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Old September 22nd, 2006, 11:16 PM   #1
Whisper
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Name: Kodie
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Location: Van Island, BC
Age: 31
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I wrote this just now but to be honest i'm terrified of sending it
i'm not sure what to do


Spouse Abuse – What is It?
Spousal Abuse is a difficult behavior to define because it encompasses a set of symptoms that involve both physical and/or emotional abuse. When it takes the form of emotional abuse, it is characterized by verbal ridicule and/or putdowns that demean and patterns of neglect. Physical abuse involves the threat of physical violence and may include slapping, shoving, and deliberate physical assault.

Spousal abuse is a pattern of behavior that may be the result of a number of different factors. It may be a learned behavior that a child observes occurring between parents and later repeats in his or her adult relationships. Studies show that abusers are often motivated by feelings of powerlessness and insecurity. Spouse abuse inflates the ego and provides a false sense of control. It may be the result of a misguided sense of love that results in unhealthy possessiveness and/or jealousy.

Society is now becoming more aware of spouse abuse than it has been in the past. Previously, even if gross abuse was reported to the authorities, the law was reluctant to get involved. It was assumed that the man was ruler in his own castle and the authorities had no business there. At best it was viewed as a misdemeanor. That view has changed. If a man or woman feels abused, there are now many organizations ready to help

dad somethings seriously wrong with mum what she's doing is verbal spousal abuse
its been going on for years and its getting worse you know it is
Its hurting you I can see it
its breaking you and it tears me up inside
dad she dosent have the right to do this to you your a wonderful husband and the best dad a kid could ever ask for
you work hard, sacrafice and your very understanding
you've been an incredible source of strength for me
now its my turn to try and help you
what shes doing is wrong
shes an abusive alcoholic she needs to stop and she needs help

i've tried talking to you about it but you love her allot I know you do
You dont want to belive it so i'm trying email
but dad
its true
and I can see what its doing to you

I love you sooooooooo much
I know i dont say it as much as i should but i really do care about you
you've always been so caring, kind and protective of me
you've never hit me or threatened me
never thrown things at me

I know i havent always been the best son
and i'm not someone you should be proud of
but I do try
I love you
and I dont want to see you hurt like this anymore

i'm gonna go ask you to check your email now
cause I want you to read this incase mum sees it and goes mental on me
I'm sorry if this email has upset you
please dont be angry

~xXx~
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Old September 23rd, 2006, 05:02 AM   #2
mRojas2000
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Name: Miguel
Join Date: April 1, 2006
Location: Moving around... seriously!
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Oh my god, man, I'm sorry to hear that! ç
You had the guts to write that! now just clic the send button, thats all there is to it! he will undersand, hopefully, and will take action, even if he loves your mom so much, he has to! If he's heart is braking appart, your mom really needs help! Do whatever you can, to help them out in their relationship!!
Miguel

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.


~Harrie's proud brother!~

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Old September 23rd, 2006, 10:10 AM   #3
ScotsGirl
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Aww Cody, Im sorry


And your Dad is definately proud of you!
Youre an amazing person, if there were more people who were even jsut a tenth of the person that you are, the world would be a much better place.

I think you know what you have to do though...if you havent already done it.
I really do hope things get better for you and your dad...

So how about a nice biiiiiiig Scottish hug?

woooooo!!! ...oooh!! i saw that smile!!! i KNOW you just smiled!!! Do it again!! Go on!!! pleeeease!!! You have a lovely smile!! hehe

Seriously though, i hope youre doing ok and i hope you get things sorted out!

xxx
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Old September 23rd, 2006, 12:39 PM   #4
Whisper
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Name: Kodie
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Location: Van Island, BC
Age: 31
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no i havent
I dont want to make it worse
its not black and white thats the problem when i was little there was good and there was evil that cut n dry
i miss that

my mums a severe alcoholic and she is abusive she learned it from her dad he used to beat her, her little sister and her mum
just like alcoholism is a genetic dieses it runs in familys
mine has a very long and nasty history of it

and my mum wasent always like this
When we lived on the Island befor we moved here and bought the stupid store she was wonderful kind caring patient like i remember blowing up a 1000$ microwave with my sisters when she came home she just laughed

now she can be in a wonderful mood and out of the blue shes just PISSED I think when the store went under it broke her some how add to that the fact that she had cancer BAD so they had to cut out like her ovarys and everything so shes on hormonal therapy that dosent work very well which makes her moody to begin with
like seriously ANYTHING pisses her off and she then takes it out on us

when shes in a good mood shes the best
and i dont want to hurt her cause shes my mommy

and shes been very angry at me lattley usually shed yell and stomp off the last fight we had i ran to my room she tore after me and was wailing on my door so hard i thought shed punch through calling me a usless piece of shit a fucking embarasment etc....
she was yelling at me to get the fuck out of her house etc....
..I have nowhere to go

Last edited by Whisper; September 23rd, 2006 at 12:43 PM.
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Old September 26th, 2006, 07:09 PM   #5
ScotsGirl
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Sorry for not replying sooner sweetie

Did you send the email?
The fact that you spent the time to write that email, shows that, even if its on a subconscious level, some part of you thinks that it probably should be sent, or at least...that something should be said.

I think the email is really well written and, if anything, at least it brings to your dads attention that youre worried.
Can i ask...do you think your dad knows? ...or is he just trying to work out why things are so wrong?

Its your decision what you do though, I cant even begin to understand how difficult this must be for you...
Im sorry i couldnt be much help
But im here for you if you need anything

xxx
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Old September 26th, 2006, 08:59 PM   #6
Whisper
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Name: Kodie
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Location: Van Island, BC
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thank you lynne so much...
I didn't send the email but I went out with my dad earlier tonight for a drive we were gon for 2hrs and I just talked to him about it
he keeps blaiming himself and is deperatly tying to fix it but he cant its not his fault and nomatter how hard he trys my mum will always find something
she called him halfway through the drive and just RIPPED his face off because hes trucks muddy its muddy because we've been going on allot of dirt roads and havent had time to clean it my dads just exhausted hes running 24/7 with the bussiness right now


but dad did tell me he wont let her kick me out
he said mum came to him after we had our last fight and said she was kicking me out and dad said no absolutly not hes my son i'm not kicking him out so she said fine then i'll leave dad aperantly just looked at her and said thats your choice i've had enough hes my son if he goes i go were a packaged deal mum of course was LIVID I just found out about that tonight

So i did talk to him all about it and he seemed to understand then the second we got home i had to turn around to go get fuel and dad had to get in the truck to go get the hunters
I was JUST driving off when i herd mum come storming out of the house and start to scream at him again
by the time i got back he was gone and i just saw mum leave down the hill on the quad

and now aperantly mum her bos and her boses boss had a meeting today and aperantly it was a bad one mums boss (hes a great guy very nice) went mental and screamed that he was quiting and mum said if he quits then shes quiting meaning shes moving away to get a job because she has no interest in staying here anymore she dosent want this job and wont be able to find one like it around here
my familys falling apart
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