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Old December 28th, 2011, 06:28 PM   #1
shatter..
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Default Inner Demon

I don't think this is any sort of illness but it is a mental aspect so I decided to post it here. Feel free to move it if you need to.

~~

I have always had dark thoughts. Disturbing images run through my mind, always been fascinated by the unknown, the shadows. Everything demonic that scared my friends intrigued me. To give you an idea of what I am talking about here is an excerpt from my journal. Keep in mind that this is my writing and the rights to it belong to me.

Entry:

I really appreciate having a journal. A place where my demonic thoughts and images are finally welcome. This demon has been in me for a while now. It is not a voice; it is another aspect of my personality. It is triggered by thick forests, alternative music, anger, the dark. This is what I have found so far. I get the urge to snarl and can lash out. I can also give "evil" stares. Vassline has been a big help as listening to the dark lyrics resonates with my own energy and calms the beast down. Making me feel powerful yet in control.

<End>

Vassline is a band I found in September.

If you would like me to explain further please ask any questions.

Have you experienced this? Do you know someone who is similar?

shatter..

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Old December 28th, 2011, 07:03 PM   #2
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I have never experienced this before, I suggest watch the show A Haunting, they do shows on this stuff and maybe you can find your answers

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Old December 28th, 2011, 07:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I'll check it out soon. I'm just trying to see if anyone else on this site has experienced this.

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Old December 28th, 2011, 07:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: Inner Demon

How long has been going on for, do you feel any physical pain?

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Old December 28th, 2011, 07:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: Inner Demon

No physical pain. Just these emotions and feelings. I feel different from others. More dark. Sorry if this isn't making any sense to you.

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Old December 28th, 2011, 09:50 PM   #6
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Default Re: Inner Demon

It makes sense but the dark, part interesting

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Old December 29th, 2011, 08:24 AM   #7
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes, I thought it would interest many. Do you know of anyone who has experienced this?

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Old December 30th, 2011, 01:22 PM   #8
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyungmi View Post
Yes, I thought it would interest many. Do you know of anyone who has experienced this?
I dont tbh, this may sound weird, but how do you feel around crosses and holy objects?

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Old December 30th, 2011, 06:12 PM   #9
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by TattooBoy312 View Post
I dont tbh, this may sound weird, but how do you feel around crosses and holy objects?
Holy crap! You think she's posessed? umm... I hope not cuz I've experienced it too.
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Old December 30th, 2011, 06:47 PM   #10
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutibann View Post
Holy crap! You think she's posessed? umm... I hope not cuz I've experienced it too.
Chill, it was just a suggestion, and are you being serious, have you really?

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Old December 31st, 2011, 08:01 AM   #11
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I feel fine around them. Neutral.

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Old December 31st, 2011, 09:58 AM   #12
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Can I ask if you suffer from any mental disorders? Depression etc.

Also how real do you believe this to be?

I feel something similar, not the same but similar. There's a part of me that knows it's not true, but there's another part that finds it hard to ignore the evidence. I feel like there's "evil" inside me. Like you said it's not a voice but more of a part of me, it's a force rather than a being. It effects everything I do. It doesn't effect my behaviour it effects the consequences, like no matter what I do a negative consequence always occurs. Bad things always seem to happen around me, to the people I come into contact with, whether I want it too or not.

More similar to what you go through i've sometimes had the feeling that I can do what I want and I will never get hurt. The force is more powerful than me, and while it hurts everyone around me, it needs me, so it'd protect me. The only way it hurts me is by hurting the people I love, and by me knowing it's my fault. This is sort of similar to your feelings of power I guess.

I think ours is slightly different of course. My suggestion would be to talk to a professional about this, however I know how hard that is. I can't tell you if it's real or not, or if it's a part of your imagination, but you're not alone, whether this is a figment of our imaginations or real.

Can I ask if you've ever seen anything..? Or felt anything?

Eeek >< Never posted about that on VT before

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old December 31st, 2011, 10:15 AM   #13
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I believe it is a very real part of my being and personality. I have never suffered from any sort of disorder and am usually a very happy person. I am more introverted and rely on my self more than others. I also feel disconnected from others aswell. Yes, it is a force, kind of like the way I think and feel is darkly. Trying to explain it the best i can here.

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Old December 31st, 2011, 10:37 AM   #14
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Disconnected as though you're not really the same as them? Like you're somehow beyond the human race?

I feel like that a lot... Not like i'm better or more special than people, but the opposite. I'm worse and don't even deserve to be called human.

I've always associated these feelings and tried to rationalise it as part of my depression but may not...

I asked above but, have you ever seen it? And have you always been like this?

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old December 31st, 2011, 03:37 PM   #15
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Yes, sometimes I feel unhuman. other times I'm more connected. It switched on and off. I don't think I have always been like this but it has developed over time. What do you mean by have I seen anything?

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Old December 31st, 2011, 06:57 PM   #16
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by TattooBoy312 View Post
Chill, it was just a suggestion, and are you being serious, have you really?
Yes I'm serious. I never associated it with an inner demon, just anger and depression all kinda taking over my thoughts for a while. Sorry bout the overreaction. I forgot I was on the computer and not actually talking. It sounded funny in my head.
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Old December 31st, 2011, 07:23 PM   #17
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyungmi View Post
Yes, sometimes I feel unhuman. other times I'm more connected. It switched on and off. I don't think I have always been like this but it has developed over time. What do you mean by have I seen anything?
It feels like it developed over time with me too.

And I mean... nvm...

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old January 2nd, 2012, 12:20 PM   #18
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Default Re: Inner Demon

What else have you experienced?

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Old January 2nd, 2012, 12:29 PM   #19
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Default Re: Inner Demon

I can relate to you, this happens to me quite often as well.

Boy from Norway that likes to chat ^^
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Old January 2nd, 2012, 12:57 PM   #20
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Default Re: Inner Demon

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyungmi View Post
What else have you experienced?
I thought I saw it once. Almost like black ink spreading over my sight. However I was half asleep at the time and it may just have been that, it was only that once as well.

Sometimes I feel as though I can feel it spreading over my brain as well. :S

I sound crazy

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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