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Old September 9th, 2011, 02:27 AM   #1
bambino
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Name: Cat
Join Date: April 17, 2011
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Default help..

Gone back to college. So stressed. So fricking stressed.
I have to be in like..less than half an hour and I'm just freaking out. i can't do it. Literally. yesterday I spent the whole time thinking about how ugly I was.
Nothing I wear looks right, my body always looks weird. dont get me started on my face.
There was this gorgeous girl, indian with long black hair and long limbs- i think shes a model. And i just kept thinking god, what must i look like next to her. Disgusting. I've already missed lessons and freaked out. I dont know how much longer I can keep not self harming up.

I also haven't been eating. I dont even know why. I dont even know why the hell that is. I get nervous so i dont eat, then i dont want to eat infront of people so i dont. i just dont enjoy food, at the same time- i love food.
i have my weigh in with the clinic tuesday, part of me feels like i need to be thinner for the weigh in! how ridiculous is that.

I dont know guys, what can i do
my new counsellor is a man and hes actually first guy ive had as a therapist but hes amazing, smart and not patrionizing- i prefer him 100x over the women ive seen. i hope he can help.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 07:17 AM   #2
Amaryllis
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Default Re: help..

Oh amber hun, you need to tell your counsellor. You might not want to disappoint him but he's there to help you. Trust me, they've seen a lot worse. They won't judge you or think you're a nut.

Dysmorphia and eating disorders are terrible. I understand. Sometimes I want to take a knife to my face and slice it up as well, I'm so ugly already anyway. But remember that song you shared?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpnuubCJjCU

You're beautiful. You may not feel, know, think it but you ARE. And who gives a damn if you're not? There will always be someone who looks better, who acts better, who talks better, who does better. But you know what, amb? You have some things they will never have. You're more than what you think you are. You're better than you feel. So what if she's prettier, taller, curvier, sexier, skinnier? Maybe you're kinder, nicer, sweeter, lovelier, better.

You're insecure. Don't know what for. You're turning heads when you walk through the door. I can't believe you don't know, you don't know your beautiful.

Love,
Faith and Trust

Really, I mean what I say each time. Those three words. They're all you need. They're what you need. Love yourself, have faith in your recovery, trust that you are beautiful.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old September 9th, 2011, 01:51 PM   #3
bambino
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Default Re: help..

thank you <3
that made me smile first time today.
you are not ugly Z, not in any way shape or form. youre perfect. such a cute little thing I wish you could see

you're right it is terrible, I wouldnt wish it on anyone- not my worst enemy.
I will tell my counsellor i see him again soon, and i have the ED clinic tuesday-wish me luck

let me know how youre doing babe i worry !
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Old September 9th, 2011, 04:00 PM   #4
Love.Hate
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Default Re: help..

Quote:
Originally Posted by bambino View Post
thank you <3
that made me smile first time today.
you are not ugly Z, not in any way shape or form. youre perfect. such a cute little thing I wish you could see

you're right it is terrible, I wouldnt wish it on anyone- not my worst enemy.
I will tell my counsellor i see him again soon, and i have the ED clinic tuesday-wish me luck

let me know how youre doing babe i worry !
This is the right descison.. i dont think i have anything more to say than what Z has already mentioned.. just thought i would say. I know college is stressful and horrible right now, just try not to let it get to you.. (i know easier said than done).

Your beautiful Amber, i promise you <3


Don't let anybody ever bring you down.
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Old September 9th, 2011, 06:29 PM   #5
Lethe
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Default Re: help..

If you're ugly, I must be absolutely hideous (not that I'm not already). I've seen your pictures and you're gorgeous. You have absolutely no reason to be afraid that you look ugly when you don't.

Tell your counselor. That's what he's for.
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Old February 1st, 2015, 07:40 AM   #6
amybah
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Default Re: help..

My best friend is crossing the same!

You're so beautiful!! Don't worry about your appearance
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Old February 1st, 2015, 12:01 PM   #7
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Default Re: help..

Please don't bump old threads.


Tiago | ♂ | 20 | PM | VM | Ask Me | Lonely Hearts Club

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