Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old August 11th, 2011, 10:41 PM   #1
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default At my limit.

I'm at my limit. Lately I've been so irate and angry and irritated, little things just set me off and it's killing me.

I'm 149lbs right now. I lost a few pounds, but it isn't enough. I can't even see a difference! Let's not even get started on my ugliness—even losing a few pounds couldn't fix that. But I was at least hoping I'd see a little difference in myself...maybe what little curves I have would stand out more, maybe my legs and arms would be slightly slimmer, maybe my face wouldn't be as pudgy and gross, maybe I wouldn't have as much fat on my belly.

Well, I have none of that. There's almost no difference. Losing 6-8lbs did absolutely nothing. And it makes me want to kill myself. I want to be anorexic-thin. Being that thin would be better than being what I am now. I want to be so thin I can just fade away and I wouldn't stand out so much as being the biggest, widest, ugliest thing at school and out in public. But even losing close to 10lbs couldn't help me with that! If that won't help, what will? Will being 20lbs underweight help or no? I just don't know what to do. I'm absolutely at my limit. I want to die. Really, honestly, I do.

I want a boyfriend. I want some friends who actually enjoy being around me. People say it's what's on the inside that counts, but that must be bullshit because no boy wants to date me despite being friendly, happy and helpful at school, and even my close friends don't seem to even want to work with me. I don't get it. Am I that ugly and fat and disgusting as a human being I'm not worth even looking at or being around?

I'm worthless. And I always will be, no matter how much weight I lose. Why not just die?
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 10:46 PM   #2
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

maybe that's a good thing. sometimes just sometimes, your poor outlook needs to be shoot down.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 10:48 PM   #3
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

How is it a poor outlook? I've been experiencing this for most of my life. People have taken great pains at school to tell me just how ugly and disgusting I am. Especially the male population. It's a hard cycle to break. I can't simply leave school, can I? And I experience this treatment even outside of school, so there is really no escaping it. Being happy with myself doesn't cut it.
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 10:50 PM   #4
Ambrosia
Awesome Poster
 
Ambrosia's Forum Picture
 
Name: Lexi
Join Date: November 22, 2010
Location: Texas
Gender: Female
Default Re: At my limit.

PLEASE do not fight in this or any other thread. This is your only warning. Keep it friendly and, if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything at all!

-Retired Global Moderator-
Ambrosia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 10:56 PM   #5
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

no you can't. you can't just make it stop, your right. you can try to see life with a positive light though. keep saying it, the more real it becomes in your head.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:03 PM   #6
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

Ignorance is bliss, but I'd rather be educated than ignorant. I'd prefer to be happy and to not be bothered by what they say, but being positive just doesn't work. Really, it doesn't. With how many times guys have told me how worthless I am and how I'm not the type of girl guys would date because of how I look, it's hard to have anything positive to think about or say.
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:04 PM   #7
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

find your worth in you, not someone else.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:05 PM   #8
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

What worth is there? I'm not pretty. I'm big-boned. I'm wide-shouldered. I have a lot of weight I can't lose. On top of that I wear glasses, which guys usually don't like on girls. What is there about me that's worth anything to anyone, even myself?
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:08 PM   #9
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

well with that attitude, nothing. you aren't willing to work on life from the sounds of it. i know it's tough, but i also know it's worth it. life isn't easy and it sounds like you were dealt a tough hand, but like you told that other girl, you have much more than a lot of others out there.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:14 PM   #10
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

I am working on my life...I lost 7lbs. Of course, it did absolutely nothing for me. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try to lose more. That's what I want. I'd rather be anorexic than be the weight I am now. I'd probably get teased less. Maybe some guy in my school would notice me. Who knows.
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:20 PM   #11
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

just eat healthy and exercise. protein every morning, not carbs. protein and fruit (not banana'a) for lunch, protein carbs and veggies for dinner. for snacks, low sugar veggies or half sandwich. walk everyday to the point you're sweating, then walk and additional 30-45 minutes at the same pace. stay away from soda, juice, and milk above 1%. it'll help.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:26 PM   #12
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

I don't drink anything but water. I've decided to eat only about 800 calories a day, to make sure I lose plenty of weight. Why be healthy? It's good in the long-run, but I don't know if I'll even have a reason for living more than a few more years. I might as well die looking a little better...
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:29 PM   #13
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

vitamins in milk will help you lose weight.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:30 PM   #14
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

I just want to lose as much as possible, in any way possible...
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:33 PM   #15
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

do what i told you, it will seriously help. i work out all the time. i'm helping my foster sis lose weight right now. she's 14 almost 15 and weight 240lbs and is 5'9". she's really tall for her age and being a girl, but waaay overweight, on my diet and program, she lost 7 pounds in the last couple weeks.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:41 PM   #16
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

I don't know. Something in me says "just starve to death" because when you starve you lose weight faster. And like I said, I don't plan on living very long. So dying at 130- pounds would be better than living a full life the way I am. No guy wants me, no person wants to take the time to get to know me. What's the use of living?
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:47 PM   #17
dontcare97
Banned
 
Name: Rebecca
Join Date: August 1, 2011
Location: New Jersey
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 8
Default Re: At my limit.

Lethe, stop. Please. I can't stop tell you how beautiful you are. You listen to everyone one else in the world and whatever one else says, well listen to me. I. Think.Your. Pretty. I saw your pictures, way before I read any of you self hating threads. My first thought, which is completely true, is: "I'm so jealous." I thought you were so much prettier than me and I thought your smile was heartwarming.

I know how tough it is to lose weight and how fat and disgusting you feel when you look at your fat. I'm like 210 and i hate it. I do but that doesn't mean I should kill myself. It means I have to try harder, just like you.

Destroying yourself like this isn't helping anyone. Sitting and complain won't help. You keep making things like this but you keep fight everyone's advice. we are here to help and befriend you. you can't say everyone thinks your ugly when I can name twenty users who said differently.

You know what will help? Sticking your middle finger up at the world and then pwn it. Your so fixated on looks and how the world perceives you. Screw that. Clearly you don't like the world and the people around you who bring you down. Why do you want to kill yourself to meet their expectations? once you lose that ten pounds, they will call you a poser. Get new clothes and they will say your try too hard. Stop caring and they say your a slob. You can't win in a a place can't shut up long enough to find it's own ass.

Don't do things for others. Do it to make yourself smile Do it because you deserve the best. and if the someone, anyone, has a problem with you striving to be the best you you can be, again fuck them. That person or those people won't help you. live for you. Be selfish and do things for yourself.

I can't be there to fight off bullies or make you take my advice but as long as you keep posting stuff like this, I'm going to keep repeating this.
dontcare97 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:53 PM   #18
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

You can't hide from the world, just like you can't hide from the truth. At least I'm not trying to kid myself by telling myself I'm attractive...
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:54 PM   #19
judahtics
Banned
 
Name: judah
Join Date: July 23, 2011
Location: cali
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: At my limit.

actually that's not true. you don't lose weight faster by a lack of food. that's a myth.
judahtics is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 11th, 2011, 11:55 PM   #20
Lethe
Nice Poster
 
Lethe's Forum Picture
 
Name: Dee
Join Date: June 19, 2011
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: At my limit.

Starving will eventually make me thinner. If I starve to death, that's fine. It's a win-win for me. What do I have to lose?
Lethe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org