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Old June 24th, 2009, 07:12 AM   #1
Cromm
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Name: Patrick
Join Date: June 15, 2009
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Exclamation I'd like to share something with all of you...

I was thinking about posting this for awhile... not really sure how some of you would react, but I think it's a story that needs sharing. It's not really my story, it's my sister's; and I would never dream of sharing it without her permission, but she's been more vocal in recent years about getting the message out, so here goes:


A number of years ago, my older sister (who at the time was 17), was walking home from a concert downtown. She had went with three of her friends, so she felt safe. Her friends got off the subway two stops before she did. Making the short trip from the subway to her bus stop alone, she was assaulted and raped. I won't go into details, but that part's actually worse than it sounds.

She went to the hospital where they did a lot of tests. I was too young at the time to fully understand what had happend; all I knew was someone had hurt my big 'sis. She stayed there for a few days for observation, but thankfully her body was not seriously injured and the STI tests all came back negative.

While she was in the hospital, she gave a description of the man who attacked her. My mom and dad wouldn't let me be in the room with her when she did that, but I watched through the window as the detectives talked and took notes. To this day I still remember the look they shared with each other. The look I now know to mean "Oh, that guy. Yeah, we know him."

The man was arrested the very next day and charged with several Class A indictable offences. My sister was forced to testify (which was yet another trauma) but he was found guilty. This ass wipe is currently serving a 25 year prison term.

Justice served, right?

Not entirely.

Added to the simple fact that taking away this man's freedom in no way equates to making things right for my sister, this story has the added tragedy of never having to have happened.

You see, my sister wasn't this man's first victim.

Only six months earlier charges against him for raping another young woman had been dropped because she had refused to testify. The Crown could have issued a subpoena, but chose to respect her wish to be left alone.

For a long time, I felt my sister had paid the price for this woman's cowardice. It's a horrible thing to say, I know this now, but for I long time I hated that other woman almost as much as I did the bastard who hurt my sister. It wasn't her fault of course. You can't help feeling what you feel: whether that be fear, or shame or anger... you just feel it. I get that now.

Still... I can't help but think how my sister's life, my family's life, would have been different if that other woman had come forward; or if the Crown pushed the issue.


Rape is a crime I can't even begin to comprehend, but if you're one of the many young women every year who fails victim to it, I would erge you, for the sake of every woman after you that that person may harm, report the crime and follow it through to the end.

Thanks for your time.

Last edited by Cromm; June 25th, 2009 at 09:29 AM.
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Old June 25th, 2009, 10:08 AM   #2
orangecounty
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Default Re: I'd like to share something with all of you...

Completely agree with your words.

You have to understand that it is hard to take the stand against someone...if they aren't convicted due to lack of evidence or they get a light sentence, you live with the chance of the rapist or whomever finding you in the future.

Just don't blame the woman. The one person I had to testify against was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life...and I am not sure I would do it again. Also, after you are raped, you often mentally and physically feel weak and inferior...she probably had no fighting left in her.

"After the game,
the king and the pawn go into the same box."
-Anonymous

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Old June 25th, 2009, 11:38 AM   #3
pkid
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Default Re: I'd like to share something with all of you...

First of all I'm so sorry to hear that. Secondly instead of wasting your time on hating those two peope you should spend that time with your sister; helping her, encouraging her, and maybe just being the good/funny brother. What you should do is to make sure that she forgets or something about this problem. You really can't do anything but to forgive and forget, I know this is hard to hear, but if you don't forgive or forget your going to live the rest of your lives being really angry and or miserable.
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Old June 25th, 2009, 12:47 PM   #4
Cromm
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Red face I know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by orangecounty View Post
You have to understand that it is hard to take the stand against someone...
Just don't blame the woman...she probably had no fighting left in her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkid View Post
Secondly instead of wasting your time on hating those two peope you should spend that time with your sister.
I did say "I know this now" didn't I? This happened years ago, and I've gotten past it... as much as possible anyway. My sister will never really be over it, but she's better now. She has a life and a husband. She'll be okay. The family's okay.

I appreciate the support, I do; but I let go of all those negative emotions years ago.

I can certainly understand how hard it is for some people to come forward. I posted this story not to vent my frustrations, but rather in the hopes that those reading it will realize that when they keep their secrets... it's not just their life it's effecting.

I sincerely hope that all of you reading this will never have to make that difficult choice, but I pray that if you do, it will be the right one.


Peace.
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Old June 26th, 2009, 07:12 AM   #5
Brilliance
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Default Re: I'd like to share something with all of you...

I am very sorry for what happened to your sister. And I'm sure it affects you everyday. I think you are a brave girl for sharing this with us. All the best.

All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they're all not the same

Feel free to PM about love, life and all the inbetween.
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