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Old October 25th, 2011, 11:00 PM   #1
logan fields
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Default being called gay

ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.
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Old October 25th, 2011, 11:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: being called gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by logan fields View Post
ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.
Hey bud, lemme tell you something, it doesn't matter what they think of you because in the end it is only your thoughts that really matter. I went through middle and high school with only about three girlfriends the entire seven years, I played sports (so I could get out of gym class) but my place was the drama department.

I know you just want everything to stop, you will sit in the corner of you room and cry yourself to sleep at night sometimes and even cut (that is how I dealt and I would NOT RECOMMEND IT.)

I am the type of person and I assume you are too who wants to please everyone, you want to make a lasting impression but you have a slightly hard time expressing yourself because you are afraid of what others will say.

I am sorry but you need to either get over it and realize that the only reasons people pick on eachother is because they are not comfortable with themselves and they think that by acting out, against someone else and causing them pain that it will make the bigger and better than they really are but they do not realize that they are just filling themselves with a false sense of hope.

Like I said, you can do a few things here. You can either set back and take it, not expecting anything to really change except the bullies might find someone else to bully. You could just give up and let them beat you up your whole life (I wouldn't suggest that option.) Or you could just let them have their fun and when they realize that they do not effect you anymore they will go away.

As for the being gay thing, you could be or you might not be, that is entirly up to you bud. Only you can make that decision. The most you can do is sit back and wait for them to get their just desserts.

If you ever need anything lemme know, I am here and always willing to talk bud. Hang in there, I know you can do it.

P.S ~ Just think how much stronger this will make you....you can be a great asset to anyone else who is going through this

The information provided by myself is not a substitute for that of a LICENSED PHYSICIAN.
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Last edited by Dimitri; October 26th, 2011 at 10:41 AM.
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Old October 25th, 2011, 11:46 PM   #3
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Default Re: being called gay

You are 13.. You are surrounded by idiots name calling is to be expected. Wether you are gay or not doesn't matter.

Kids get bullied for a ton of reasons none of them really have any basis and rarely is it the victims fault granted there are many things kids do that draw the fire upon themselves... In basic form anyone that stands out in life is either a leader or nailed down to the ground.

I don't know what you want well I can presume what you want being a teenager.. But you shouldn't try to be different if you truly don't like something about yourself then change it but don't try to change yourself because someone called you ''gay''.

I'm tough, rough, ready and able
To pick myself up from under this table
Don't stick no sign on me, I got no label
I'm a little sick, unsure, unsound and unstable

But I'm fighting my way back
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:13 AM   #4
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Default Re: being called gay

Dayum Logan, that is one messed up situation. Is there any way you can make a friend who is a bit older than you are? Maybe someone who could watch your back? If I was in SC, no one would be picking on you, that's for sure. I freakin' hate bullies and I have never picked on anyone smaller than me.

And it drives me crazy when kids use the word "gay" to put other kids down. If only they knew what it's like to really be gay, then maybe they would shut their mouths.

Logan, your best bet is to act all macho around these idiots. Swear a little, burp and fart, and go against every gay stereotype there is. Eventually they will move on and start to bother the femmy kid (and every school has one, I'm sure).

And whatever you do Logan, don't cut yourself or do something else stupid like that. Self harm is never the answer.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 08:29 AM   #5
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Default Re: being called gay

Me and you need to be friends. I've had to put up with this for years. I too gone through this. And just like you it was because I didn't play sports, for a time didn't have a gf, never punched a person in my life and plus my brother is a loud and proud fag so that doesn't help much. The best thing to do is to just ignore them. If you let them know that it bothers you it's only gonna get worse. Hope this helps. And always know that you aint the only one.

The only thing that runs good on a Toyota is the owners mouth.

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Old October 26th, 2011, 09:13 AM   #6
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Default Re: being called gay

Sorry to hear about this logan and i hope i could say something to help you but i don't so ill just tell you what i did when i was in a crap place called silverbank, horrid place..

Well people there was calling me gay and i was ofcourse but they also said faggot, tried to hit me and stuff.. but then i just got tired of it one day and said "so what?" and then the bullying actually stoped, not saying it will work the same way for you but i think if you did do something like that it could help you, but its your choice but it isn't coming out to them so don't worry its just saying so what, but try to think of something to do like i said.

sorry if this is no help but i wish you all the best and if you ever need someone to talk to you can vistor message me or personal message me at any time you need, i will always answer

Your actions inspire others to do the same, whether they are the right actions is up to you. Do as you see and see as you do.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:04 AM   #7
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Default Re: being called gay

That makes me sad. When I read postings like that I feel like I am the one who is bullied. And I can't help much.
Logan, you need friends. real life friends at school. We here on VT can make you feel better only when you are sitting behind your computer.
I agree, that you should try for bullies not to give any reason for the next gay joke. Just stick to your friends and try to avoid to meet these people. Asking help from teachers and parents and counsellors wouldn't help either as they would not stay beside you all day long. Doesn't solve the problem. Only real thing that could help you is to learn some fighting. I know that there is one fighting philosophy from china that is completely defensive. It teaches to use forces meant to hit you against offender itself. That could make them feel helpless and boost your selfesteem.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:39 AM   #8
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Default Re: being called gay

Just a follow up, Logan, I know exactly what you are going through. When I was 13 I realized that I was gay and I tried to deny it, tried to wish it would go away. Of course that didn't work, so I just gave up "the fight" and accepted it, which made me feel so much better about myself.

Luckily I didn't get hassled, because no one had a clue that I was gay. I played sports and swore like a Marine. LOL, if only the haters knew how I really was.

Be strong Logan, you're a good looking guy and you have a lot to offer this world. One day at a time is the best way to work through a crap situation.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 01:02 PM   #9
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Default Re: being called gay

Its bitches like them that make me sick. Stand up for yourself. Ur confused about your sexuality—thats fine. People making fun of you for something you might not be—not ok. Telling an adult doesn't hurt. A guidance counselor or teacher at school could stop this. so don't hold your feelings in, and don't try to handle this yourself unless you know you could do something about it.

I just had a nice bowl of mac n cheese.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 02:59 PM   #10
logan fields
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Default Re: being called gay

i just want to say thanks to everyone who wrote something in here because i dont know if you realize it but just being kind and nice like that does make people feel better inside and it made me feel better. i know i should fight but if i fight i get in trouble and if i dont fight i get in trouble so i just try to keep to myself or hang with friends that dont act like the bullies.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 06:02 PM   #11
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Default Re: being called gay

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Originally Posted by logan fields View Post
if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.
Why do they care, because someone always feels that they have to put their two, worthless cents in because they think their opinion matters. Well it doesn't. I am glad that you enjoy being here, it is a great place, isn't it?

The information provided by myself is not a substitute for that of a LICENSED PHYSICIAN.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 09:46 PM   #12
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Default Re: being called gay

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Originally Posted by logan fields View Post
i just want to say thanks to everyone who wrote something in here because i dont know if you realize it but just being kind and nice like that does make people feel better inside and it made me feel better. i know i should fight but if i fight i get in trouble and if i dont fight i get in trouble so i just try to keep to myself or hang with friends that dont act like the bullies.

if i am gay so what why should it matter to someone else anyways? Im not saying i like it but its not like gay people are bad or evil and i think im a good person to everyone so whats the big deal. i dont act girly or talk about gay with anyone so i dont even know how they even think im gay and that bugs me a lot.

anyways thank you for being so nice and my favorite new place is right here at vt because people here dont have to hide anything and i like that.
That's the spirit, boy. Really proud of you. You're completely right. What does it matter to anyone else? Does you being gay mean someone's going to suffer or die? Of course not! It would be like saying every straight person's some evil heartless spawn. There's no difference between a homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, bisexual or whatever shiz, except that you're attracted to different people.

People are ignorant, they tend to believe that if you're gay, that means you like -every single guy- which of course, we know isn't true. And believe it or not, most likely, a lot of the people who bully you may be super closeted, in-denial homosexuals, as well. They just pick on you to make it look like they aren't. A lot of kids also do that because they think it's funny, they want to fit in or they just don't understand the consequences.

Don't let them win. Don't let them break you, you're stronger than this. Show that you're stronger, tougher, way more mature and better than them. They're terrible immature to have stooped so low. But you know there's nothing wrong with you. So what if you're gay? My best friend's bi and she's still my best friend!

No one can bring you down without your consent.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:21 PM   #13
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Default Re: being called gay

You realized in one day what every person in this world with self confidence or bullying issues needs help to achieve. To learn that no matter what others think, or say, or do, they are meaningless. All that truly matters is what we think of ourselves.

As for the gay/notgay thing, you are 13 years old man, ignore labels. Labeling yourself achieves nothing. Whether you are or will be gay, straight or bi is completely unimportant right now, you have all of your life to do that. Right now worry about staying focused in school, finding some friends who like you for you regardless of what you are, and making sure that you like yourself. If you do those 3 things I guarantee you that you will be happy no matter what others have to say about it.


"The Only Rules That Matter Are These: What A Man Can Do, and What A Man Can't." ~Jack Sparrow

"All that is Gold does not Glitter" ~J.R.R. Tolkein
"Smile, Nod, Agree and then do Whatever the Fuck You Want Anyways." ~RDJ
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:37 PM   #14
logan fields
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Default Re: being called gay

wow you guys are amazing so thank you very much. if i knew this place was this cool i would have come here before now because i already feel better just being here with good people. i dont know how i can repay you but thank you for being so nice to me.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:46 PM   #15
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wow you guys are amazing so thank you very much. if i knew this place was this cool i would have come here before now because i already feel better just being here with good people. i dont know how i can repay you but thank you for being so nice to me.
I don't think anyone here would ask you to repay them. Everyone here is here to help. Keep your head up, buddy.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:48 PM   #16
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Default Re: being called gay

Yes man, we don't want payment, we just wan to make sure you are okay, we are a "community" a community means you watch out for one another and always help eachother no matter what. You can always come to me or anyone else here.

The information provided by myself is not a substitute for that of a LICENSED PHYSICIAN.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:49 PM   #17
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I don't think anyone here would ask you to repay them. Everyone here is here to help. Keep your head up, buddy.
Seconding this. The community here shares a lot of similar issues, we all know how it feels to be the odd one out. Even the ones here who lack a severe issue in life, like myself all I ever dealt with was minor bullying and even that wasnt bad, are here to provide support for others.

Actually the main reason I'm on here is because I want to be a High School Teacher/Counselor/Coach so I'm hooked on the whole helping people out thing.

Ever have any issues, and I'm sure others will agree or repeat this, don't hesitate to post either a thread or on my wall.


"The Only Rules That Matter Are These: What A Man Can Do, and What A Man Can't." ~Jack Sparrow

"All that is Gold does not Glitter" ~J.R.R. Tolkein
"Smile, Nod, Agree and then do Whatever the Fuck You Want Anyways." ~RDJ
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Old October 27th, 2011, 07:17 AM   #18
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Default Re: being called gay

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Originally Posted by logan fields View Post
ok im going to be honest and hope that nobody will make fun of me but everybody just tells me to be me and well im not to good at that right now because everytime i try to be me i get bullied real bad and they call me gay.

i dont know if i am gay or not and i dont want to be but just because i dont play sports and i dont like to fight and because i dont have a girlfriend kids at my school and around here call me gay and make fun of me all the time and it gets so depressing. i would never like kill myself but i do understand why some kids that are bullied do because its not fun and its a very mean thing to do and i dont ever hurt anyone.

even if i am gay someday how would i ever live with that because if they already hate me and i dont even know yet then they would really hate me then and i just want it all to stop.
Hey, bullying works so great as long as the person being bullied gives the bully what he wants which is you being upset. Thats what the bully wants. People sometimes like to point the finger at others because they dont want to look at themselves. If rather then getting upset you make a joke of what they are saying about you it will stop because it wont be bullying if you are enjoying it. As long as they dont hit you of course than that calls for something else.
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Old October 27th, 2011, 03:15 PM   #19
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Default Re: being called gay

if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.
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Old October 27th, 2011, 03:17 PM   #20
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Default Re: being called gay

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Originally Posted by logan fields View Post
if bullies were alone like one on one then it wouldnt be so bad but its not usually like that because they hang in groups so they feel bigger and when you laugh it off that usually makes them mader and i figure why give them a reason to make it worse then it is. maybe i am wrong and maybe i should fight but i know i would get killed because they dont fight alone because their cowards.
don't fight. you're the bigger man, keep it that way

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