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Old November 12th, 2018, 05:59 PM   #1
Cheating
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Join Date: November 12, 2018
Location: 🇨🇦
Gender: Undisclosed
Post i think there are so many things wrong with me

iím really not sure how to put it all together. iím a 14 year old girl.
i have so much self hatred for myself, everytime i open my portrait camera i start overanalyzing everything on my face and crying. i canít look into mirrors or take pics with my friends. i literally think iím so ugly. all of my friends tell me that iím not ugly, but itís so hard to believe them and i think theyíre lying. i think i look like a guy and i hate every part of myself.
iím so socially awkward, i feel weird talking to people although i have lots of friends. honestly iím not even sure how i became friends with these people, because i donít even know how to act most of the time. iím so jealous of people who can just talk to anyone and make small talk, but when i try to do that i become quiet and shy because i think theyíll think iím fat or ugly or weird and that just makes me not want to socialize with anyone.
i get so much anxiety talking to anyone that i donít know well. before talking to anyone i plan out everything iím gonna say 100 times because iím scared iím going to mess up my words or act weird. it used to be like that when i was younger too but now that iím older itís gotten really bad where i feel weird ordering food or approaching anyone. and donít even get me started on presentations at school or working in groups.
i also feel alone allll the time. i feel like no one will ever love me or want to be with me. i feel like i wonít ever get my first kiss. there was only one guy who ever liked me in high school and i didnít like him, but now i always think about if i missed my chance and being loved and that no one will ever feel like that about me again. sometimes i wish i just pretended to like him back so i could not be inexperienced and stuff, but i know that wouldíve been so messed up.
i wish i could just be a normal looking and acting girl. i feel like i stand out so much because iím not normal and it affects my self confidence so much. iím not even sure if iím depressed, i feel down all the time but i donít let it get it in the way of what i do. if i have to go somewhere, iíll go anyways even if i look in the mirror and want to crawl back into bed and sleep and not talk to anyone. i try to act normal but thereís always something in the back of my mind making me second guess everything i do and guessing what everyone else is thinking.
thereís so many more things and honestly i canít talk to my parents about it at all. i feel uncomfortable opening up to people and iím not even sure people will see this but i think this is a way i can open up and really think about whatís going on in my life. i really want to fix everything, i want to love myself and be nice to people, and be able to answer questions in class without my heart pounding. if anyone has been through this before and worked on yourself and changed, please some tips would be nice. sorry for the long post.
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Old November 12th, 2018, 09:13 PM   #2
Ouragan
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Name: edgar
Join Date: September 30, 2018
Location: USA
Age: 17
Gender: Male
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Default Re: i think there are so many things wrong with me

Hey Cheating, I probably won't be of much help because I am in that kind of situation too. Mirrors Are my worst fear. I never take pics of myself either . First of all, if all your friends are telling you that you are pretty, it mustn't be wrong, you just have a really bad self esteem issue. You haven't got your first kiss yet ? Chill off, I'm 16 and I haven't got any kiss either, and I'm pretty sure lots of us haven't either. One boy liked you, that means that others probably like you too, right ? Many boys won't openly show that they like a girl, I know I dont. Also don't let yourself go with a boy you don't like, it is not worth it, ask all the girl who lost their first kiss to a jerk. If you don't want to feel awkward, I got one tip for you : Before talking to someone, or do something in public, think of the worst case scťnario, and then you realize that even the worst case isn't that bad, than clear your mind and go for it !
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Old November 18th, 2018, 12:40 AM   #3
Cheating
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Join Date: November 12, 2018
Location: 🇨🇦
Gender: Undisclosed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouragan View Post
Hey Cheating, I probably won't be of much help because I am in that kind of situation too. Mirrors Are my worst fear. I never take pics of myself either . First of all, if all your friends are telling you that you are pretty, it mustn't be wrong, you just have a really bad self esteem issue. You haven't got your first kiss yet ? Chill off, I'm 16 and I haven't got any kiss either, and I'm pretty sure lots of us haven't either. One boy liked you, that means that others probably like you too, right ? Many boys won't openly show that they like a girl, I know I dont. Also don't let yourself go with a boy you don't like, it is not worth it, ask all the girl who lost their first kiss to a jerk. If you don't want to feel awkward, I got one tip for you : Before talking to someone, or do something in public, think of the worst case scťnario, and then you realize that even the worst case isn't that bad, than clear your mind and go for it !
hey thanks for the reply. thanks a lot for your advice also, iíll keep the awkward thing tip in mind.
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