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Old June 28th, 2016, 04:25 AM   #1
New Member
Name: Micah
Join Date: June 16, 2014
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Default Help please...

Where do I begin to start... I hate my life so much, as of now things have gone from shit to AMAZING to hell in a flash... I don't know how to talk about my feelings because no one cares nor listens... I'm living at my friend's house (whose younger sister I used to date but that comes to follow) because I got arrested and kicked out of my mom's house (another long terrible story) let's talk about my ex, she seems laid back and excited that I'm living here, but deep down, when I talk to her I feel a sort of resentment towards me, hatred even and it worries me because she broke up with me so how do I go about figuring out the problem? Now the fun part, my girlfriend, the love of my life, lives 4-5 hours away, we planned on seeing each other but with charges and probation I can't leave this shit town... so I'm building depression on the fact that I can't have any physical contact with her all summer... I miss her like crazy and it hurts. Lastly, which I'll wrap this up with is my ex girlfriend of 9 months, keeps stalking my social media and won't stop saying she misses me and how much she loves me... I hate myself so much because I have almost gone and messaged this girl saying that I miss her and that I want her back (EVEN THOUGH I don't) she just has a soft spot in my heart and knowing that she's saved me from suicide COUNTLESS times is heart breaking...
Rant complete...
I really need emotional support because... I don't think I can hold out any longer. Before I end up doing something I'll regret, please help me..
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Old June 28th, 2016, 06:18 AM   #2
Name: Cameron
Join Date: January 14, 2016
Location: Earth
Gender: Male
Default Re: Help please...

I'm here whenever you want man <3 i would suggest skype

But I have something similar,
I live with my mum, parents separated, hate each other. Around 7-8 Months ago I was dating someone who i was best friends with for over a year, and after 3 weeks, the 4th one she cheated on me with another guy and that being my first proper girlfriend fucking destroyed me, I had slashed open my arms, there go my first suicide attempt... I ended up waking up and thinking it was all a bad dream... But my whole bed was dry blood, my mum must have gone out and not noticed or something but I had a shower to clean myself up and then broke my razor and slash up my legs, the hole shower, red water going down the drains. After getting over it a few months later I found another girl, I knew her for a bit as I was friends with her and her boyfriend, they helped me... but then she asked me out and I said yes... I was happy for a week or so until we broke up and 2 weeks after that she admitted to cheating on me with 3 different guys and I just couldn't care anymore... I have to take the train the next day for a camp i was going to... it was with people who help me. But i saw a train coming and I stopped... on the tracks... Unfortunately one of the security officers started to come over and I knew even if i had run I wouldn't have made it, So I walked off hoping that he wouldn't question me, But he did, I told him some bullshit story and then ended up missing my bus at the other train stop so I went to another place which is supposed to help... but they sent me to a mental hospital for a week and I had a love/hate relationship with it... some of the people there were mean, but i couldn't do anything about it since the people there are there to stop anyone if anything goes wrong, I did some boxing with one of them and him. for a small guy would fucking kill me in a few punches, of coarse he wont punch me only hold me down and give me a shot to go out but still, And i'm a pretty big guy myself, Anyways, after 7 days in there I faked that I was better to get out, I then didn't try kill myself but wasn't cautious, i would just walk across the road, if i got hit then i got hit, smoked about 3X what I normally did and in general didn't care, afterwards found yet another girl who left me after a week, she said that she didn't like me... at all... so I just planned suicide again but was stopped but some people, that leaves up to the current day, I'm not really suicidal anymore, mostly cause I get paid soon but your lucky to live with your mate i'm stuck living with my mum and I dont think I will last much longer here... at this house... At the moment I just think of ways to kill myself.

I would suggest talking to your someone about how you feel, whether it's your mate, your ex, or even me

and I no how stressful it can be not seeing your girlfriend I couldn't see my old one when we were dating for 2 weeks and she lived so close... but her mum was so strict

Just don't do anything <3 we all love you here, we will help you when you need especially me

Roses are red
Violets are crying
I'm in the hospital
They say I'm dying
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Old June 28th, 2016, 08:07 AM   #3
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Neutral
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: Help please...

yeah...we are here to listen snd support you whenever you need someone.
I have met real great people here sho are very supportive and we helped each other a great deal.

I can't give you a quick solution for your problem but I'm always willing to listen.
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