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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:34 PM   #1
Enkoi
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Unhappy I really don't get it, I really don't...

I don't get it!! *long postage beware* But I need some help!

My bf and I will be 6 months tomorrow. I am very happy, I really know I love him, more than any one I have ever before.

However, our communication is nutsy and up and down.
We talk well in person, when we're alone or with a lot of people. Occasionally we have our miscommunications when we misread each other.

It's our phone convos that suck. I don't understand him. Sometimes we have so much fun just chatting about nothing. Other times we there's silence because we don't know what to say, or I said something that annoys him. He kind of gives me an attitude. I'm a natural talker and yes, I TALK ALOT. He complains that I repeat myself, and complains that I talk to him about stupid things. I say well okay, if he told me sooner as i started to ramble on, I'd stop. I respect what he has to say and I know he respects me too. I just have so much trouble reading him. I already know he's not much of an emotion-telling guy, but he needs to start telling me some things. Which is what happened yesterday. He started to open up and tell me how he felt about things and what I was talking about and like how I made a big deal over nothing (it was a sticker). I listened and agreed.

He doesn't talk some times because he's afraid of saying something that will upset me. Not in a hurtful way, but he will say his opinion and it will offend me. He never wants to hurt my feelings, but it's happened before and he's afraid it will keep happening. That's why he feels like he can't tell me anything.
So I listened and told him, I said I was glad he told me all that and I understand what he was saying. I told him nothing will upset me as long as its because you're telling me the truth and its for the good of both of us. He should not be afraid to ever tell me how he feels because he knows I listen as much if not more than I speak. I know he knows that but sometimes I feel he thinks he kind of knows more than me, or is more right than me.

But I am intellegent and when I do speak I know what I'm saying or mean. And if I want to get really passionate, I will user bigger vocabulary. He knows that but might have a problem admitting it.

I just don't know what to say to him. He doesn't tell me sometimes what's on his mind if he's quiet and he just doesnt express his feelings in phone conversations. It kind of bugs me. And I have the tendency to repeat myself when no one is speaking. Yet, no one has the courage to hang up.

I just don't know how to open up the communication lines sometimes. We've had silly issues before, but resolve them (he usually gives himself time to cool off, then apologizes for being an ass). But I know these things are mostly his fault, but sometimes I don't make it any better.

I know that there's something strong between us because we're still together and I don't know anyone who believes as much as me.

this song lyric is what makes me believe:
"There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight"

It's true...
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Old June 21st, 2007, 06:44 PM   #2
mynameisjane
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

idk i'd think opening to him more would make him open to you more. ask him what he thinks about things. if he gives you attitude, ask him whats wrong. if theirs nothing more to say, then you dont have to talk. it is annoying when someone is repeating themselves on the phone. i understand that you dont want to hang up when youre talking to someone you love, but if theirs nothing more to say, theirs no reason to continue talking. well, idk if that helps. id have to think about this more and get back to you.
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Old June 21st, 2007, 11:18 PM   #3
Enkoi
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

Yeah, thanks for read at least, i know its lengthy =)

I just want him to open up more basically. He is there for me and by far the greatest bf i've ever had.

I dont think any one understands I really do love him.

I know the difference between obsession and love now.
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 12:11 AM   #4
ThatCanadianGuy
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

Well us guys are stubborn asses! I don't know why but we have a real problem expressing our feelings (we'd rather act all pissy and go off somewhere to be all dark and brooding by ourselves ) but we usually smarten up when our girlfriends give us a mental slap upside the head. Talk to him seriously about it; he'll come around if he feels as strongly for you as you do for him. And I know he does; just from reading your post I can tell you guys could be "in for the long run" if you get my meaning!
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 10:42 AM   #5
Enkoi
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

=) Yeah actually I saw him yesterday sometime after posting this.

He wasn't the way he was on the phone, he was quite normal. We all went to my best friends house (a girl, and then my brother and 2 of my other guy friends [we're this big group] and my bf). I mean we played a 3 on 3 football game and i was on my bfs team and another friends team and we kicked my bro's team's ass. But my bro was sensitive about it and blamed all his problems on mike and I. And I took it sensitively (because my brother was sooo harsh with his words-- he practically disowned me as a sister) and my bf was just like to me "its ok, its not you're fault, hes just mad." and held me. He said he was there for me, and my brother will eventually get over it.

See, we communicate so much better in person! aye aye aye.
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 02:56 PM   #6
ThatCanadianGuy
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

Great!

Now we just gotta take care of that brother of yours! You can use the same technique; slap some sense into him! Well, he was being an over-reactive jerk! Heh, probably can't stand the thought of you kicking his ass in sports!
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 09:21 PM   #7
Enkoi
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Default Re: I really don't get it, I really don't...

OMGSH yeah. My brother is a nut case! He hates Mike, he loves Mike, he hates him etc... O_o' Mikey came over all day today. I'm very happy. We went out to eat with my brother and friend (who drove us) and it was nice. Then We went back to my house for an hour and played videogames before we went to my other brothers baseball game. We watched the game some, took a walk and sat on the grass playing our made up hockey games. Then he came back to my house again and ate more pizza, then we went out for ice cream and then mike and my brothers played a mix of golf/hockey game in my room.
We did have a nice 15 minute make out session in my basement family room =). and my one brother whos angry was much better today and Im glad!! and I might go to Mikes soccer game tomorrow which means his house afterwards for a little bit, and MAJOR make outage!! lol.

I dont get it. I cry because of how happy I am. I've never felt this way before even in my longest relationship before this one. (today is our 1/2 yr!!). I am very religious, so I thank God sincerly for this. I think I really love him and this is not my hormones speaking.
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