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Old May 9th, 2005, 08:56 PM   #1
Φρανκομβριτ
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Default my mum's boyfriend

I've put up with a lot. So has my sister. We have both experienced about 7 boyfriends in the past 8 years. We have put up with physical abuse since we were 5, and it keeps ending up the smae way> My mums enw boyfriend is being a wanker. He seemed really nice at first. My mum threw him out last week because he was being a really big ass, and he was one tonight. What should I do?

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Old May 10th, 2005, 05:42 AM   #2
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I don't know what to say except tell your mom whats going on.

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Old May 10th, 2005, 08:55 AM   #3
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Aw, im sorry to hear about that

I agree, the best thing would be just to make sure your mum knows what is happening.
The only other thing i could suggest is to sit down and talk to her properly. I mean, dont just tell her what her bf does, talk to her about your feelings, how it makes you feel and how you understand that her situation is difficult etc. I know this can be really difficult to do but at least that way she may get more of an idea about where you're coming from, as opposed to just seeing her own point of view. It will also show her your maturity and she may begin to realise that she hasnt been seeing the bigger pic, if that makes sense?

Im guessing that you love your mum and you want to stay with her? So in my own experience, its her choice who she lets in....
Im in a similar situation to you but with my real dad. I dont know what else to do except involve the police and social work, which i am not prepared and cannot afford to do. Im really sorry i couldnt be of more help but i hope things work out for you soon. Let us know how it goes.

Lynne
xxx
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Old May 10th, 2005, 09:49 PM   #4
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Thanks Lynne, but it's difficult. In a way, my mother hasn't really grown up. I'm still helping her along the way. She's at the pub right now....at 10:45 p.m.....with him, instead of her kids. I thought she broke up with him. This isn't good for any of us. I understand she just wants a partner, and we all do. But when it's hurting us all, she needs to let go.

Lynne, you know we are here for you. Or, atleast I am, but I'm sure everyone else is. If you want to alk about it, we're here. Is everything ok? I remember I had the social services called on my dad, and it didn't go well, so if you get them called, stay away from him. Hope I helped

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Old May 10th, 2005, 11:27 PM   #5
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have you ever talked to her about it and told her how you feel? maybe you should
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Old May 11th, 2005, 05:59 PM   #6
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It iosn't as easy to talk to her as you think. She's like a little kid. If she doesnt get er way, she'll have a tantrum.

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Old May 11th, 2005, 06:07 PM   #7
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i know, but think about it this way. if you dont talk to her can you expect anything to be changed?
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Old May 11th, 2005, 06:21 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LHR
This isn't good for any of us. I understand she just wants a partner, and we all do. But when it's hurting us all, she needs to let go.
Thats exactly the sort of thing you need to tell her I know its really difficult but if you could just try and allow her to see things from your point of view. Try to remain calm and if she does get upset then just let her and carry on talking calmly, maybe you could reach a compromise for both of you? You have so much maturity for only being 13 and i really admire that, im so sorry that you're in such a difficult position .

Quote:
Originally Posted by LHR
Lynne, you know we are here for you. Or, atleast I am, but I'm sure everyone else is. If you want to alk about it, we're here. Is everything ok? I remember I had the social services called on my dad, and it didn't go well, so if you get them called, stay away from him. Hope I helped
And thanku that means so much to me, i really appreciate it . Things have got alot better cos my dad doesnt really live with us anymore but he still comes back every so often...i dont really talk to ppl about it, i tend to block things out and pretend they dont happen which i know makes it worse in the long run but it makes it a bit easier to deal with right now if you know what i mean?
Its kinda funny that ive known most of my friends for years and years but i couldnt think of anything worse than them knowing what actually happens, yet id feel so much more comfortable with ppl here knowing....and ive only known everyone for about 4months...
Its strange the way things work out lol
Anyway i really hope things improve for you

xxx
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Old May 11th, 2005, 07:17 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScotsGirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by LHR
This isn't good for any of us. I understand she just wants a partner, and we all do. But when it's hurting us all, she needs to let go.
Thats exactly the sort of thing you need to tell her I know its really difficult but if you could just try and allow her to see things from your point of view. Try to remain calm and if she does get upset then just let her and carry on talking calmly, maybe you could reach a compromise for both of you? You have so much maturity for only being 13 and i really admire that, im so sorry that you're in such a difficult position .
My mum is a difficult person to talk to. Like I said, she will throw a tantrum if she doesn't get her way. If life isn't perfect for her, she is very depressed. It is hard to deal with sometimes. Thank you for calling me mature. I guess it is just a bunch of things that happened in my life that have made me have to stand up and take whatever hits me. I've been the man of my house since I was 7, no matter who came in, so I have to deal with a lot of things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScotsGirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by LHR
Lynne, you know we are here for you. Or, atleast I am, but I'm sure everyone else is. If you want to alk about it, we're here. Is everything ok? I remember I had the social services called on my dad, and it didn't go well, so if you get them called, stay away from him. Hope I helped
And thanku that means so much to me, i really appreciate it . Things have got alot better cos my dad doesnt really live with us anymore but he still comes back every so often...i dont really talk to ppl about it, i tend to block things out and pretend they dont happen which i know makes it worse in the long run but it makes it a bit easier to deal with right now if you know what i mean?
Its kinda funny that ive known most of my friends for years and years but i couldnt think of anything worse than them knowing what actually happens, yet id feel so much more comfortable with ppl here knowing....and ive only known everyone for about 4months...
Its strange the way things work out lol
Anyway i really hope things improve for you

xxx
I know exactly what you mean. It was like that when I found out I was bi. Eventualy you will become comfortable with talking to people. I suggest that if you need to talk to someone, friends are the best people to go to! Good luck Lynne!

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Old May 11th, 2005, 07:36 PM   #10
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Thanks Rudi! Goodluck to you too


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Old May 11th, 2005, 07:54 PM   #11
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Your Welcome Lynne. nd thank you all for your help! I really mean it. This whole family here has been so helpfull to me. You have no clue how much> I was on the verge of suicide without you guys, and you really mean a lot to me.

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Old March 10th, 2012, 08:15 AM   #12
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Default Re: my mum's boyfriend

i know how you feel my moms boyfriend never cared about me i dont need a new dad i have one that cares about me i just feel like hedoesnt have to act like im not there everytime i told my mom she would say dont pay attention to him but he always tries to make me do work and more chores and clean myself more and he tells my mom that he doesnt want to see me grow up as a bum on the street and tries to teach me discipline but my point of view is that to discipline like a father you have to ACT like one too so make sure that if he ever touches you you advise your mom if she ignores you or tries to make you change your mind about him you warn her that its getting out of hand and maybe throw in something like "i know you love him but but you love me too and i feel like i couldnt standliving with him i dont want o get involved in your love life but your love life coincides with mh everyday life and hes making it really hard on me can you please just talk to him about respecting me a bit more at least to control himself" i probably wrote alot but it just bothers me because my moms boyfriend stayed eith her for 3 years and she still talks about her being in love with him and wanting to get back together with him so talk to your mom how you know she will best aknowledge you situations like these can be hard but just ignore anything that bothers you and make sure to stay out of it your mom can handle herself but you cant afford to have a man likethat be against you i hope everythimg turns out good for you good luck!
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Old March 10th, 2012, 08:22 AM   #13
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Default Re: my mum's boyfriend

This thread is almost seven years old. Don't bump threads over two months old.

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