my writing but I have found that music tames it.

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Old January 29th, 2012, 02:01 PM   #45
fire and water
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Default Re: Inner Demon

That's the same as me! I love to write, and there is always a dark, sinister spin on the things that i write. I also find that listening to certain music calms me down. I've never met anyone like this

But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see, What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like To feel you're pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds, Just to see what we'd find. Look at shit through each others eyes
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you.
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Old January 31st, 2012, 12:24 AM   #46
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes, absolutely.

You are not the only one who feels this way. Thoughts of evil, violent and overall unorthodox subjects plague me for every second of every day. People are things to me, not equals. I am liked by everyone, but I have no friends because I hate everybody that I meet. People just repulse me in general. I have many "friends", mind you, but nobody in the world knows the real me. Everybody I know thinks of me as timid, quiet and kind, but I have contemplated murder and social engineering for infinitely long amounts of time.

Do you honestly feel this way, fully and completely? I have never met somebody like this before, or at least, I am unaware of it if I have.

I have a few questions.
1. What do you think about people in general? Do you see them as equals?
2. Are you in any way sadistic/masochistic?
3. Do you feel empathy/sympathy/compassion at all?
4. Have you ever felt urges to hurt others, physically or mentally?
5. If so, have you ever acted on these urges?
6. What do you feel when you see someone in pain or upset?

I would greatly appreciate it if you would answer these questions, if you so desire.

You can kill a revolutionary but you cant kill the revolution. ~Fred Hampton
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Old January 31st, 2012, 09:04 PM   #47
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Well, to me, this sounds like a missing "link" in the transport of hormones and other mood-changing chemicals in the brain. As you are growing and developing, so is the rest of you, and your brain may not have adapted yet to the changes, and has been unable to pass the hormone through to the rest of you yet. This hormone is linked to mood, and if there is too big of a gap, can lead to depression. Assuming that before puberty, this never happened, the feelings should begin to fade as the connection is resumed.
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Old February 3rd, 2012, 06:09 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moxie View Post

I have a few questions.
1. What do you think about people in general? Do you see them as equals?
2. Are you in any way sadistic/masochistic?
3. Do you feel empathy/sympathy/compassion at all?
4. Have you ever felt urges to hurt others, physically or mentally?
5. If so, have you ever acted on these urges?
6. What do you feel when you see someone in pain or upset?
1. What do you think about people in general? Do you see them as equals?

I suppose, I do see them as equals but I have seen myself "above" them for quite some time. I just see myself as more mature than them.

2. Are you in any way sadistic/masochistic?

Yes, I do think of dark ways of hurting those I dislike, little things like torturing techniques.

3. Do you feel empathy/sympathy/compassion at all?

My sister and some of my friends dislike this part about me but I tend to be very insensitive. I will say things without realizing the effect I am having on others. I tend to hurt many people this way but it is not something that can be helped. I do feel compassion but for me it's hard to feel truly sorry.

4. Have you ever felt urges to hurt others, physically or mentally?

Many times, sometimes I just get so ***sed at others that I can't help but think of hurting them.

5. If so, have you ever acted on these urges?

If I have they have never caused major injuries.

6. What do you feel when you see someone in pain or upset?

If I see someone crying for example I will feel sorry but at the same time I'm mentally telling them to shut up and get over it.

Does this answer your questions?

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Old February 3rd, 2012, 08:13 PM   #49
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes. When I meant sadistic/masochistic, however, I meant taking sexual pleasure in hurting others/being hurt, even if just in one's mind.

Either way, I doubt you have a disorder. You probably just don't like people... nothing wrong with that.

You can kill a revolutionary but you cant kill the revolution. ~Fred Hampton
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Old February 3rd, 2012, 08:16 PM   #50
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Default Re: Inner Demon

It doesn't have to be the fact that I don't like other people. I just have a naturally dark nature.

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Old February 3rd, 2012, 09:34 PM   #51
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I'm like this. I have a whole host of other issues too, but there is something lurking inside me, which is actually awakened by things like forests and spiderwebs and gothic castles, and it's like I need to feed it or something.
It's not a voice, but it's like a black mass, and when I'm sad/angry I can actually feel it getting stronger, and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.

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Old February 3rd, 2012, 11:01 PM   #52
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Default Re: Inner Demon

It reminds me of myself. I find it strange to have it within me as i have been raised to be kind to others, treat others how you want to be treated and so forth. I call it darkness, i've had it since i was small i always knew i was different but i try and not let anyone know about it. I found it comforting to know im not the only one like this. The time it comes out would be when im angry or lose control, i have lost control and hurt people cuz of it. I regret hurting people cuz of my darkness.
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Old February 4th, 2012, 09:20 PM   #53
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Default Re: Inner Demon

The last two posts really describe me. Does anyone here write with a sinister theme? If so would you like to share.

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Old February 11th, 2012, 02:22 PM   #54
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I have reached 100 posts so anyone that wants to PM me about this inner demon is welcome to.

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Old February 17th, 2012, 02:37 AM   #55
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Default Re: Inner Demon

1. What do you think about people in general? Do you see them as equals? No.
2. Are you in any way sadistic/masochistic? No.
3. Do you feel empathy/sympathy/compassion at all? Hardly any, i'm very shallow.
4. Have you ever felt urges to hurt others, physically or mentally? All the time.
5. If so, have you ever acted on these urges? I go into a mental state in which i rage listening to Tool (a band)
6. What do you feel when you see someone in pain or upset? I feel, Hey, i got 3 personality disorders and i'm very pessimistic, wtf is up your ass!?

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Old March 26th, 2012, 07:46 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyungmi View Post
I have always had dark thoughts. Disturbing images run through my mind, always been fascinated by the unknown, the shadows. Everything demonic that scared my friends intrigued me.
Going on from this and a few other posts I know what you humans are talking about. I'm a pretty sick guy to be honest. I spend a lot of time looking over at images and videos of murders, dissections, executions, suicides, many other things just to get rid of my boredom. I have bones from a goat under my bed that have been there for more than three years now I think. Yes, I do get the urges to hurt other people in the worst ways possible. The scary thing is that the past five months I've been coming in contact with a different person in me that I didn't think was actually there; really confusing to explain.

In fact there's times I go blank in the head during the week. I remember about three weeks ago when I went down the woods where this lake thingamajig is that I always go to - Well, I was walking there and I remember seeing a pair of sandals. I blacked out for about fifteen minutes and just my mind kicked back in while I was walking around there. It really disturbed me; got me thinking about what he does when he takes control. There's a big fear that maybe I have actually hurt people without even knowing it... The fact I can't control that anymore. Makes me think maybe it's not a bad idea to go back to the hospital.

I don't believe in higher powers, but I do see myself as a demon and sometimes a ghost. Nothing can convince me anymore that I'm a human though. This flesh I wear is not mine and it feels like I'm just wearing it like a jacket.

And when I mean a different side of me I don't mean a different emotional side. What I mean is a completely different living creature.

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Old March 26th, 2012, 09:26 PM   #57
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Sounds like schizophrenia to me:/
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Old March 29th, 2012, 06:10 PM   #58
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It is not schizophrenia. Don't start diagnosing me without some sorry of support and reasoning why you believe that to be true.

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Old March 29th, 2012, 06:40 PM   #59
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Default Re: Inner Demon

This is actually intriguing, so you feel as if it is part of you and not an outside entity, correct? That, if so, would be a very interesting thing. Can you post some examples of things this demon says? That would be awesome...thanks!

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Old March 29th, 2012, 09:06 PM   #60
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyungmi View Post
It is not schizophrenia. Don't start diagnosing me without some sorry of support and reasoning why you believe that to be true.
This. I really don't believe your schitzo by any means.

This goes highly against the grain of this section of the forum, but I'd actually suggest looking into spirits, demon world. Paranormal shit. You have to weed through the whackjobs to find decent information (especially with demonic, sadly) but it's out there.

You don't strike me as out of control or highly distressed. If anything you seem to be very well aware about your surroundings, which makes the idea of mental illness less likely.

Fascination with the occult, dark or disturbed isn't by nature a bad thing. All this is a part of life. Death is a part of life.
I have an idea what you're talking about, though I'd rather not share details publicly as it gets into things that I'd probably loose all credit if I talked about.

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