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Old April 15th, 2011, 10:03 PM   #1
SuperTgirlTaylor
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Default MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

I am transgender but i need to tell my parents about the MTF surgery so i can become the female person i was mean't to be. Can anybody please help me plan out how to tell my parents.

Are there any Transgender people who can help me?

PLease and Thank You

Last edited by SuperTgirlTaylor; April 15th, 2011 at 10:07 PM. Reason: Forgot a detail
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Old April 15th, 2011, 10:09 PM   #2
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh Slow down.

You're 13, there's a very low chance you can get surgery, or even hormones. We got somes times to think about that one.

What kind ofpeople are your parents? Are they accepting, do they have any idea you're a girl, are they gonna freak out if you tell them.

How sure are you? I don't mean to discredit (I'm FTM), but it's something you need to be sure about, in case you're wrong and you tell people, you've basically lost credibility at that point.
That's nto to say liev in secret, but don't spill out the huge bombshell without being 100% sure.

How are your friends with this stuff?
Do you have anywhere to go should your parents throw you out?
Are you able to deal with the harassment and shit that comes with being openly transgender?

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Old April 15th, 2011, 10:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

well iam one of his friends and i support him and iam ok with him doing it but idk about his parents but if people make fun of him then they should just deal with it because he is who he is and no one can change that
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Old April 15th, 2011, 10:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh slow down.

You're 13, there's a very low chance you can get surgery, or even hormones. We got somes times to think about that one.

What kind ofpeople are your parents? Are they accepting, do they have any idea you're a girl, are they gonna freak out if you tell them.

How sure are you? I don't mean to discredit (i'm ftm), but it's something you need to be sure about, in case you're wrong and you tell people, you've basically lost credibility at that point.
That's nto to say liev in secret, but don't spill out the huge bombshell without being 100% sure.

How are your friends with this stuff?
Do you have anywhere to go should your parents throw you out?
Are you able to deal with the harassment and shit that comes with being openly transgender?
wow u helped a lot

not
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Old April 16th, 2011, 08:58 AM   #5
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

You didn't give enough information to give a thorough answer and as I don't know you you cant expect me to infer all that

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Old April 16th, 2011, 09:00 AM   #6
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

i would have put some of that up if i knew it, like asking about my parents
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Old April 16th, 2011, 09:48 AM   #7
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

But you know what kind of people they are, you should know how they feel about this stuff.

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Old April 16th, 2011, 01:15 PM   #8
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

your only 13 and wanne be a girll??? are you afraid to admit that your gay cause yuoll get made fun of..if your a transgender you''ll get no respect from your peers.....srry
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Old April 16th, 2011, 01:48 PM   #9
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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i would have put some of that up if i knew it, like asking about my parents
Yeah these are questions no one can answer for you. IDK are your parents going to be accepting?? You know them better then anyone. Plus if your parents are smart they will tell you exactly this, your 13 and still going through puberty. You still have a few years to decide what you want to do your too young!
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Old April 16th, 2011, 02:03 PM   #10
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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your only 13 and wanne be a girll??? are you afraid to admit that your gay cause yuoll get made fun of..if your a transgender you''ll get no respect from your peers.....srry
Just because i wanna be a girl doesn't mean im gay, im not attracted to dating male at all. If i was gay i would have put that on there or asked for help in that area but im not gay, just transgender: Male Appearance and Female Mind

Actually from everybody i have told so far i have gotten support and telling my friends has made a better friendship because now they understand me
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Old April 16th, 2011, 02:06 PM   #11
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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Yeah these are questions no one can answer for you. IDK are your parents going to be accepting?? You know them better then anyone. Plus if your parents are smart they will tell you exactly this, your 13 and still going through puberty. You still have a few years to decide what you want to do your too young!
Actually i was looking for a help from somebody who has been through this and im finding more and more.

This is something that has nothing to do with puberty, its called Mind of Female and Appearance of Male
I'm not to freaking young and i have been trying to decide for the past 2 years and now my heart is set on going to change to female
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Old April 16th, 2011, 02:43 PM   #12
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

I'm sorry hun, but I do agree with Kyle. It's a serious decision. I'm 18 and I haven't even spoken about my sexuality (I know it's different, but it's close) since I was 15 and thought I was bisexual, because I was scared people would pass it off as hormones. But I came out as bisexual, and I ended up being lesbian, which has gotten me into some deep shit in my love life. I'm just saying, a couple years to think on it wouldn't hurt. Don't be so quick to jump into it. It's only your appearance, but honestly, I don't believe in gender past the physical aspect. I think I'm a girl, but my mind is genderless. What I'm saying is, as long as you know who you are, whether you are female, male, third gender, etc. it doesn't matter in the long run, be yourself. And when you're older, you get the surgery. Now, just be a kid, be yourself, and accomplish what you can of it now: acceptance. You seem to have done a bit of that already which is great, but the most important step is your parents. Gauge your parents. Are they conservative, or liberal? Christian? Which denomination? Do they usually vote for or against gay marriage? (again, it's just to gauge. I can't think of someone who doesn't like gays but is accepting of transgenders).

Try to bring up that kind of thing in casual, maybe hypothetical, discussion. Make up a friend who told you that they were transgender, see how they react to that. There's all different ways you can figure out if it's a good idea. If they're extremely against it, it would probably be better to wait until you're an adult and out of their house (as I've seriously seen kids thrown out and disowned over this sort of thing).


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Old April 16th, 2011, 03:03 PM   #13
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

^ i kinda agree but i would have to say do what you think is right it is ur body ur the only one who nos ur self the best
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Old April 16th, 2011, 05:46 PM   #14
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDjguy_girl View Post
Actually i was looking for a help from somebody who has been through this and im finding more and more.

This is something that has nothing to do with puberty, its called Mind of Female and Appearance of Male
I'm not to freaking young and i have been trying to decide for the past 2 years and now my heart is set on going to change to female
Dude seriously I doubt anyone would even perform a surgery like that on a 13 year old! Just think about what your body undergoes from ages 13-22! I would imagine starting hormone therapy and things like that could adversely affect you developmentally. Your only a kid once. You should honestly think of the time money and resources it takes to do what you are suggesting. It would eat up a lot of time to do what kids your age do best, hang out with friends go to school etc. Honestly more power to ya if you are looking for a change but consider waiting a few years so it doesn't get in the way of growing up. But honestly it seems like no matter what anyone says on here your just going to think and do what you want so whats the point right?!
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Old April 16th, 2011, 06:16 PM   #15
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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Originally Posted by Bimmerhead View Post
Dude seriously I doubt anyone would even perform a surgery like that on a 13 year old! Just think about what your body undergoes from ages 13-22! I would imagine starting hormone therapy and things like that could adversely affect you developmentally. Your only a kid once. You should honestly think of the time money and resources it takes to do what you are suggesting. It would eat up a lot of time to do what kids your age do best, hang out with friends go to school etc. Honestly more power to ya if you are looking for a change but consider waiting a few years so it doesn't get in the way of growing up. But honestly it seems like no matter what anyone says on here your just going to think and do what you want so whats the point right?!
i dont want to grow up the wrong person and be an adult and changing
its harder then and there is more to worry about and they have done this surgery on people below the age of 10
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Old April 16th, 2011, 06:36 PM   #16
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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Originally Posted by SuperDjguy_girl View Post
i dont want to grow up the wrong person and be an adult and changing
its harder then and there is more to worry about and they have done this surgery on people below the age of 10
Ok... So you obviously decided this way before you made this thread so why do you need us? You obviously have it all figured out so good luck with that!
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Old April 16th, 2011, 08:14 PM   #17
SuperTgirlTaylor
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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Ok... So you obviously decided this way before you made this thread so why do you need us? You obviously have it all figured out so good luck with that!
no this is asking for help about telling my parents not about the surgery itself
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Old April 17th, 2011, 01:37 AM   #18
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

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Originally Posted by SuperDjguy_girl View Post
no this is asking for help about telling my parents not about the surgery itself
Honestly like others have said you know your parents better then anyone. In this case though unless your parents are very religious, being upfront and honest about how you feel is the best way to go about it. It may not be pleasant but its like a band aid. If they are anything like my parents they will still love you no matter who you are boy or girl.
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Old April 17th, 2011, 01:56 AM   #19
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

Yeah your 13, surgery is out of the question. however, if you are sure, and you would like to tell you parrents, right them a letter explaining everything, all your emotions and whats going on, tell them that youd rather not be confronted about it but you just wanted them to know. and go sleep over at a friends house, leave the letter somewhere you know theyll see and thes no confrontation what so ever, that how my friend told her parrents she was bi-sexual

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Old April 17th, 2011, 02:30 AM   #20
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Default Re: MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

It is possible to get on hormone blockers at 13. However, I have heard that this is not a long-term solution, especially not over the course of years - our bodies need some kind of hormone present in order to function. This is just word of mouth from others' experience, best way to confirm would be to find a doctor who is knowledgeable about this stuff. Yes, that unfortunately involves telling parents. I don't think you have to necessarily be 18 or 19 or whatever, age requirement for medical confidentiality isn't always analogous to the age of majority. I believe it is 16 over here. But that is still a lot of [crucial] time.

Hormone replacement therapy is also possible for minors (considering the above? - I would speculate), but with parent permission of course.

Do what you need to do. The 'common sense' response is to wait until you are old enough, in case you get kicked out or whatever, but if idly watching yourself experiencing the wrong puberty is going to be impossible to deal with and even life-threatening, then that may not be the best approach. Listen to your intuition. No one knows your situation better than yourself.
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