Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old March 9th, 2014, 06:52 PM   #1
The Trendy Wolf
Nice Poster
 
The Trendy Wolf's Forum Picture
 
Name: Grant
Join Date: August 26, 2013
Location: Virginia, USA
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default My Parents' Methods of Motivating Me

A lot has been happening in my life recently, and the majority is in reference to my rising mental issues. Unknown to me until now, I was severely depressed back in elementary school due to the constant verbal abuse that I endured from other groups of kids. Going in to third grade, I passed the GT exam that was required for me to become part of the advanced academic program. This program also required that I switched schools, and in doing so leaving my few friends that I had behind. I have always had a difficulty making friends and keeping them, mainly due to my severe ADHD and combined shyness, and going to the new school caused me to become isolated, as I was unable to find a group of friends that both liked me and I enjoyed being a part of. Isolation eventually turned into independence, and once I began accepting my seemingly unlikable personality, I thrived in school and in sports.

That prolonged loneliness and bullying has come back worse than before, with added severe Anxiety along with the Depression and ADHD. Now, in my first year of high school, I simply cannot find the right motivation to get any homework done, and to make things even worse, my ADHD medication has been irritating and increasing my anxiety in school. I have sought out psychological assistance by my own will, but they are still trying to diagnose my situation correctly before providing therapy. However, this leaves my parents most of the responsibility for making me complete homework for school, but they have not been very successful in their attempts.

My parents, despite all that they know, still don't seem to understand or sympathize for my situation. My mother only threatens me or tells me the consequences if I don't do my homework. She even says that she's going to videotape my behavior, but luckily my dad is able to step in and confront her actions, telling her that she's only making things worse. My mother says that she doesn't understand my behavior and inability to do homework, she only sees with her eyes. What my mother does and says is comparable to bullying, saying how others would think I'm weird. First of all, I know that I'm weird, and she still thinks that I care what others think of me? She still believes I care about the consequences. She uses fear to try and motivate me.

My mother only tells me to do my homework, do this, do that, without any hesitation, and she expects me to do it no matter what. Seems reasonable to her, but given my own anxiety, depression, and aggression, you'd assume that she would try to motivate me in positive ways. She even sounds threatening, yet she becomes angrier still when I yell back, when I walk away, or when I'm silent. At times, ironically, I feel as if she is out of her mind with her parenting methods.

My dad, on the other hand, is much more passive in his ways of motivation. He's a business man, so of course he must have some experience with psychology and getting people to work. He's calm when talking to me, and sometimes I feel the need to obey him rather than my mother, just simply in an act of defiance.

My family has been fighting a lot lately, and there's tension and stress in all our lives. There are times when I truly worry not only for my own mental condition, but for the rest of my family's as well.

Wolves

I try really hard not to be too full of myself

Last edited by The Trendy Wolf; May 5th, 2015 at 06:51 AM.
The Trendy Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 9th, 2014, 11:09 PM   #2
Zenos
Awesome Poster
 
Name: Joe
Join Date: September 15, 2012
Location: louisiana
Gender: Male
Default Re: My Parents' Methods of Motivating Me

Um my question is this:

How could you not know you where depressed?

I was depressed in the 4th grade and knew it!
Zenos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 9th, 2014, 11:48 PM   #3
Karkat
Knight of Blood
 
Karkat's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ren Hek
Join Date: February 20, 2014
Location: Land of Pulse and Haze
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 2
Default Re: My Parents' Methods of Motivating Me

This sounds a lot like how my mom does things. I'm sorry you have to go through with that.


Just a ghost

Nothing to see here
Karkat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old March 10th, 2014, 05:04 PM   #4
Tarannosaurus
Awesome Poster
 
Tarannosaurus's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: August 10, 2013
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: My Parents' Methods of Motivating Me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Literate View Post
A lot has been happening in my life recently, and the majority is in reference to my rising mental issues. Unknown to me until now, I was severely depressed back in elementary school due to the constant verbal abuse that I endured from other groups of kids. Going in to third grade, I passed the GT exam that was required for me to become part of the advanced academic program. This program also required that I switched schools, and in doing so leaving my few friends that I had behind. I have always had a difficulty making friends and keeping them, mainly due to my severe ADHD and combined shyness, and going to the new school caused me to become isolated, as I was unable to find a group of friends that both liked me and I enjoyed being a part of. Isolation eventually turned into independence, and once I began accepting my seemingly unlikable personality, I thrived in school and in sports.

That prolonged loneliness and bullying has come back worse than before, with an added PTSD and severe anxiety along with the depression and ADHD. Now, in my first year of high school, I simply cannot find the right motivation to get any homework done, and to make things even worse, my ADHD medication has been irritating and increasing my anxiety in school. I have sought out psychological assistance by my own will, but they are still trying to diagnose my situation correctly before providing therapy. However, this leaves my parents most of the responsibility for making me complete homework for school, but they have not been very successful in their attempts.

My parents, despite all that they know, still don't seem to understand or sympathize for my situation. My mother only threatens me or tells me the consequences if I don't do my homework. She even says that she's going to videotape my behavior, but luckily my dad is able to step in and confront her actions, telling her that she's only making things worse. My mother says that she doesn't understand my behavior and inability to do homework, she only sees with her eyes. What my mother does and says is comparable to bullying, saying how others would think I'm weird. First of all, I know that I'm weird, and she still thinks that I care what others think of me? She still believes I care about the consequences. She uses fear to try and motivate me.

My mother only tells me to do my homework, do this, do that, without any hesitation, and she expects me to do it no matter what. Seems reasonable to her, but given my own anxiety, depression, and aggression, you'd assume that she would try to motivate me in positive ways. She even sounds threatening, yet she becomes angrier still when I yell back, when I walk away, or when I'm silent. At times, ironically, I feel as if she is out of her mind with her parenting methods.

My dad, on the other hand, is much more passive in his ways of motivation. He's a business man, so of course he must have some experience with psychology and getting people to work. He's calm when talking to me, and sometimes I feel the need to obey him rather than my mother, just simply in an act of defiance.

My family has been fighting a lot lately, and there's tension and stress in all our lives. There are times when I truly worry not only for my own mental condition, but for the rest of my family's as well.
My mother seems quite like your mother - and the reason my mother acts the way she does is to avoid the problem, thinking that if she avoids it the problem will go away. That way of acting isn't very helpful to you and you have a right to be annoyed about it, but maybe this will help you to understand your mother.


H&A mod
If you have a question don't hesitate to PM me or email me at [email protected]
Tarannosaurus is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2018
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2018, VirtualTeen.org