Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old May 18th, 2018, 06:08 AM   #1
SoxFan
New Member
 
Join Date: May 18, 2018
Gender: Male
Default I am not sure what I need

Iím not sure where this belongs, part of it belongs here and others belong in relationships. I am going to try to make this organized but it might not be.

I used to use this site probably quite at least 7 years ago and I found it to be helpful so Iím turning to it now. I am currently in a relationship with a girl and I am just so turned off by all of it. We have been together for more than a year, we havenít had sex, but she is totally okay with it. She is so deep in her love for me that she doesnít realize my growing disinterest. She was my best friend for 2 years, then I was sort sort of peer pressured into dating her and now I just donít want to hurt her. I was attracted to girls in middle school as well as high school; I have asked girls out many times before, but during high school, I fell in love with a boy and he was all I could think about. Some of my friends knew about those feelings and tried to get me to ask him out as well as to prom. I did not.

Now, all I can think about is the what if. What if I had asked him out, or asked him to prom? What if he said yes? I eventually told him about my feelings but given his religious background, I didnít wait around for his response; I walked away not wanting to know if I had lost a really good friend.

I am at the point in the relationship where I know I have to break up with her, for her sake before she officially moves closer to me and before we eventually move in together. I deep down want to date guys, but I canít accept myself for it. I have no problem with LGBT people. I am a big activist, always trying to change peoples views on the community, but when it comes to myself, I hate that part about me. I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by my brother for just being the person I wanted to be when I was younger and I think itís playing a role into my decisions now. I know my family would be fine with any of my decisions, but my family also loves my current girlfriend, and the abuse that I suffered makes me want to just do anything to please the people around me.

I just want to be happy, but in the same time. Iíve been depressed for many years, that I donít think dating a boy could change that. I also donít think I would be able to accept myself if I did go date a boy.

Iím not sure if I am actually looking for an answer, or if I just had to write this out somewhere but I am just not sure what to do and itís just making my depression worse by the minute.
SoxFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 19th, 2018, 02:17 PM   #2
ska8er
VT Lover
 
ska8er's Forum Picture
 
Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Re: I am not sure what I need

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoxFan View Post
Iím not sure where this belongs, part of it belongs here and others belong in relationships. I am going to try to make this organized but it might not be.

I used to use this site probably quite at least 7 years ago and I found it to be helpful so Iím turning to it now. I am currently in a relationship with a girl and I am just so turned off by all of it. We have been together for more than a year, we havenít had sex, but she is totally okay with it. She is so deep in her love for me that she doesnít realize my growing disinterest. She was my best friend for 2 years, then I was sort sort of peer pressured into dating her and now I just donít want to hurt her. I was attracted to girls in middle school as well as high school; I have asked girls out many times before, but during high school, I fell in love with a boy and he was all I could think about. Some of my friends knew about those feelings and tried to get me to ask him out as well as to prom. I did not.



Now, all I can think about is the what if. What if I had asked him out, or asked him to prom? What if he said yes? I eventually told him about my feelings but given his religious background, I didnít wait around for his response; I walked away not wanting to know if I had lost a really good friend.

I am at the point in the relationship where I know I have to break up with her, for her sake before she officially moves closer to me and before we eventually move in together. I deep down want to date guys, but I canít accept myself for it. I have no problem with LGBT people. I am a big activist, always trying to change peoples views on the community, but when it comes to myself, I hate that part about me. I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by my brother for just being the person I wanted to be when I was younger and I think itís playing a role into my decisions now. I know my family would be fine with any of my decisions, but my family also loves my current girlfriend, and the abuse that I suffered makes me want to just do anything to please the people around me.

I just want to be happy, but in the same time. Iíve been depressed for many years, that I donít think dating a boy could change that. I also donít think I would be able to accept myself if I did go date a boy.

Iím not sure if I am actually looking for an answer, or if I just had to write this out somewhere but I am just not sure what to do and itís just making my depression worse by the minute.


U side with the LGBT community as an activist in changing community views but U hate urself probably of what u went through when u were younger. U r
confused in ur feelings for ur girlfriend and the guy u could have had. Ur wondering what to do. I'm sure there r therapists within the LGBT community
that can talk it out with u and give u some good advice to calm ur feelings and advise u better than anyone here. I or anyone else could tell u to leave ur girlfriend and hook with the guy but the girl put so much effort into the relationship u had and where u had a chance to find out what feelings the boy
might of had for u. The girl is still there-the boy is gone-U r confused. How is it going to b like in future relationships? What do u consider ur orientation to b? I would go with those feelings but it is not for us to tell u. U need someone to talk this over with in order for u to feel better bout urself. As an activist c someone in the LGBT community an c what they can do for u.
ska8er is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 21st, 2018, 06:21 AM   #3
SoxFan
New Member
 
Join Date: May 18, 2018
Gender: Male
Default Re: I am not sure what I need

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
U side with the LGBT community as an activist in changing community views but U hate urself probably of what u went through when u were younger. U r
confused in ur feelings for ur girlfriend and the guy u could have had. Ur wondering what to do. I'm sure there r therapists within the LGBT community
that can talk it out with u and give u some good advice to calm ur feelings and advise u better than anyone here. I or anyone else could tell u to leave ur girlfriend and hook with the guy but the girl put so much effort into the relationship u had and where u had a chance to find out what feelings the boy
might of had for u. The girl is still there-the boy is gone-U r confused. How is it going to b like in future relationships? What do u consider ur orientation to b? I would go with those feelings but it is not for us to tell u. U need someone to talk this over with in order for u to feel better bout urself. As an activist c someone in the LGBT community an c what they can do for u.
You are right in saying that I should see someone I talk to.

I probably could have worded things differently, but I didn’t mean that I wanted to hook up with that same boy from high school. It’s not like I don’t sometimes think about him, but I know he is off doing his own things and most likely is not attracted to guys. I more meant that I think my attraction to girls is getting decreasing while my attraction for guys is rising.

I could live happily with this girl probably for a long time, we are still best friends, I just don’t have that connection with her that couples should have.

But you are right that I should talk to someone about my hatred for that side of me. It’s the only way I can think of that would help me love myself for who I am and to be happy again.
SoxFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 22nd, 2018, 06:56 AM   #4
ska8er
VT Lover
 
ska8er's Forum Picture
 
Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Re: I am not sure what I need

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoxFan View Post
You are right in saying that I should see someone I talk to.

I probably could have worded things differently, but I didn’t mean that I wanted to hook up with that same boy from high school. It’s not like I don’t sometimes think about him, but I know he is off doing his own things and most likely is not attracted to guys. I more meant that I think my attraction to girls is getting decreasing while my attraction for guys is rising.

I could live happily with this girl probably for a long time, we are still best friends, I just don’t have that connection with her that couples should have.

But you are right that I should talk to someone about my hatred for that side of me. It’s the only way I can think of that would help me love myself for who I am and to be happy again.
Again u r confused. U r best friends couple with the girl rather
than boyfriends couple. That is entirely two different things.
Best friends can develop into a romantic or physical relationship
but a lot of times the connection is not there. Don't go hating
urself because of this. U have a girl best friend and best friends
r hard to come by. There is nothing wrong in liking guys if that is
where ur thoughts r. Really I have the same thoughts u have but
I'm not hating myself. Let it all play out but the best thing as I
said before is talk with someone who knows how to handle the
feelings and thoughts u have. Being abused earlier I think plays
a part in u not liking urself.
ska8er is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:57 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2018
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 - 2018, VirtualTeen.org