Has anyone else been transformed into a cynical jerk because of ocd?

I've been through so many struggles with my OCD. I'm sure you all have been through similar things. Anyway, because of my suffering, I find that I'm increasingly unable to relate to other people. While other people are sitting down, talking, and pretending everything is alright, I'm wondering how they are able to do that.

I have such a dark sense of humour. To illustrate, in order to cope with suicidal thoughts, I make jokes about suicide. If I get delusional and think that I'm a child molester/rapist, I'll start making jokes about that. Anything to help me cope.

Before, I used to be such an idealistic young kid. I used to be so religious. Nowadays, I hate the notion of God, and I sometimes curse my parents for bringing me into this world. But usually I love them so much.

Omg!i haven't been diagnosed with OCD but I can relate to most of the stuff you said.I also find myself slipping away from religiom each day and I've become cynical.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?

It's tough. I really don't get how people can act so happy when there's so much suffering out there. I'm not just speaking for myself, I'm speaking for everyone with mental illness.

I watched an anime called "Angel Beats" in which one of the characters, a musician, explains her past. She claimed that the kids who think that nothing is wrong with the world are wrong, and that those who are miserable and in pain are the true human beings. Or something like that. And I agree with her!

Originally Posted by setsuna

I've been through so many struggles with my OCD. I'm sure you all have been through similar things. Anyway, because of my suffering, I find that I'm increasingly unable to relate to other people. While other people are sitting down, talking, and pretending everything is alright, I'm wondering how they are able to do that.

I have such a dark sense of humour. To illustrate, in order to cope with suicidal thoughts, I make jokes about suicide. If I get delusional and think that I'm a child molester/rapist, I'll start making jokes about that. Anything to help me cope.

Before, I used to be such an idealistic young kid. I used to be so religious. Nowadays, I hate the notion of God, and I sometimes curse my parents for bringing me into this world. But usually I love them so much.

I have OCD, ADHD, clinical depression, Anxiety disorder, and a phobia of spiders that we won't get into.

I know what you mean. I just have a morbid sense of humor by nature, but I'm definitely not a jerk to anyone. I realize that my mental disabilities are going to make things harder, and I've learned to live around them. I don't let my disabilities define who I am. I am separate from them.

You don't have to sit back and say "Whatever, my life sucks, this is just it." Because that's bullshit. Learn how to live, despite the crap hand you've been given.

I had OCD when I was younger and I have some kind of mixed anxiety/ depression disorder with generous helpings of paranoia and hallucinations that may be a result of partial epilepsy or another mental disorder. I do feel upset and sometimes angry and annoyed when I see other people having a good time, but you just have to remind yourself that they probably have shit to deal with too and maybe they deserve to forget about it for a while.

I can relate to people looking happy but I relize that I look happy to most people too I don't know maybe they are faking it just as much as I am why cause any trouble for them if they are happy be happy that they don't have to deal with what u do

yeah cynicism arrives with puberty I think when you have mental illness / neurological disorders, that others do not have to deal with. It is much easier to see the dark side of things and even find humor in it. Losing your innocence, coming of age. It is a difficult transition, especially when you have been dealing with mental problems already. It kinda makes you old fast. People tell me in forums how "wise and mature" i am for 13, but that is the reason for it - a lifetime of a s#it load of mental problems (autism, adhd, dyspraxia, depression, prolly some ocd etc.)

Getting away from religion is good. Less you go into satanisum which is basicly another religion. Budist isn't bad. Sense it involves more looking into one self for answers rather than relying on a thousands year old book.

Learn to live by using your brain. Not what a dumb book says you should do. Because it says stupid shit like children who disobey should be stoned to death. Burn thieves at the stake. Such bull shit! Religion is so immoral. Morals come from people, not the book. Look within your self for guidance. Our first instincts are generally correct.

A question for thought. If god is almighty, can he build an unmovable object? If so can he then move it?
If he can not build it he is not almighty. If he can not move it he is not almighty. One of the many holes in religion.


Personally I would start meditation or reflection. Think about what you do and why you do it/feel it. Once you know why you can fix it

Agreed. The things that 'set off' my OCD are the worst.. things that I'm extremely obsessive over I'll scream at people over, even feel the need to hurt them. It's lead me to become extremely depressed, but I'm starting to cope a little better now..

Haha.. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD either but I've done some things like this before and a lot of my humour has ended up in being seeing people in pain (but not extremely)

I've just had to look up OCD on this website because I'm still trying to find out more about all different type of problem, and by what I've seen I don't think I have this but I'm trying to figure out why I keep counting things without even thinking. Sometimes when I'm spinning on a chair with wheels (I love doing this :L) I know when I've span around 50 times without even thinking about it. A random trigger goes off in my mind every time a friend in college starts sneezing, because I was used to counting it before as I found it funny and now I do it without even thinking. I have to swallow the sips from cups and bottles in multiples of 5 and if I end up going over 5 I have to keep going until I manage to stop on another multiple. I work mostly in multiples of 5 and a lot of other numbers don't usually work for me when I'm counting what I'm doing.
I don't know if this in itself is a form of OCD but that is something I've been thinking for a while

I feel the same way.
Anxiety and OCD related anxiety changed my personality a lot.

Looking back at the past me, like when I was super little, I can't figure how I managed being so... nonchalant about everything. - It was all was fun and games. But at this point, it's hard to imagine myself not having OCD, not being this way. It's a curse I'll tell you. I'm so happy though that there's a forum about this; it's kinda the whole reason I joined here.
I do get extremely frustrated when I feel like nobody understands what I'm going through. (I have an anxiety disorder and a certain chronic disease in addition to this worsening problem.)

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