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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:34 PM   #1
Obsidian
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Default I can't feel anything...

So I just had sex with this random guy I met online. I knew him for a few days off of this dating website or whatever. And we talked about having sex and then hooked up today. And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, because people hook up with people they don’t know all the time. But this is the fifth time I’ve done it…

The other times I’ve done this I came home and cried for hours because I couldn’t believe that I had done something like that. & I wish that I was feeling that way right now. But now I feel nothing. I feel emotionless. And somehow that’s even worse. It’s like I’ve actually become an object and not a person. I’m just something you screw for an hour or so and then never talk to again. I don’t matter or anything. And I can’t blame anyone for treating me like that. Because that’s what I’m allowing. I hate myself so much that I have lost all of my self-respect. And the worst part is that I don’t care anymore. I’ll probably just end up doing it again.

It feels good for a minute to be wanted. And to not feel like I’m disgustingly unattractive. It feels good to forget how much I hate myself. But then when it’s over and the person barely talks to you the amount of self-loathing you feel is pretty much unbearable. At least that’s how it used to be. This time I didn’t care. It’s like I shut my emotions off. And now I feel like I can’t get them back on.

I daydream all the time about falling in love and being in an awesome relationship. But I know I’ll never find one. Because this is all I’m good for. Screwing and then throwing away. Why would anybody want anything else from someone unattractive and socially awkward and so incredibly stupid?

I just want to cry, or be angry, or feel like the trashy disgusting human being that I am. But I feel nothing. And I can’t take it anymore. I don't know what to do.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:43 PM   #2
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

Wow. I'm sorry that you feel like that. Don't lose all self-respect. You don't deserve that. You deserve better. Next time, instead of looking for a dude to hook up with, look for a dude who wants to take you on a date or out to dinner or something. Take it slow and make sure he makes you feel special, because you are.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:47 PM   #3
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

Listen to Bryce. Start dating, not hooking up. That holds no promise but for a miserable time. Don't put yourself into situations like that.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:50 PM   #4
Obsidian
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

I guess I'm just so insecure that I don't feel like I deserve anything more than that. But thank you guys for the advice.. I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:54 PM   #5
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost In Fiction View Post
I guess I'm just so insecure that I don't feel like I deserve anything more than that. But thank you guys for the advice.. I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon.
Don't think like that you deserve SO MUCH. You are a special person that deserves the upmost respect from any guy
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Old July 31st, 2013, 02:59 PM   #6
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ballinbme23 View Post
Don't think like that you deserve SO MUCH. You are a special person that deserves the upmost respect from any guy
Thanks It actually makes me feel a lot better to hear that.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 03:02 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Lost In Fiction View Post
Thanks It actually makes me feel a lot better to hear that.
Well I'm glad to hear that if you need anything, advice or just need to talk, feel free to message Do not post contact information on the forums. ~StoppingTime

Last edited by StoppingTime; July 31st, 2013 at 03:21 PM.
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Old August 2nd, 2013, 11:34 PM   #8
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost In Fiction View Post
I guess I'm just so insecure that I don't feel like I deserve anything more than that. But thank you guys for the advice.. I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon.
you deserve so much more a guy who loves and treats you like a queen, friends who care about you, and most importantly happiness.

please don't lose self respect your a person not an object a beautiful person inside and out any guy would be lucky just to know you and they should all wanna date you.

names andrew i love tattoos and im straight


Last edited by handle with care; August 2nd, 2013 at 11:39 PM. Reason: i left out a word
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Old August 2nd, 2013, 11:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: I can't feel anything...

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Originally Posted by andrew183502 View Post
you deserve so much more a guy who loves and treats you like a queen, friends who care about you, and most importantly happiness.

please don't lose self respect your a person not an object a beautiful person inside and any guy would be lucky just to know you and they should all wanna date you.
Thanks I never feel like I deserve much so it makes me feel really good when somebody tells me I do. You're a really awesome person.
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