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Old February 15th, 2016, 05:11 AM   #1
Cognizant
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Name: Patrick
Join Date: January 25, 2012
Location: Bay Area CA
Age: 21
Gender: Cisgender Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Random Fits of Depression (TRIGGER WARNING)

I kinda forget that I have an entire online community to vent to when I'm feeling shitty. Lol. But despite my future desire to be a physician or psychologist, I really don't know if this is normal.

I like to consider myself a humble person. I try to brush things off, or fight through them. But sometimes, I'll find myself feeling extremely anxious, depressed, and alone, seemingly out of nowhere.

One more sensitive time was for a week about a month ago. I got extremely depressed. Everything overwhelmed me. I woke up every morning that week feeling resentful.And while I didn't want to actually kill myself, I couldn't help but wondering what would happen if I drove off a cliff, or jumped from the San Mateo Bridge as I was driving home on it. I spent a lot of time thinking about who would care. The fit of depression caused me to impulsively quit my job on the spot, drop out of 2 classes at college, and lash out at someone I really liked. I cried a lot, and felt worthless the entire time.

But as sudden as I started feeling depressed, I just woke up one morning and felt fine. Like as if the past week had never happened. Now I understand that random fits of anxiety can occur especially if triggered by a specific event, but random fits going on for hours or days???

I probably sound really stupid but I don't know what is going on. My health insurance is fucked so I really don't want to see my doctor if I'm just being a crybaby.
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