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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:16 PM   #1
1_21Guns
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Default It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Usual deal with me, if I get a guy it's for 2 weeks then I just want to isolate myself and blah but anyway. Me and my ex are still friends because we're in the same class at college constantly, and we weren't really together that long anyway. He has anger issues, possibly related to him losing a friend less than a year ago who he'd known for years, punches walls, has a bit of a temper, nothing I find threatening 'cause I've been there too.
Then on Monday, it wasn't so pretty. It was lunchtime and the class was wandering around town and me and my closest friends were talking, so he said something (jokingly) and I playfully hit him as I would do to anyone, then something inside him snapped. He suddenly grabbed my by my throat and hissed "if you do that one more fucking time I swear -" and (luckily) suddenly realised what he was doing, nearly started crying and hugging me saying "I'm so sorry", then later he punched a wall and all the rest of it.
At the time I guess it's still shock, I just kept saying it doesn't matter, it's done now, making a time machine would be more productive than hitting a wall and neither will get you anywhere, trying to convince him it was okay. This morning I was kinda scared to go in college, suddenly once you think you know someone won't hurt you, they do. My best friend got him to talk to our tutor, and they signed the forms for anger management right away. I'm just scared, because I know anger management doesn't always work and he's got a lot more battles to fight before he wins the war.
It's starting to make me stress out and get angry again, I just end up feeling my blood boiling up and having to leave the room with my best friend following me to make sure I don't start hitting things. I don't even know why I'm angry, I'm just scared, I didn't want my temper to control my college life and yet again it is because I'm some punchbag for peoples emotions and problems.
Ever since Monday the urges have been worse and worse, I can kinda feel myself slipping again, I don't want to spend the next year and a half at college in fear...

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:27 PM   #2
Jupiter
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Just breathe.

Yeah, he's got a few issues. And you are a great friend, because you are staying friends with him, right?
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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:27 PM   #3
1_21Guns
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

yeah, I said I'd still help him with his anger and stuff 'cause it seems I'm the only one who can actually calm him down

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:30 PM   #4
Jupiter
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

That's really nice, ya know. Many other people would have bailed on him. You realize that you mean a lot to him, right?
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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:30 PM   #5
1_21Guns
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Indeed, he told me enough times haha but yes

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:31 PM   #6
Jupiter
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

well, then you should feel good, right? you mean so much to this one person.
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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:34 PM   #7
1_21Guns
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

perhaps, however feelings don't mean too much anymore, they haven't for a long while. I just stick things through to save everyone elses skins and put myself to the bottom of the pile, telling someone who's just had their hand to your throat that it's "okay" certainly isn't the normal reaction someone would take

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1_21Guns View Post
perhaps, however feelings don't mean too much anymore, they haven't for a long while. I just stick things through to save everyone elses skins and put myself to the bottom of the pile, telling someone who's just had their hand to your throat that it's "okay" certainly isn't the normal reaction someone would take
I think he realizes what he did though. He knows he'd never mean to do that to you. He may think you are being overly kind, but don't blame this on yourself. He kind of had an immediate reaction, forgetting who you were, and what happened. Don't blame yourself, you really didn't so anything terribly wrong.

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:41 PM   #9
1_21Guns
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoppingTime View Post
I think he realizes what he did though. He knows he'd never mean to do that to you. He may think you are being overly kind, but don't blame this on yourself. He kind of had an immediate reaction, forgetting who you were, and what happened. Don't blame yourself, you really didn't so anything terribly wrong.
I guess so

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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:48 PM   #10
Jupiter
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

and, by the way.. i would have said it's okay.. but i guess we're different than the rest, huh?
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Old December 13th, 2011, 08:49 PM   #11
1_21Guns
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Indeed, quite rare I suppose

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Old December 15th, 2011, 04:55 PM   #12
antiabort
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Yea, that's probably not good. You may want to either find him some help or leave.
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Old December 16th, 2011, 06:42 AM   #13
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

Hello dear... God I can just imagine me as the grandmother from little red riding hood. Sitting there knitting and going "The better to eat you with, my dear..."

Anyhow, I must say -worry for yourself- first. You need to take care of your own safety. Sure, he is your friend but it sounds like he has some deep, serious issues he himself has to deal with. You're great for trying to help him through but sometimes that isn't the wisest move.

He can and most likely will recover with or without you. And you have so many issues you have to cope with as well. Are you sure you can protect yourself were he to really flip out on you again? Encourage him to get help but that's all you really can and should do.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old December 25th, 2011, 12:53 PM   #14
letluvbleedred
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Default Re: It wasn't even as bad as it's left me feeling, but I'm scared.

If your still willing to be his friend, i suggest trying to get him help. What he needs now is to try and get back to being himself. Hes going to need a friend to help and support him, especially since he's not always thinking clearly or rationally. Stand by him and dont give up on him, he's lost one friend already he doesnt need to lose another
GL

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