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Old August 22nd, 2011, 07:44 AM   #21
Amaryllis
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Thanks, Fran. Really appreciate the rep. Makes me feel like I helped someone, you know? I really hope you'll get better, Fran. You're beautiful inside and out. You deserve better.

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Old August 22nd, 2011, 10:12 AM   #22
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

For anyone who is worried about going to far the other way, from severly underweight to being overweight, I have some advice! I'm not claiming to be anywhere near recovered but I went to see a nutritionist named Zoe Harcombe and she used to be anorexic and then went really overweight. She said to actually check out books on healthy dieting. They might make overweight people lose weight but for underweight people, it will get us up to and keep us at a healthy weight. Its gotta be worth a try right!
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Old August 22nd, 2011, 09:36 PM   #23
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Lets not use the word "dieting" here. Intuitive eating, yes. Dieting? No. Don't let food control your life. Food is food. People are starving. They wouldn't be picky. Let it go. Be free. You are -not- your eating disorder. You are you.

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"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old August 22nd, 2011, 09:51 PM   #24
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

I actually chose death, but I don't want to explain.

I'm actually known to everyone as the king of calorie counting, I spend hours studying healthy eating and researching the average calorie count for various foods and the manipulation of the amount of calories from certain methods of cooking, and blah blah blah.

Sadly, food has taken over my life.



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Old August 22nd, 2011, 11:39 PM   #25
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

I understand. I know most people say that but believe me, I do. I was there. I read cooking books, googled calories, healthy recipes, caloirie counters like they were bibles. To this day I can tell you the caloric difference in a steamed piece of cod and raw piece of cod. The different calories in a black cod and an atlantic cod. The caloric difference of a piece of lettuce and a leaf of spinach. I watched the food channel like it was porn. I followed my calorie counter like it was a goddamn sage.

This isn't the life you want. So this doesn't have to be the life you'll live. I no longer count calories in my head. I've stopped googling recipes, calories and weight loss tips and blablabla every second of the day. I don't sit in the supermarket counting the calories of everything anymore. I eat what I like and I don't give a damn how many calories are in it.

You can do this. Don't give up. Keep trying. Be free.

Love,
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"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old August 23rd, 2011, 12:00 AM   #26
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Wow, I'm not as much as you were, but that's because I'm a picky as hell eater, so I don't care about seafood, I dont like it, you know the routine I would suppose.

I actually make fairly accurate guesses of my daily intake, nutrition facts are deitys to me.

I can't stop, I'm just trying to make sure I keep eating instead of not eating at all. (fruit ftw)



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Old August 23rd, 2011, 12:35 AM   #27
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Honey... God, I gotta stop using that word haha. But really, babe, you can't do this for the rest of your life. Do you even want to live like that for the rest of your life?



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Old August 23rd, 2011, 12:40 AM   #28
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Tbh I wouldn't mind it.

It gives me something to do instead of SH actually.



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Old August 23rd, 2011, 05:54 AM   #29
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Default Re: A GUIDE TO EDs - RECOVERY AND WHAT TO EXPECT

Oh trust me... I've self harmed. I self harm. Anorexia was SO MUCH WORSE. Scars don't hurt. I will be in pain for the rest of my life because of the crap I did to myself. They force fed me and put me on a drip. I got to the point where I never slept. I was too skinny to even sleep. I had absolutely no energy. No friends. No interests. No goddamn life.

People stuck things in my locker calling me the "ugly anorexic" "skinny bitch" "go kill yourself sicko" "you look like my grandmother's ribs"

You can't hide. Your disorder will be there for the world to see. My beautiful thick hair is gone. My organs were shutting down and really, I'm surprised I'm alive. Anorexia took all my pain and magnified it, it made cutting insignificant, hell I stopped because believe me, NOTHING beats the pain of your body eating itself for life.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old October 1st, 2011, 09:35 PM   #30
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

Fantastic contribution to the site. Your thread is a sticky, Z.

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Old October 1st, 2011, 09:43 PM   #31
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

Grats on the sticky, Z.


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Old October 2nd, 2011, 05:20 AM   #32
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

Congrats Z! You have done very well. You're a natural leader!



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Old November 3rd, 2011, 07:37 PM   #33
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

Thanks for posting the! It's really inspirational

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Old January 29th, 2012, 08:50 AM   #34
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thanks
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Old April 1st, 2012, 06:47 PM   #35
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

This helped me so much on my road to recovery. I was 72 lb and my friend could wrap his index finger + thumb round my upper arm and still have a gap. now i'm 140 lb with quite a bit of muscle mass
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Old September 1st, 2012, 09:51 PM   #36
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

Im a recovering anorexic, and I sure can tell you. It has been a bad road, My parents took notice to it when we where on a trip to las vegas. We where standing outside waiting for a taxi. and i just randomly fainted. then when we got back, I started feeling nausea, and fatigue. My doctor said that because im a boy I will get a more painful effect from it with lots of awful symptoms. I actually developed a mental disease from all this as well. I now have GAD (general anxiety disorder). I fear that I could get nausea and faint at any time. Im worried about going to school. I really dont wanna get sick like I did in school.... But How does one overcome all of these symptoms!! Its awful! Im so scared!! I started eating more, and even one month later! these horrible symptoms wont go away!! am I damaged permanently?

16, Gay, Im proud of that!

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Old January 4th, 2013, 06:56 AM   #37
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

It's been a long time since I've been active and even longer since I made this thread. I apologise for not answering to anyone questions you might have, but I would like to update you all on how I'm going and for those of you who're thinking that recovery is impossible, to tell you it isn't.

You probably know the story of my eating disorders - anorexia, orthorexia, bulimia, binge eating - and compulsive overexercising. If you don't, I'm sure it's not much different from yours or your friend's.

I went from anorexia, orthorexia and compulsive overexercising to binge eating and bulimia when I was recovering. It's horrible, overcoming one hurdle just to realise you have another to climb, and so often, you just want to give up. Rest. Go to sleep. But life isn't always kind, and sometimes sleep never comes.

It's difficult, for people to understand. It's not like abuse, where someone can associate it to being punched or stabbed. Eating disorders are hell in your minds, and when you're caught in it, you feel like you're stuck with yourself.

I used to wish I'd died. With every breath, every look in the mirror, every time I sat and "felt fat," I would wish I was dead.

But I'm not. If you're reading this, you're not, and I'd like you to thank your body for staying strong for so long, even when we do all kinds of horrible things to it. Starve it, cut it. Hurt us.

I'm recovered, and I can say this with confidence. I'm absolutely recovered, more so than when I wrote this thread. I'm not bingeing anymore, and I'm definitely not starving myself. To be honest, I hardly even think of eating disorders anymore. I eat what I like, I don't obsess over the calories and health 'value' of the food. I'm not afraid of eating in front of people or of food and eating, I'm not afraid at all.

How did I recover and stop bingeing? Well, I'm sure you know recovery doesn't become an uphill climb the moment you decide you want to recover. It's hard. It's hell. It's like running up an escalator that's running down but god is it worth it. I promise you, it's worth it. I binged one day, when I was recovering, and I just kept bingeing for - and I'm not exaggerating - 2 years.

When did I stop? When I stopped trying to. I told myself, what the hell, and I let myself eat, and then I just slowly forgot about it. I began to eat normally. I learned to live, and perhaps that's what really pulled me out of hell and near death. Life.

I used to hate it, this horrible, wretched curse called life, and I hated myself. Hated being stuck with this ugly monster I couldn't get rid off, hated this skin that clung to me, mocked me every moment of the day. And most of all, I hated my mind. That horrible head of mine that tortured me relentlessly.

You tell yourself to live, force yourself to. You do things you don't want to - like go to school, sing, write, read, whatever it is you used to love or maybe something new - even if it's hard to concentrate because I promise you, if you keep trying, you will win. You make yourself talk to people, even if your friends have left you, even if you have none. Because - and I never used to believe this - there will be one or a few people who will make life worth living. Mine was a best friend I made when I was struggling with recovery during my bingeing period. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

You live and one day, you realise, you're living. Life isn't food and food seems pretty awesome, for keeping you alive, and your body seems even more amazing, for hanging on despite everything you did to it.

I love my body, and I mean this honestly. It sounds corny but I think I'm pretty hot. I won't lie, sometimes I feel insecure, but I do other things to get my mind off of it, I wear pretty clothes, walk with my head held high and smile as much as I am awake, and I'm strong again.

I'm heavier than I ever was, thanks to my EDs, but I don't mind. Because, you see, I realised your weight isn't what makes you hate or love yourself. You can be as thin as you can possibly be - and I was - and still hate yourself and think you're fat. But you can be 'heavier' than you used to want, and be happy, and I am happy. I've never been happier, and it feels weird, honestly, not being miserable.

Sometimes it gets hard, like when people talk about dieting and health and 'anorexics,' but if I managed to get through all that I have, I tell myself I can get through that, too. And I can.

You're going to be you for forever, you're always going to be with yourself, and it's up to you to make sure eternity is as great as it can be. Love yourself, forgive yourself, help yourself and live, and you'll make things easier for yourself. Once you recover - and you will, if you keep going, no matter how much you think you can't - you'll be stronger than you ever were, and most of all, you will be proud.

There's a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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Old June 26th, 2014, 12:26 AM   #38
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Default Re: A Guide to EDs - Recovery and What to Expect

I've never suffered with an eating disorder nor have I known anyone who has. What I do know is there is always an underlying, severe mental illness that is afflicting those people.... and I hope that each and every one of them can find help quickly..... There's no reason for someone to suffer so profoundly and hurt so deeply </3 Get help girls and guys, don't be afraid. Do it for you- know that it'll make you much happier to find the TRUE source of your disorder!

As a for-fun writer, I have a blog full of ideas called How Kids Can Earn Money. I've been doing things like this since I was 11; so I've compiled them into a big blog! Enjoy!
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