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Old January 27th, 2019, 12:41 AM   #21
Second Chance
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
Thank You for the good words and concern.
I have support but still hurting.
Make use of your support because you will need it more than anything now and into the coming year.

You will be hurting for some time, and I will not lie to you by saying that you will feel normally right now. At this stage I agree with the poster above who had given you some advice on how to handle things. You have to take things one day at a time and remember that it is all right to have a breakdown and to feel badly. Especially if this is the first death you have experienced of someone your age, then it will feel rough going through the process.

Remember that you will be going through a process which is why having access to a professional be it at school/campus/or privately along with making use of your family and friends is all the more important.

You may feel numb for a while and wonder the meaning of many things. No one can explain to you why your friend had to die when he did and why he could not have had a long life. If you try to even figure that out, then your head will spin, and you will go nuts. Instead, what you should do is recognize that despite your loss you had something special that few people ever have in their lives.

Do not focus on what you will not have now because the reality is that using the good experiences you have had with your friend you should build upon your relationships with survivors around you. It is during this time you will realize who your real friends are.

I do not mean to sound patronizing in anyway, but in time when you recognize you and your friend are now in different planes of existence that you will eventually come to peace though you will always value the times you had with him. Perhaps his death was a concrete end of your childhood especially if he has been with you growing up. I do not mean to impose religious values here, but whatever your faith tradition, then it would be good to seek guidance from your spiritual advisor. If you do not have a faith tradition, then do not feel badly because you can still make use of counselors around you.

The feelings you currently have will take a while to accept. I am careful to avoid saying overcome because I do not want to imply that you will forget your friend. If you have a faith tradition, then my guess is that your friend has been reunited with His Maker and is in a place in which he has managed to earn a place at a young age. If you do not have a faith tradition, then know that you managed to connect with someone in a way that few manage to do so and that should motivate you to value those around you.

Last edited by Second Chance; January 27th, 2019 at 12:47 AM.
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Old January 27th, 2019, 03:40 AM   #22
Just JT
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Hey man Iím so sorry to hear about this.
Iíd like to sit here and say all those thing I wanted people to say to me when my dad was killed in a car wreck a coup,e years ago, but I also know they often feel like empty words, other than knowing people are there for you

You had a great bro and a best, shared the best and worst of time....I know....
You and him had something special.....how many years?
Most of us donít ever get that chance do we?
Reflect on those days and know you had something others will never have, a best bro like that you could say anything to.....anything....

I canít bring yiur bro back but if I could I would, in a second, no matter what it takes, I know the pain, I get how yiur feeling, like it was yesterday I was told my dad was dead. I was alone, scared, fucking pissed off and really really sad, he was my best friend.....and Jean gone

Donít, please do not blame yourself....god I hope you are not doing that....this is (sadly) almost nature taking itís course, God has his reasons, and weíll never know why he lets this fuckin bullshit happen, but he does....

My best to you bro, talk more, often, and listen, it help


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Old January 27th, 2019, 05:04 PM   #23
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just JT View Post
Hey man Iím so sorry to hear about this.
Iíd like to sit here and say all those thing I wanted people to say to me when my dad was killed in a car wreck a coup,e years ago, but I also know they often feel like empty words, other than knowing people are there for you

You had a great bro and a best, shared the best and worst of time....I know....
You and him had something special.....how many years?
Most of us donít ever get that chance do we?
Reflect on those days and know you had something others will never have, a best bro like that you could say anything to.....anything....

I canít bring yiur bro back but if I could I would, in a second, no matter what it takes, I know the pain, I get how yiur feeling, like it was yesterday I was told my dad was dead. I was alone, scared, fucking pissed off and really really sad, he was my best friend.....and Jean gone

Donít, please do not blame yourself....god I hope you are not doing that....this is (sadly) almost nature taking itís course, God has his reasons, and weíll never know why he lets this fuckin bullshit happen, but he does....

My best to you bro, talk more, often, and listen, it help

Thanks JT-Havent seen u around in along time. No Im
not blaming myself but Im still not the myself about
everything.
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Old January 31st, 2019, 03:49 AM   #24
Emilyfox
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
I don't usually post many threads but right now I have a really
bad hurt. I wont go into a long detailed story but this centers on
one of my best friends who right now is in intensive care in the
hospital without of any resort of getting well. It was as auto
accident that happened last night. I got the word this morning
and right now im alone in my room trying to make all of this out.
He was my best friend since grade school and we were like Bros.
I cant believe Im posting this and even feeling this way when after
all these years Ive been reading and giving support to others and
now I cant even give myself support. I just want to vent to let it out.
I don't want to message or chat cause my head is running on empty.
Everyone says the hurt will go away but for now it Fkn sucks.
Big hugs. Iím so sorry about your friend
Youíre really cool so hang in there
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Old January 31st, 2019, 06:57 AM   #25
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilyfox View Post
Big hugs. Iím so sorry about your friend
Youíre really cool so hang in there
Thanks Emily for caring.
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Old February 5th, 2019, 05:57 AM   #26
Keenan.
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

I am so sorry for you

"There is no greatest waste of time than regret"
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Old February 10th, 2019, 05:53 AM   #27
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

This morning I hurt. I posted this
in another group also but there is
a service in church this morning for
my friend who passed away. Im
going to try and not get emotional
but it is going to b somber. Grieving
sucks. They say remember the good
times-Yes its true but sometimes to
remember the good times also hurts.
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Old February 10th, 2019, 06:10 AM   #28
drhalsey1
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
This morning I hurt. I posted this
in another group also but there is
a service in church this morning for
my friend who passed away. Im
going to try and not get emotional
but it is going to b somber. Grieving
sucks. They say remember the good
times-Yes its true but sometimes to
remember the good times also hurts.
Hope it all goes well for you then, grieving and such does suck. And remembering good or bad can hurt for sure, I can relate to that. So hope it all goes well, for what it is.
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Old February 10th, 2019, 12:17 PM   #29
Pultost
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

I'm so sorry for your loss. No one deserves this. *hugs*

"Eating vegan food is like eating vegetables all day, and that's not very appetizing."

-Eddie, Masterchef Junior.
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Old February 10th, 2019, 07:13 PM   #30
karacoustic
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Awwwww so sorry. Be strong and it is okay to let yourself be sad and cry even as you remember your friend.

Feel free to pop in at Kara's Korner and soak up some positive vibes.

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Old February 10th, 2019, 07:21 PM   #31
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Thank u everyone for caring.
The service was nice but I was
uncomfortable-still not over it
but Im Ok-Sucks
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Old February 10th, 2019, 07:24 PM   #32
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Second Chance View Post
Make use of your support because you will need it more than anything now and into the coming year.

You will be hurting for some time, and I will not lie to you by saying that you will feel normally right now. At this stage I agree with the poster above who had given you some advice on how to handle things. You have to take things one day at a time and remember that it is all right to have a breakdown and to feel badly. Especially if this is the first death you have experienced of someone your age, then it will feel rough going through the process.

Remember that you will be going through a process which is why having access to a professional be it at school/campus/or privately along with making use of your family and friends is all the more important.

You may feel numb for a while and wonder the meaning of many things. No one can explain to you why your friend had to die when he did and why he could not have had a long life. If you try to even figure that out, then your head will spin, and you will go nuts. Instead, what you should do is recognize that despite your loss you had something special that few people ever have in their lives.

Do not focus on what you will not have now because the reality is that using the good experiences you have had with your friend you should build upon your relationships with survivors around you. It is during this time you will realize who your real friends are.

I do not mean to sound patronizing in anyway, but in time when you recognize you and your friend are now in different planes of existence that you will eventually come to peace though you will always value the times you had with him. Perhaps his death was a concrete end of your childhood especially if he has been with you growing up. I do not mean to impose religious values here, but whatever your faith tradition, then it would be good to seek guidance from your spiritual advisor. If you do not have a faith tradition, then do not feel badly because you can still make use of counselors around you.

The feelings you currently have will take a while to accept. I am careful to avoid saying overcome because I do not want to imply that you will forget your friend. If you have a faith tradition, then my guess is that your friend has been reunited with His Maker and is in a place in which he has managed to earn a place at a young age. If you do not have a faith tradition, then know that you managed to connect with someone in a way that few manage to do so and that should motivate you to value those around you.
Faith is getting me through this.
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Old February 11th, 2019, 03:33 PM   #33
desertlizard
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Unhappy Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
I don't usually post many threads but right now I have a really
bad hurt. I wont go into a long detailed story but this centers on
one of my best friends who right now is in intensive care in the
hospital without of any resort of getting well. It was as auto
accident that happened last night. I got the word this morning
and right now im alone in my room trying to make all of this out.
He was my best friend since grade school and we were like Bros.
I cant believe Im posting this and even feeling this way when after
all these years Ive been reading and giving support to others and
now I cant even give myself support. I just want to vent to let it out.
I don't want to message or chat cause my head is running on empty.
Everyone says the hurt will go away but for now it Fkn sucks.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! I couldn't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now. For now, just know that it will get easier, and that your friend would want you to feel better! Again, so sorry!
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Old February 11th, 2019, 05:40 PM   #34
ska8er
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Default Re: Im Hurting Bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertlizard View Post
I'm so sorry that happened to you! I couldn't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now. For now, just know that it will get easier, and that your friend would want you to feel better! Again, so sorry!


Thanks for the support. Im trying to
get over this but its slow coming.
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